Relationship "rules" Last week the therapist asked us to come up with three rules for our relationship. This is what we came up with: 1. HONESTY. always. 2. COMMUNICATION. Don't assume the other person's intentions behind what is said or done. 3. FRIENDSHIP. Sharing common bonds, laughing and having fun are all important elements that go into building a relationship. Keeping these elements alive can only improve things. I don't know if these really sound like "rules" (not a fan of rules, lol), but it will be interesting to hear what the T says about them. Do any of you have rules for your relationships? Sitting down and talking about/coming up with these was an interesting exercise. |
Yes, we made a list of "agreements" during our therapy sessions. Once he relapsed, they all flew out the window. |
We don't really have rules, but we are honest. Also, we don't ever force/coerce or manipulate the other one to do what one of us wants. If one doesn't want to do whatever, then the other just does it alone. |
Sounds sort of superficial but I think politeness is really important. Plus the ones you listed. |
Originally Posted by MissFixit
(Post 4606839)
Also, we don't ever force/coerce or manipulate the other one to do what one of us wants. If one doesn't want to do whatever, then the other just does it alone. |
Originally Posted by readerbaby71
(Post 4606846)
Having my own life and things that I do for me has always been very important to me. If I want to do something, I do it, and would never hold my SO back from doing what he loves or wants to do. |
:ValA004::MusBand:Yeah---respect always came in as #1 priority. My reasoning: One cannot love what they don't respect. One cannot respect (and love) another,properly, if they do not have respect for themselves. If one is coming from a position of respect--they cannot, then, treat another in an unloving and caring way. Sing it to me Aretha....R E S P E C T.......give it to me;give it to me; give it to me....... dandylion |
We don't have rules per se, but years ago when I re-did our Master Bath while he was away in BASIC training my girlfriend & I painted psychedelic murals over 2 of the walls. Right next to the sink/mirror area is a large yin/yang with the words Love, Respect, Truth & Compassion written around the outside like this: http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/a...ps74b5e8c4.jpg It kinda became our 4 Agreements, starting with how we treat our Selves & then by extension between us.... & I have most certainly pointed out to him how he has definitely not honored them in recent years & how it really is as simple (to me) as getting back to those basic tenets. |
My husband and I have been in family counseling for a while now and we did an exercise like that too. I love our family sessions !! There is a website called Marriage Builders, a lot of thought provoking things there. I know you two aren't married, but I think its good for anyone in a serious relationship. |
My AH and I went to marriage counseling. We were suppose to make a list of "rules". Never got there. I couldn't get over him lying to the T about how much he drank. |
I think the only rules that we have are that we can't use the terms "always" or "never" and that we stay off each other's side of the street, but I get on my husband's side of the street still but I just tell him that I'm going to do it before I do. Like "hey I'm gonna hop over to your side of the steer right now, but are you going to go to a meeting today and if so, when are you going to go to a meeting today?" Then he can tell me to back up or he'll just answer. Lastly, being kind is a big one for us because we both have a tendency to be mean. :/ |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:19 PM. |