how to be happy?

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04-16-2014, 06:12 PM

# 21 (permalink)

Mango blast

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To all of you!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres

Maybe it's a signal from my physical body saying "hey I need some attention!!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeriousKarma

Keepingthefaith, I know you've been going through a lot lately. Are you getting the rest you need? Taking care of yourself physically? Are you eating properly?

This is exactly what it was! Food's been okay, but slacking off and having the same few things because I'm physically tired. I'm magnesium deficient and have been out of that supplement for a couple of weeks. The snowball effect that started with one thing. Working on the physical problems and things are starting to turn around. Somehow forgot to make this a priority. The health store was out, so I'm eating a bunch of magnesium rich foods. I'll go to another store tomorrow or order it online.

I also did several other things suggested throughout the day, then coming here to read this list I was able to see I'm on the right track. For now, I'll accept where I'm at, take care of myself and know there are better days ahead. So much good info above. I want to quote and repost every one of them!

Pulling together the mental and physical! Thank you all so much for the various insight and ideas.

04-16-2014, 06:31 PM

# 22 (permalink)

Mango blast

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dunwith

My wife returned home from a 30 rehab last Thursday and is now 41 days sober. I am so happy for her but am constantly having a pity party for me. She continues to blame me for her entering treatment even though it was a volunteer center. Blames me for the hard time she is having with people knowing she entered rehab. I have been going to al-anon and trying to follow the leave them alone advice but my old controlling and co-dependent nature is popping up. She is just so distant. She won't allow me to ask simple questions or let me in on anything. Long story short we are disconnected which I'm sure is to be expected but I'm still as lonely as I was when she was drinking and gone to rehab. I am trying to fill the void with God but I just miss her so much. I know time tables don't exist but any advice is helpful.

I feel for you. That's so much like what my husband and I just went through. Finding the info on emotional abuse in one of the stickies at the top of this forum was a lifesaver for me, and this book:
Respect Me Rules

04-16-2014, 08:18 PM

# 23 (permalink)

Mango blast

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Dunwith, has she been going to counseling, meetings or any continuing recovery work?

04-17-2014, 05:37 PM

# 24 (permalink)

Hammer

Engineer Things; LOVE People

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 3,707

At the darkest midnight hour?

I say:

1. Praise God.
2. Praise God.
3. Praise God.

Spins my heart and mind right around towards "True North," like Captain Jack's Compass . . .

compass - YouTube

04-17-2014, 05:44 PM

# 25 (permalink)

Hammer

Engineer Things; LOVE People

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 3,707

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dunwith

Yeah Dunwith, we should talk.

You have some miles ahead of you.

04-22-2014, 11:49 AM

# 26 (permalink)

Dunwith

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Join Date: Apr 2014

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Ready to listen

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammer

Yeah Dunwith, we should talk.

You have some miles ahead of you.

Anytime

02-08-2015, 02:32 PM

# 27 (permalink)

Mango blast

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It's been a rough day. So very glad for this thread, so BUMP!

02-09-2015, 12:35 AM

# 28 (permalink)

LLLisa

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Join Date: May 2014

Posts: 235

Quote:

Originally Posted by keepingthefaith

When you're exhausted, wiped out, in a bad place or can't seem to move ahead, how do you find happiness, joy and a smile?

Interesting question. However, I have another question:

Do you HAVE to be happy?

Life is not all about happiness. There is always going to be grief, pain, sadness and all the other negative emotions.

Letting yourself feel the negative emotions and working through them, giving yourself the time, space and freedom to heal from the hurt can lead to inner strength and resolve. It leads to trust in yourself.

After I kicked my XAH out and for years before that, I was very, very unhappy. Time passing (lots of it) lots of self improvement and lots of forgiving myself and learning about who I am has led me to a space of peace and contentment with myself and my life.

Allowing yourself the feel the negative stuff is perfectly OK and perfectly normal.

You will reach the other side, in time. Just gotta be patient.

02-09-2015, 02:26 AM

# 29 (permalink)

Mango blast

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That's part of what this thread and the poem The Guest House remin me of.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...est-house.html

I'm okay with not being happy, but when my life is void of any joy for very long, it's good for me to take a look at what's going on. Is it my hormones, foods, vitamin D deficiency? Is it stress, old habits, controlling tendencies?

I'm okay with letting some days just be, to let any emotions come. Too many days that are predominantly blah or very down often signal something more going on.