Succinctly, it means I can't be okay with myself unless you are okay. It means my actions are not truly representational of my authentic true self because what you do, think, and act impacts me too much. It means I am not able to really take good care of myself because I am too involved in taking care that you are alright. My most favorite phrase was...."What's the matter"! Now when I say that it really sounds ridiculous. Have you been there?

It is exhausting, causes depression and anxiety and robs one of true happiness. You really are not able to self actualize and live life fully and completely.

We become co-dependent when we turn our responsibility for our life and happiness over to our ego (our false self) and to other people.

When we focus so much outside ourselves, we lose touch with what is inside of us: our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices, experiences, an even indicators of our physical functioning, such as heart rate and respiratory rate. These and more are part of an exquisite feedback system that we call our inner life. Our inner life us a major part of our consciousness And our consciousness is who we are: our True Self.

Codependence is the most common of all addictions: the addiction to looking elsewhere. We believe that something outside of ourselves — that is, outside of our True Self — can give us happiness and fulfillment. The "elsewhere" may be people, places, things, behaviors or experiences. Whatever it is, we may neglect our own selves for it.

Self-neglect alone is no fun, so we must get a payoff of some sort from focusing outward. The payoff is usually a reduction in painful feelings or temporary increase in joyful feelings. But this feeling or mood alteration is predicated principally upon something or someone else, and not on our own authentic wants and needs.

Succinctly, it means I can't be okay with myself unless you are okay. It means my actions are not truly representational of my authentic true self because what you do, think, and act impacts me too much. It means I am not able to really take good care of myself because I am too involved in taking care that you are alright.