iamthird

Pray and keep your side of the street clean is all you can do. I heard in a movie "emotional people rarely get heard" and it resonated with me because I am emotional. So what I am saying is try to keep calm.

I remember when I had my domestic violence hearing I was emotional and wasnt making sense and AH looked all calm and collected. I regret that day so much.

Go in positive knowing youre supported. Breathe. You will be just fine! We are all there with you!

theuncertainty

Sending hugs and wishing you continued strength.

CodeJob

Thinking about you and hope everything goes well for you later today. Hugs!

Psalm5110

I will hold some space in my heart for you today! I am separated from my AH but am still subjected to some of his emotional abuse. Thankfully, I have my son and have been able to arrange time for him to spend with his dad at my in-laws' house, supervised by my MIL (who isn't in total denial anymore, at least). But I hate having him spend time there, and I cannot imagine your distress at not being able to guarantee your baby's safety...ESPECIALLY because of the physical violence component. I pray that you get your baby back...that the judge grants a restraining order or whatever will protect the two of you...that you are able to get out and get help...and that you are able to rebuild a safe, secure life for you and your little one.

hopeful4

O my goodness! What an awful piece of crap he is. Question, is there a custody arrangement? If not, I would say if ol mom and dad bring the baby again you can refuse to give the baby to them as you are the mother.

I hope things happen in your favor very quickly today. I am saying lots of prayers. My heart hurts for you. Keep us updated!


XXX

HealingWillCome

I am praying that everything is okay for you. Please let us know how you are doing.

Rosiepetal

Bigs Hugs & thoughts go with you.
Some very good advice posted on here already.

missboots

Court went well- AH acted up a bit, pulled the I love my wife bit and shed some tears. I stayed calm, told the truth, the protective order was granted. I got my stuff out of the house in a thunderstorm, but the worst part is the state of things now. My son is sleeping peacefully. I'm in a comfortable hotel. But I am so sad. Sad about my AH; if he doesn't get his life together he may lose out on the chance to raise our baby. Alcoholism is the devil. Thank you all for the support. I'm gonna clean up, cuddle the boo, and gear up for lawyers. Peace to all.

Mango blast

I am so happy to hear your son is back in your arms and relieved that you are both safe!
You're doing very well. You've been through a lot and are moving forwards to a new life. Take time to take care of you, too.

One step at a time. Each day gather some new support around you and keep building your support system.
Saying prayers for you, your son and your husband also. May he somehow be lead to the help he needs, and may he someday choose to accept it.

HealingWillCome

Yes! I am so happy to hear your baby is with you again! Still keeping you all in my prayers. You are amazingly strong. Congratulations on the way you handled yourself in court.

missboots

Going tomorrow to sign the divorce papers and have them notarized. I thought I'd feel liberated but I'm terrified. I don't want God angry at me. And once this happens, who knows how he'll react? Wish me luck!

Mango blast

I honestly believe He has sent angels to be with you and your son and has been guiding you to find safety. Pray, and listen. Meditation is good for the mind and soul. Prayers are with you. May all go well tomorrow! ((((missboots))))

CarryOn

MissBoots...hugs, prayers, and all good things to you and your baby. I do not believe God put any of his children on this earth to suffer at the hands of another of his children. God also gave us each free will - your AH has used his, now you must use yours and do what you know is the best thing for you and your child. I hope you receive the support and blessings you need now from the people around you; I am certain you are already receiving them from God. Please continue to read & post...there is wonderful wisdom & experience here that I know can help you on your journey.

missboots

Just updating- it's been two weeks since I've left my AH and things are mostly great. Work is going well, I'm about to move into a less expensive hotel, and I got a truck! It's no Cadillac but it's in great shape and was a heckuva deal. And most importantly I get enough time with my kiddo. But AH has been writing to me since the protective order went into effect and today he kept calling so I filed charges on him today. I feel sad and guilty.

Tomorrow he will probably get served the divorce papers. I'm afraid of how he'll react. And I'm not feeling the freedom and joy I thought I would. When will that kick in? I'm not mad at.him. I'm just sick of alcoholism being such a big chunk of my life. Is it normal to not feel the happiness I expected now that I'm free of the anxiety?

Mango blast

One day at a time. Easy does it.
Patience and taking care of myself are harder on some days than others. There's a lot for the mind, body and spirit to process. (((hugs)))

What is your biggest fear about how he'll react? Think about it logically to see if it's future tripping and/or something you need to plan to keep you and your son safe. Surround yourself with help. Keep expanding your support network. This does double duty -- it gives you that actual physical support when needed and it also gives you the mental support of knowing who and how to contact people who are there for you.

TryingToLearn

MissBoots, Congratulations for getting out and glad things are going well.

ladyscribbler

Hugs Missboots and congratulations on your new ride. I think that what I felt when I stepped out of the alcoholic dance was not so much happiness, but relief, and that built slowly over time. Like something randomly unpleasant would happen- flat tire, kids getting headlice ( I know, ick), or whatever and I would have that fleeting thought- this sucks, glad I'm not dealing with a drunken man child on top of this, and I would feel relief. Because living with alcoholism just makes a bad day worse, in the same way that it can suck the joy out of good things if someone is drunk and violent and acting like a child. For the last several months I've been looking back at the previous year's holidays and comparing them to this year's. The difference is night and day. No drunken episodes. No cleaning up blood, vomit or pee. No one screaming in my face- I guess you want a $&@?&/! gift. Well you're not getting $/!& from me. So p!$$ off. Nothing like that, just peace for me and my kids.
Good suggestions from others. He has already shown that he will resort to violence. Protect yourself and keep, reaching out and just do the next right thing.
Hugs to you and your sweet baby.

HealingWillCome

You are amazingly strong and I admire the choices you have made to take care of yourself and your baby. Wishing you the best. I hope all is well today.

inpieces314

This one hit me particularly hard.

I got a protective order on the ABF in 2012. It worked; he went to rehab and straightened up.

It didn't last, though. Although he was never violent again, I still never took as drastic measures as I did when I filed that order. He still drank (started a couple months after rehab), although like I said, he was never violent again.

A couple years/months/whatever from now, stick to your boundaries. Don't let him try to weasel his way back in. This is on HIM now, and he has to do what he has to do, without you.

It will either make him stronger, or kill him. But either way, you did the right thing, you are doing the right thing now, and you will continue to do the right thing. Don't ever forget that.

missboots

Thank you all. : )

ladyscribbler, you're absolutely right about the holidays. Instead of dreading Mother's Day tomorrow I'm looking forward to a lazy Sunday with my kid, taking him for a walk in his stroller, naps, sharing breakfast.