funkynassau1

I was a member here last spring/summer and got a lot of good advice about how to deal with the alkie in my life. In the end I just stopped talking to him and my life became peaceful once again.

Last week he facebooked me and told me off for having a certain person on my friends list! I then blocked him. He emailed me to tell me his cat died, which is sad, and I was suitably sympathetic. He expressed a desire to start up our friendship again and apologized for the facebook comment and for unfriending me there. I was polite and said maybe we could become friends again but it would take work on both parts. He asked that I phone him and I said I'd call yest. as I was busy til then. I asked for his phone # which he didnt provide.

Then yest. around dinner time he sent the nastiest rudest email I've ever received telling me what a piece of sh*t I am and how he held out his hand to me in friendship and blah blah blah. Given that it was about 5 pm I knew he'd be plastered and I am sure he was. He really said some terrible things to me. I wrote back and asked what he was so mad about because I had written and asked for his phone # which I never got. He claims he never got my emails, so I sent them again! Well, not 5 mins later he emails all nicey nicey and telling me how much he misses me and my husband, that we were his best friends blah blah blah. Talk about Jeckyll and Hyde.

I replied that had he just asked if I'd rec'd the emails all this nastiness could have been avoided. I said I was going out and would email him today, which I did, and I told him that his cruel nasty email was very hurtful and ultimately he got it wrong, because I did reply to him twice.

Thankfully no communication today but it's early. I dont want him in my life, I need to stop this before it gets worse. I need some advice on how to do this besides blocking his emails, which is a valid option and will probably happen sooner or later. I dont want the drama all over again. He is no different than he was a year ago.

Thanks,
Funkynassau

SparkleKitty

You have your own answer:

"In the end I just stopped talking to him and my life became peaceful once again."

Refiner

It sounds like you need to be up front and not just ignore and he'll go away (you see how well that worked last time, huh). I've had to nuke the bridge on two people in my life where I made it very clear over the phone that we have grown apart in our friendship and want different things and that's it's ok and to just move on and I wish them the best. I did it over the phone where I could hang up (as they were yelling and *itching at me). Then I blocked their phone numbers and emails. Easy Peasy and I've never been happier in ending those two relationships!!

gaffo

A hard thing that I learned in a similar situation is that "no contact" is a two way street, if I read the email/message I'm bringing it on myself. It's totally against my nature to do that to someone who obviously needs help but you have to look out for yourself first. Like they say on the airplane, put on your own oxygen mask first! Good luck.

BoxinRotz

Hey... when I weed the friendship garden I don't go through looking at those suffocating, nasty weeds like... oh, I think I'm just going to pick your leaves off...

Oh no funky... I go full out and make sure they never come back!!! I don't have time to be messing with a bad weed in my beautiful garden!

LoveMeNow

With "friends" like him who needs enemies.

Block and walk.....get back to your peaceful life. If you don't, check your motives because you can't be the victim if you already know the truth.

funkynassau1

I know I need to stop this before it gets out of hand, I think my problem is me, I am just too nice a person and I need to get some starch in my backbone again and stop talking to him. My life had been so calm, and I am just not used to someone messing it up and that's what he'll do and I'll be back where I started, which I sure dont want.

Thanks for all of the comments, I know you guys are right, I just need that reinforcement speech from you! I'm going to stick around here to get my momentum back up!

Recovering2

He pulled you back into his tug of war, and you picked up your end of the rope. Put it down and walk away. He wants to be friends again? You can just say "No" and get back to your peaceful life.

hopeful4

No contact. Nothing else to say.

Move forward with your peaceful life. As you can see, he is still the same.

Live

Friendship requires trust, respect, generosity. He isn't capable of those things therefore all he has to offer is upset. I don't want upset in my peaceful home and I am the gatekeeper of who and what I let in.

Marcella99

Apologies mean nothing when the behavior continues to repeat itself. Cut this person off and get peace back in your life. Misery needs company.

funkynassau

Thanks for the shot of starch into my backbone! I need it and I appreciate your help!