Refiner

You have very good intuition. Always remember that :-)

xmrscran

I had to read your post twice because I was sure that you were dating my ex. He told me all the same things, how horrible his ex was, he drank and drove with my son in the car, he was "secretly" drinking and then he wanted to change. I married him and we have a daughter who is going to be 3 in July...RUN AWAY, no contact. Do not put your children through this hell, and call his children's mother and agree to testify for her in court HIS KIDS COULD BE KILLED if you don't! Alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages.

Neeko123

ave not communicated with him for a week. I have ignored his texts and trying to refriend me on Facebook. He texted me today that he still had done of my things at his apartment and wanted to know if we could talk. I broke my silence and told him that it was not a good idea and that I am pretty angry and just want to be left alone. Is this normal for them to not want to let go and move on? I don't think I owe him another face to face conversation. My therapist and I have come to the conclusion that I need to work on boundaries and being ok with telling people no. I don't really need my stuff back, but I do have a dvd set of his

hopeful4

Yes, they hold on like a burr on your side. The best way is NC b/c when you break that it gives them hope, even if you are saying what they don't want to hear.

anykey

I still say- dont fall for the- you are the reason he drinks. Dont buy it.

Recovering2

A's will do anything to keep you enmeshed. You are the one who has to set....and keep...boundaries. He will find some reason to contact you, ie wanting to return something of yours. You've made a healthy decision for you and your child, stay no contact and he will eventually get the message.

You are a great Mom. This may be hard right now, but you will look back and realize you did the best thing for both you and your daughter.

Neeko123

And the reason I am looking for support here is because I have never been around those with addictions. I have no clue what to expect when it comes to their behavior. I like to prepare myself and understand so that I can make good choices.

ladyscribbler

No sweat Neeko. You're in the right place, and I think it's really smart to have someone else go with you to pick up your stuff. Don't forget to take your ex's DVDs with so he has no more reason to contact you- though he will probably try for awhile.
Stay strong and keep posting. It helps.

Seren

Neeko, I'm so glad that you have the irl support of a counselor. You are very wise to do so!! I know how much stress this is likely to be causing you, and hope that you know you can come here and vent anytime you need to.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you see a post that crosses a line, please report it.

Several posts have been removed under Rule 4.
Others have been removed because they referenced the 'Rule 4' posts.

paige73

You've been in the relationship for only 3 months....get out of there while you still can. Wait 'til that 3 months turns into 10 years or 20 years....don't do that to yourself or your kids.

Neeko123

So I went with my brother in law and we met him in a public place to trade our stuff. I had a brief conversation with him. He is working with a therapist and on medication to help him get off alcohol. He apologized and said that he hit his rock bottom when I left him. I told him that I only knew him for the months and that he stole, lied to me and put all of our kids lives in danger. And that Finn that point on I could never trust him again. It would always be in the back of my head. And you can't build a healthy relationship when someone has been hiding something so big. It hurts because I still miss him but my daughter and I deserve more

SeriousKarma

That must have been a hard conversation Neeko. I really respect you for having it. Good for you.

love4menotu

Much respect for you neeko.

L