Courage To Change 04/28/14
 

Sometimes the things we consider our greatest weaknesses prove to be our greatest strengths. They provide us with opportunities for growth that we would never have had otherwise. All my life I prayed for courage, but
it was through my shyness that I learned that courage was already available to me. I was hesitant about sharing in meetings, afraid I would be ridiculed. I sat in the back and kept my secrets to myself. Still, I heard my own story so often that I began to lose my fear. Calling upon a reserve of courage I didn’t know existed, I managed to approach some members who seemed to have similar experiences. In time, I had spoken with so many people one-on-one that sharing in the group became possible, even comfortable. If my fear had simply been removed, I might never have known that I am capable of acting on my own behalf. I didn’t need enough strength to get up in front of a roomful of strangers; I only needed enough to keep me taking tiny steps. I had exactly enough strength and courage to reach my goal.

This is me right now. If I try to share at meetings about anything painful, I start to cry. If it involves anger, I cry. Frustration, same.


I am hoping that time will help this. I've come from a place of total isolation, no family and no job and few friends. I know it will take some time. If people would just chillax and stop worrying about me talking, it would be even better.

I'm guessing that isn't going to happen though, so I have to be assertive in saying I'm not ready to share, and then relax myself.

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.