dollbaby115

my boyfriend is out of detox reahb after 5 days, what normally happens now with a person, i know everyone is different, i know he is thinking about going to a long term rehab but who knows if that will happen, he was on subutex and xanax then had a crack binge -- is really 5 days enough time, im really confused what steps should someone be taking -- ive never had a drug problem or known anyone with one so im clueless. thank you

Hammer

Yeah. Rehab would be a REAL GOOD IDEA, RIGHT NOW.

To answer your question -- in general, their next step is they go Bonkers.

You DO NOT Want ANY Part of THAT.

ladyscribbler

Alanon or naranon would be a great place for you to get some answers. Everyone here is just going to tell you to run.
I'm telling you that as well. Run to a meeting and start asking yourself why a relationship with a drug addict seems like something you want in your life.
And yes, I already know that he's a great guy and amazing when he's sober and that you two seem perfect for each other in every way- except this pesky addiction to multiple drugs that he has.
Take care of you right now.

LadyinBC

I'm sorry you find yourself here, but glad you found this site.

5 days is not enough time. Recovery is a life long commitment. Long term rehab would be a great idea, however, your get from the programs what you are willing to put into them.

When I quit drinking it just wasn't a matter of stopping. I had to be willing to change things about myself and do things that went outside my comfort zone.

Quitting your booze/drug is one thing. Staying off them and staying sober is totally something else.

Post here as often and as much as you need you will get a lot of support here.

Mango blast

Good advice above. I just want to wish you well. I pray your boyfriend goes to rehab and learns how to deal with this disease of addiction. Alanon or Naranon are great places for you to be, no matter what else happens. Celebrate Recovery is another good one. Their addictions effect us in many ways. These programs are for us, for our recovery.

Is there a rehab center already lined up?

embraced2000

taking care of yourself is the next "now what?" issue that belongs to you.

hammer and ladyscribbler have stated it perfectly, with few and powerful words of experience.

this is one mighty sticky wicket....much too big for any of us to try to handle.....I've used the familiar phrases that all of us here have used...."but I LOVE him"...."but he is different"......."but I can help him, I just know I can"......"this time, it is different"...."he deserves another chance"......"if it doesn't work this time, I will end it"....but, if, but, but, but, if if if.......

run. run as fast as you can to al-anon. or other support organizations that know what the real deal is.

LadyinBC

This is a very good point and one I can't stress enough. You look after yourself FIRST. Family and friends of the addict really do get missed at times. You guys have to recover too from all this. Don't let yourself get lost in his recovery. You matter too.

Taking5

Your BF has been to detox not rehab. They are different. Most rehab places will not even take you unless you have detoxed already. Rehab would be a great place for him. What normally happens now is the A will go back to drinking/using.

Great advice here about alanon. Check it out.

Raider

Yes they go bonkers......I came out of a 28 day rehab and completely lost my mind. Drinking heavily (again), and a whole lot of other things I shall not post openly. I did such stupid $hit, I seriously thought I was loosing my mind. You've only known him 11 months Sweetie, run and don't look back. Don't wait until you have a boatload of kids and no money.

dollbaby115

Wow thank you all so much everyone is like his recovery and give him time and bla bla I know now the drugs come first but I have needs and feelings too ya know, i had to deawith the relapse and the crazy week that just happened of his crazy phone calls saying how sorry and how much he loves me, n bla, bla like I've been telling you for months to get help, we dated for over two years its just I know he's going through this but I was effected too ya know and I say that not trying to sound selfish , its just crazy the whole thing. I just really do care about him I wish I didnt

mattmathews

You'll get good advice here. Less advice, but great tools in Al-anon (maybe easier to find a meeting than Naranon).
But outside a few places like this one, you'll find that most people have absolutely no idea what you're dealing with when you're the friend or loved one of an addict/alcoholic.
To repeat the great advice above: Detox is not rehab! Detox gets you safely off the drugs with medical assistance, rehab gives you the tools to live a sober life. A 28 day in-patient rehab would be my advice, and time is of the essense. Outpatient rehab works for some (I hear), but it offers way too much free time and distractions to someone who is struggling to kick a beast off their back that is cunning, baffling and powerful.
Know your enemy! Go to a meeting.