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Very bad couple of weeks

Old 04-17-2014, 09:43 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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A law has been broken. The nude pics on your DD iPod are child pornography.
The police will investigate if shown the evidance.
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Old 04-18-2014, 12:20 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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I have so very little faith in the system but I do have faith in you. From my custody disputes to keep my XH from neglecting and abusing my children.

Please at least get some boost/ensure or something to nourish yourself when you feel you can't eat.

Perhaps see a dr for temporary help to sleep.

These things are vital needs.

I'd like to come kick the a$$ of that nasty boss!
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Old 04-18-2014, 01:20 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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While I too believe our system is very flawed, I find myself wanting to also defend it so others do not get completely discouraged.

I am not placing blame or shame on anyone but to an outsider (judge, case worker, law enforcement, etc), we have 2 parents who have a contentious relationship. Both have been arrested for DV (guilty or not), lots of he said, she said allegations, allegations of child abuse (physical)' now this allegation. This needs to be investigated. I agree supervised visits are a must until it is . But I have personally seen vindictive parents (not you WTBH) make all kinds of false allegations, destroy relationships, in some cases ruining careers, and reputations etc. The child has not confirmed to the therapist the suspicions and yet has been "questioned" twice already when she may not be mentally or emotionally ready to share anything yet.....which can be very damaging to her and damaging to a future conviction, if sought. IME, I seen too many therapists jump the gun, make the call before the child was emotionally ready and "comfortable" to discuss it. I have seen some that I KNOW were guilty walk because of this, and/or he state rushing for a prosecution, and have seen these sickos walk free.

It's unfortunate but it take times to build a solid case based on facts. Suspicions and allegations are not fact. The pictures will be evidence but a child needs to be emotionally ready to be honest and that is very difficult for most because whether we like it or not, most still love the abuser and feel a loyalty to them.

I know this post will not be a popular one but it's my experience and i pray the truth is revealed, justice is sought, and most importantly, your daughter gets the care she needs.

Sadly, often times the child's best interest is not the primary goal in our system. I have seen it and lived it myself. It's very sad!

Keeping you all in my prayers.
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Old 04-18-2014, 02:01 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Sending hugs and wishing you continued strength, WTBH. Lillamy's suggestion to call the sexual abuse hotline is a good one. I've also called the local line and being able to talk to some one about everything that we were going through with the interviews and visitations was... To say 'helpful' is an understatement.

You are not failing your children. You have been and are continuing to fight for them and their safety through incredibly daunting and terrifying circumstances. That is not failure; that, my dear friend, is Courage. Just take it a moment at a time. You'll all make it through this. (((((hugs)))))
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Old 04-18-2014, 02:42 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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WTBH. - please know I am saying your daughter's therapist did anything wrong. I would have no idea what your daughter has shared especially since she has been seeing her for 2 years and trust has already been established.

I just know how difficult these cases can be, unfortunately. I have a passion to see all sex abusers be put away (for life) and hate to see them "mishandled" from the start and sadly so many of them are. I know our system is flawed and very frustrating, especially when children are involved.

This must be so painful for you but we all know you are a loving, strong mother who will make it through this.
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Old 04-18-2014, 04:10 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Love me now- the therapist doesn't have a choice about reporting concerns even if DD 9 isn't ready to talk... and considering the bruises her dad's left on her (dd9) and the photos she clearly didn't take of herself on her iPod it seems to me that the system ought to be acting a lot more swiftly.

Now that xAH has lost me as a target for his abuse it makes perfect albeit sad sense that he would find a new target and quiet compliant dd9 was his pick.

The attitude that I realize the courts have that "oh this is contentious and a divorce so maybe someone is lying" is why abusers get away w abuse I believe
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Old 04-18-2014, 07:09 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Regarding DD6, consider that she might be acting out because you're a safe person to express her feelings with. She's young and doesn't have the language to express very complicated feelings just yet. Is she seeing the counselor also?
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Old 04-18-2014, 08:14 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Just needed to give you some (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) today. I have no words of wisdom for you, never went through what you are going through, just know I think about you and your girls everyday.
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Old 04-18-2014, 10:01 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Florence View Post
Regarding DD6, consider that she might be acting out because you're a safe person to express her feelings with. She's young and doesn't have the language to express very complicated feelings just yet. Is she seeing the counselor also?
Absolutely SPOT ON
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Old 04-18-2014, 10:15 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by littlesister1 View Post
Absolutely SPOT ON
I so totally agree with this. You do know "my story" and what I am going through. My kids couldn't talk to their dad, could only talk to him about the "weather". My kids always talked to me because they felt safe. Now my kids will only talk about the "weather", they hide their feeling, it erupts, they know you are the safe person, so they take it out on you.
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Old 04-18-2014, 10:18 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
I so totally agree with this. You do know "my story" and what I am going through. My kids couldn't talk to their dad, could only talk to him about the "weather". My kids always talked to me because they felt safe. Now my kids will only talk about the "weather", they hide their feeling, it erupts, they know you are the safe person, so they take it out on you.
Even now I have trouble talking with my dad, and he is 88 and getting frail, he still scares me!
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Old 04-18-2014, 10:57 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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wtb, it's terrifying and frustrating and probably seems unbelievable to all who don't inhabit the court system that visitation will go on indefinitely.

I have to echo lovemenow, though:

The physical evidence is that there are photos of the child on her iPod.
So the next question has to be Who took them?
You know and I know and the therapist knows who is the most likely culprit, but we can't arrest someone on likelihoods. We need some evidence and it will have to come from your child. When they say "no physical evidence", they mean no evidence of who took the photos.

CPS is the proper avenue for this. I know they're maddening and frustrating and terrible and I know you must just be about to jump out of your skin.

Just stay calm. Don't react at all. Be a safe place for your girls. That is the limit of your power for right now.

(((hugs)))
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Old 04-19-2014, 10:53 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Do you have a guardian ad litem appointed to protect the childrens interest?
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