Missing pets
 

I had to leave my two cats behind with my XAB. It's extremely hard to not have them with me. I've had cats my whole life and they have always been such a comfort and stress reliever. We got Elly a few years ago, a year after we moved in together. She brought such joy to us in the good times. She stuck with me through the worst times. I felt horrible when we got into fights (including broken glass shards) and she would be terrified. Then, when he sort of made an attempt at getting help, we got an 8 week old kitten. I didn't think it was a good idea because I didn't trust him at all to get sober. But I trained her to use the litter box and we introduced her to Elly, they soon became best friends. Now a year later, I am in a much better place but heartbroken over them. I couldn't take them with me, no pets allowed in my apartment and he literally would have hurt me if I took them. Plus I would feel bad because he really has nothing left and he has always taken good care of them. Now I'm trying no contact to sort out my feelings but he has sent me a few adorable photos and a video of them. I also have a ton of photos of them on my phone. Bittersweet. It just sucks not having them running around making me laugh, cuddling with me. I'm trying to not think about it. I'm trying to focus on the yellow lab and cats I want in the future.

If you had this happen to you, how do you get through the sadness?

Pray that God would heal his heart, soul and mind.

At least that is what I would hope I would be doing.

Along with pondering cats, dogs, fleas, and litterboxes.

I've heard my AH tell me I couldn't take our Rottweiler.

I snuck into the house while he was passed out and took the dogs. They DO NOT stay with him when he is like that and if he wants to fight over it, he better pack a lunch because I am their Mommy and that is that.

I'm sorry you are missing your babies. I just couldn't imagine being without our 2 boxas and rotty.

I feel your pain, when I left my stbxah, I took the cats but I had to leave my two dogs behind. Technically, he had his dog for 8 months when I meet him and she became mine by default. We then adopted a dog together while we were married. Breaks my heart to leave my puppies behind but that was what I had to do as he wouldn't let me take them. It's even in our divorce agreement how the pets were divided up. There is no easy way of getting over it. I grieve the loss of them as much as I grieved the loss of my fantasy marriage.

I'm so sorry, Merry. I had to leave my cats when I left AXH. It was so hard. But it was DS and I getting away or none. I wish I could've thought of a way to sneak them away like BoxinRotz did hers and been brave enough to do so.

I got through it by telling DS stories about the silly kitties. I concentrated on getting to a place (location and financially) where DS and I could finally have our own cat. Now we have Sasuke, who thinks he's a dog: he plays fetch and walks on a leash. We're his just as much as he's ours and he can never be taken by AXH.

I'm so sorry, Merry. (((hugs)))

Take some comfort in knowing they are being cared for. You might think about volunteering at a local animal rescue. I know our local one has volunteers come in and play with cats, brush and pet, and help them get socialized with people.