My goodbye.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 243
My goodbye.
To My Dear SR "family" -
I joined this God sent website on February 23 this year. Over the past almost 3 months, I have: read, cried, prayed, read, thought, gathered wisdom, gathered humor, cried & redried my tears. Finally, I've come to the place that a person feels when it's time to take the band aid off the emotional wound that we who are the families, friends, or lovers of individuals who battle with addiction- whether alcohol or drugs finally get to. My thanks can never be expressed verbally. My thanks can be expressed perhaps in the breeze of the air on your faces when you feel that healing peace in your gut/soul. My thanks can be felt when the sun shines through your car window on a Spring or Summer day and your favorite song is playing on the radio. My thanks can be found in the camaraderie that exists amoung soldiers in a foxhole during battle as we have. That's how I believe my thanks can be felt- in the simple joys of the little things that don't take our joy. My thanks can be found in the joys that lengthen our joy & elongate our freedom from what caused us pain. You have been my friends and extended family as far as I'm concerned. I can never thank you enough for the wisdom, strength, courage, laughter & HOPE that I gathered, read & embraced and digested to know that the sun shines at the other end of the tunnel. How do I know it's time to go? How did I get there? Well, I know it's only by God's grace that my spirit feels its time to stop posting my former situation. And, well, it's because I feel sick and tired of preoccupying my time on the guy who was my alcoholic, drug addict ex boyfriend. Yes, I processed my tears & the "why I couldn't fix the problem" my friends: I'm tired of thinking of him, his addictions, his words, his lies. It feels better mentally & physically to not bother thinking of him. May I still read & post a response if I have one? I love you guys. I really do because you were the friends I could truly open up with and let the pain out too. Thank you for being there for me. My prayers will always be there for you all. Thank you for your guidance in my healing. I'm just so tired of thoughts of him. By the way, I didn't send a gift basket to him for Easter. I did send a "Have a blessed Easter" text though and that was my final curtain call. It was my way of saying goodbye to him. Did he respond? No. Of course not. But I'm happy he didn't. He showed his colors. I showed my faith. A friend once told me "you go to a fast food restaurant - don't expect filet mignon" yeah, that applies to him too. His journey & recovery are his responsibility. I'm not bitter, I forgive him. I did want to say "thank you for loving me" to him, but he probably wouldn't have regarded my sentiments. I hope he gets clean & sober. But from all the reading I've done, they all say its a progressive addiction. Unless an addict is getting help, they're active. And I just can't be around it anymore. I decided to step around the poop pool
thank you Chicory, Hammer, Kate L Bluncain, Hopeful4, Marie, Ann, Hevyn, Steffip-- thank you for my hugs from Bonny Scotland! And to all the wonderful people who responded to my posts & those who read mine & said a prayer for me-THANK YOU. I 'll remember the words of all of you. May your hearts, families, souls, friendships, loves, & marriages be healed. May your loved ones who battle addiction come to desire, attain & maintain sobriety. I pray for all of you everyday. Thank you & May God bless all of you & yours. I mean all these words with my heart. Love Always, Bernadette777
I joined this God sent website on February 23 this year. Over the past almost 3 months, I have: read, cried, prayed, read, thought, gathered wisdom, gathered humor, cried & redried my tears. Finally, I've come to the place that a person feels when it's time to take the band aid off the emotional wound that we who are the families, friends, or lovers of individuals who battle with addiction- whether alcohol or drugs finally get to. My thanks can never be expressed verbally. My thanks can be expressed perhaps in the breeze of the air on your faces when you feel that healing peace in your gut/soul. My thanks can be felt when the sun shines through your car window on a Spring or Summer day and your favorite song is playing on the radio. My thanks can be found in the camaraderie that exists amoung soldiers in a foxhole during battle as we have. That's how I believe my thanks can be felt- in the simple joys of the little things that don't take our joy. My thanks can be found in the joys that lengthen our joy & elongate our freedom from what caused us pain. You have been my friends and extended family as far as I'm concerned. I can never thank you enough for the wisdom, strength, courage, laughter & HOPE that I gathered, read & embraced and digested to know that the sun shines at the other end of the tunnel. How do I know it's time to go? How did I get there? Well, I know it's only by God's grace that my spirit feels its time to stop posting my former situation. And, well, it's because I feel sick and tired of preoccupying my time on the guy who was my alcoholic, drug addict ex boyfriend. Yes, I processed my tears & the "why I couldn't fix the problem" my friends: I'm tired of thinking of him, his addictions, his words, his lies. It feels better mentally & physically to not bother thinking of him. May I still read & post a response if I have one? I love you guys. I really do because you were the friends I could truly open up with and let the pain out too. Thank you for being there for me. My prayers will always be there for you all. Thank you for your guidance in my healing. I'm just so tired of thoughts of him. By the way, I didn't send a gift basket to him for Easter. I did send a "Have a blessed Easter" text though and that was my final curtain call. It was my way of saying goodbye to him. Did he respond? No. Of course not. But I'm happy he didn't. He showed his colors. I showed my faith. A friend once told me "you go to a fast food restaurant - don't expect filet mignon" yeah, that applies to him too. His journey & recovery are his responsibility. I'm not bitter, I forgive him. I did want to say "thank you for loving me" to him, but he probably wouldn't have regarded my sentiments. I hope he gets clean & sober. But from all the reading I've done, they all say its a progressive addiction. Unless an addict is getting help, they're active. And I just can't be around it anymore. I decided to step around the poop pool
thank you Chicory, Hammer, Kate L Bluncain, Hopeful4, Marie, Ann, Hevyn, Steffip-- thank you for my hugs from Bonny Scotland! And to all the wonderful people who responded to my posts & those who read mine & said a prayer for me-THANK YOU. I 'll remember the words of all of you. May your hearts, families, souls, friendships, loves, & marriages be healed. May your loved ones who battle addiction come to desire, attain & maintain sobriety. I pray for all of you everyday. Thank you & May God bless all of you & yours. I mean all these words with my heart. Love Always, Bernadette777
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
My friend, I am so glad you are moving forward and are in the mental place to do that. You have helped me loads. I hope you come back from time to time to just drop in and say hello!
Tight Hugs and I wish you all the luck and blessings in the world!
Tight Hugs and I wish you all the luck and blessings in the world!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
Originally Posted by Bernadette777 
I decided to step around the poop pool
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