Dawning awareness
 

Well, well

After a couple of Al Anon meetings and some back and forth with my A brother I am seeing how I have been enabling him

I have to say that what floors me is how GOOD he is at playing my emotions,
I swear if he used half that energy on something BESIDES "Poor me, you all can do what you want but my life is crap etc etc"

I am beginning to see that there is a component of playing helpless and hopeless and using emotional hooks from childhood that are SO manipulative and so out of character to who he USED TO BE.

My brother has actually been gone a long time, decades even.

Thank god for Al Anon, thank god I can start to see how I am playing into his game, even when I feel he isn't even aware of his behaviour anymore, it's just who he is now.:wild

Thanks for posting this , Littlesister1. I get that from my son, who I believe is an alcoholic. I am looking for an al-anon meeting in my area.

I know how it feels to realize that they have been gone for a long time...

good luck to you. and I hope your brother gets well.

hugs,
chicory

Thank you so much!
I can't tell you how much I have already been helped by A)This place and B)Al Anon

I barely know the people there but they "Get it"

So sorry about your son, it is so heartbreaking.

My mama used to blame herself about my brother and before she passed she asked me to look after him. I had to talk to her last night and tell her "Ma, I can't do this anymore, noone can help T, please understand"

And afterwards I was able to sleep quite well.

This is such a strange process, I am welcome to the changes but oh my...........

I am glad al-anon has helped you already. and this place is awesome, good people, kind and lots of experience, unfortunately.

I bet that your mom really would approve of what you are doing now.