jacrazz

You guys are so full of compassion and understanding when us newbies come on here and ask questions like:

Did he/she love me?, should I stick it out?, will it work? Are there any happy endings?....blah blah blah.....our desperation is endless.

I know you guys probably say "bless their hearts" and I don't mean that you are saying it in a mean way, it's just through your own brand of Hell due to the choices you made to stay with the A's in your life. It makes me sad what we do to ourselves for the sake of "love"......It must be a trigger to see us trying to see the situation though rose colored glasses. You know how it's going to end. Some of you try to be as soft as possible and some of you just cut to the core, and I get it 100%. You don't want anybody to feel the hell you have experienced, due to your choice to stay.

There is a recent thread on here where the question was if there were any regrets about staying with your A. Unfortunately, 99.9% said that you wish you would have left sooner.....I just kept reading it over and over. It should be a sticky and we should call it "reality check".....makes me sad

findingmyself14

Hear hear. Well said. It's the network of "long timers" that helps me through too. Good luck on your journey.

I read that post over and over again. It wasn't a particularly happy one. But possibly one that can help us newbies think differently about what is realistic.

embraced2000

it was the "old-timers" that helped me through, also, when I first came on this forum.

I had already been in al-anon for a time before I logged onto soberrecovery.

I love the al-anonian experience and will embrace it for the rest of my life.....but they did not really want to hear about my alcoholic or the chaos in my life. they wanted to hear about ME......not him.

but I wasn't done discussing the chaos. (like an old junk yard dog that drags home a dead animal, chews on it, rolls around on it, moves it around, plays with it, buries it, digs it back up, chews on it some more, regurgitates and then eats that....."

disgusting anology, but it fits like a glove to my psyche at the time.

I could come here and whine, complain, cry, ask questions, rage, and have partial breakdowns.....and these folks would love me through it with their experience, strength, and hope.

jacrazz

Working on this myself, but I'm AWARE it's there, when just up until a few days ago, I wasn't fully....and I'm sure next week, next month, next year, I will be aware if something new! Thank you for the analogy!! Nothing disgusting about it, fits like a glove!