Court Update
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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Court Update
Most of it went the way my litigator friends had prepared me. The short version: the judge granted the continuance but refused to schedule our next date as a meaningless "status," and instead scheduled it for full hearing on May 7. That's a pretty quick turnaround in the judicial world, so that's good.
The longer version: my ex has re-hired his horrible lawyer from before (the one who represented him for years until his parents decided to stop paying the bill). In the past she was always very bulldoggish and awful, but today she seemed a little more...reasonable. There were glimpses that she knows the demands my ex is making (I'll get to those in a minute) are ridiculous and he will never get them. Then again, she is unscrupulous and awful, and I don't trust her one bit.
My ex wants me to agree that he can move our daughters to another school. I understand he lives in a crazy expensive area, but our parenting agreement provides that we must consult AND AGREE on something like that. I made it crystal clear to his lawyer that I will NOT give him blanket authority to move them wherever, and furthermore, they are now old enough to have input into the situation, including the possibility of moving in with me and going to school up here. Bottom line is that this issue is totally separate from my petition to stop alimony payments to him, and he would have to file his own motion (which would make him look stupid, should he try to have a judge rule in his favor without even ATTEMPTING to discuss any of this with me).
The other big thing he wants is for me to continue paying the full amount of alimony as payment on the arrearage I owe from when I was unemployed. My response to his lawyer was that there is no way I will do that, there is no way the judge will order it, and she (the attorney) knows it. I also told her that I am not in a position to pay anything more than the statutory minimum on the arrearage.
Finally, I told her that frankly I have nothing left to lose and will gladly just let the judge decide all of this. I could not care less if we don't settle it on our own.
She made some other rumblings, about how my ex says I never told him I started a new job (which is utter crap and I have the correspondence to prove it), so I fully expect that when they make their filing in the next two weeks, it will contain some sort of counterclaim trying to have me held in contempt. They do that crap all the time.
I am still deeply, deeply upset. I came home and took a migraine pill...hoping it will help me take a short nap.
The longer version: my ex has re-hired his horrible lawyer from before (the one who represented him for years until his parents decided to stop paying the bill). In the past she was always very bulldoggish and awful, but today she seemed a little more...reasonable. There were glimpses that she knows the demands my ex is making (I'll get to those in a minute) are ridiculous and he will never get them. Then again, she is unscrupulous and awful, and I don't trust her one bit.
My ex wants me to agree that he can move our daughters to another school. I understand he lives in a crazy expensive area, but our parenting agreement provides that we must consult AND AGREE on something like that. I made it crystal clear to his lawyer that I will NOT give him blanket authority to move them wherever, and furthermore, they are now old enough to have input into the situation, including the possibility of moving in with me and going to school up here. Bottom line is that this issue is totally separate from my petition to stop alimony payments to him, and he would have to file his own motion (which would make him look stupid, should he try to have a judge rule in his favor without even ATTEMPTING to discuss any of this with me).
The other big thing he wants is for me to continue paying the full amount of alimony as payment on the arrearage I owe from when I was unemployed. My response to his lawyer was that there is no way I will do that, there is no way the judge will order it, and she (the attorney) knows it. I also told her that I am not in a position to pay anything more than the statutory minimum on the arrearage.
Finally, I told her that frankly I have nothing left to lose and will gladly just let the judge decide all of this. I could not care less if we don't settle it on our own.
She made some other rumblings, about how my ex says I never told him I started a new job (which is utter crap and I have the correspondence to prove it), so I fully expect that when they make their filing in the next two weeks, it will contain some sort of counterclaim trying to have me held in contempt. They do that crap all the time.
I am still deeply, deeply upset. I came home and took a migraine pill...hoping it will help me take a short nap.
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......and just for today....this chit is over.
now, you can concentrate on YOU for the rest of the day. good food, drink, breathe.
at least this part of it is over and never has to happen again.
and give yourself all the credit you deserve for making changes you needed. that was a precious gift to yourself.
all that remains is tidying up.
now, you can concentrate on YOU for the rest of the day. good food, drink, breathe.
at least this part of it is over and never has to happen again.
and give yourself all the credit you deserve for making changes you needed. that was a precious gift to yourself.
all that remains is tidying up.
How are you today, Wisconsin?
As far as his counterclaim....meh...you have the proof you need to deflect that. The girls' school sounds as if that will be a moot point because he will need to take you to court to deal with that.
Yay that there is a final date in sight, even if it is in May.
Sending hugs and prayers for strength and peace today.
As far as his counterclaim....meh...you have the proof you need to deflect that. The girls' school sounds as if that will be a moot point because he will need to take you to court to deal with that.
Yay that there is a final date in sight, even if it is in May.
Sending hugs and prayers for strength and peace today.
I am confused - are you divorced from this man? Are you guys in Court to renegotiate a divorce decree or is this just the ongoing battle of a current divorce?
Glad you got decent news. I sure hope this will wrap up for you in May.
Glad you got decent news. I sure hope this will wrap up for you in May.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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Redatlanta, we have been divorced for 5 years. The divorce decree stated that I would pay him alimony for five years. The payments (and child support) come directly from my paycheck, so I need an official new court order to cancel the alimony payments. Accordingly, I filed a motion in February (the day after my alimony obligations expired), and my ex-husband has requested numerous delays, which the judge has granted. Because the payments don't stop coming out of my paycheck until the judge actually rules on my motion and issues a new order, I am still paying him alimony even though my obligation is legally over. I owe him an arrearage from a period of time when I was unemployed, and I have requested that this alimony overpayment be applied to that arrearage.
Thank you all for the kind words. Someone on my prior thread reminded me that "I will be OK." It's such a simple thing, but I am SUCH an overthinker, overanalyzer, and I often miss the forest through the trees. No matter what my ex-husband tries to throw at me, no matter how many times I have to drive 50 miles down to court and back, I will be OK.
Thank you all for the kind words. Someone on my prior thread reminded me that "I will be OK." It's such a simple thing, but I am SUCH an overthinker, overanalyzer, and I often miss the forest through the trees. No matter what my ex-husband tries to throw at me, no matter how many times I have to drive 50 miles down to court and back, I will be OK.
Knowing that I still have to plan and execute my son's birthday party on May 10th (it's my issue that I feel this compulsion), I can say that May 7th is very close! It's funny how that perspective thing works!
Two and skinny with a chubby little face. I just read your story from when you came out from "lurking." I know it's been a couple of years since then. I'm sorry you're still dealing with such drama. Big hugs to you!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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I know, right?!? I agreed to it because he had been a stay at home dad, and my earning capacity was so much higher. He said he was going to go back to school and like a fool, I did not include that requirement in our settlement. Needless to say, he never went back to school and now 5 years later he still can't support himself. However, it is NO LONGER MY PROBLEM!
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