My Husband

Old 07-01-2004, 02:44 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: charlotte,nc
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My Husband

Hi my name is Margie,and I have a husband who is an alcoholic.We just married this past Dec..and it has never been good.I'm now living to myself..His drinking is way out of control...Yes I knew he had a problem,and I as always ignore this.My first husband was the same way..That marriage lasted (4) years.
He now says he's going to stop which he has for now...its only been 2weeks..He's looking into "Rehab"....and going to start AA...
He wants me to come back home,say's he want drink anymore...I'm wondering if i should give him another chance..Deep down I feel I should stay where I am now...untill I see he does mean what he said...But at the sametime I feel by me being their it might help him to go through this program.
I sure could use some advice....My own advice for me isn't working....Thanks Margie...
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Old 07-01-2004, 03:33 AM
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Join Date: May 2004
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Hi Margie
Welcome. I am also married to an A and for 18 years. He started going to AA 3 years ago. He started when he knew I was really going to leave. I had threatened many times but this time something inside had clicked and he knew it. Only you know what to do. You can support him whereever you are but he has to do it himself. So many times I wanted my AH to get help and he never did. He had to decide to get help. I think if you feel you should stay where you are right now then that is what you should do. You have to do what is right for you.
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Old 07-01-2004, 04:36 AM
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Hi Margie and welcome.

Right on. His success will not depend on whether you are living with him or not. Have you thought about attending alanon? If this is your second alcoholic marriage maybe there are some thinking patterns you could look into. You might also want to pick up a copy of Melody Beattie's book "Codependent No More" and see if you recognize yourself in there.

Make yourself at home and please feel free to share and ask questions here anytime.

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Old 07-01-2004, 04:36 AM
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Trust that "deep down" feeling. For far too many years I ignored that intuition. Now it is my best friend.

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Old 07-01-2004, 05:56 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Margie -
Glad you're here with us. Stick around. If you're not sure what to do, do nothing. A piece of advice I read on this board that has served me well.
Looking forward to getting to know you -
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Old 07-01-2004, 06:09 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Iowa via Alabama
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Hi, and welcome, I agree with the rest here, listen to your inner feelings, they are usually correct...Its easier to pay attention to the inside than our brains, the A's in our lives have this little thread that they connect to our heart through our brain that tends to leave us brain "tired"...I know that whatever my A would say to heart always tugged....
The day did come when I had enough....and the string from his manipulative hand to my heart/brain broke...i left.

Good luck and many hugs,
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Old 07-01-2004, 04:24 PM
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Location: charlotte,nc
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I thank you all for sending such caring & wonderful messages.....Margie50
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