Miss Congeniality
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Miss Congeniality
I want world peace.
We are a bunch of codies here, and we want world peace, we want domestic peace, we want to be able to say, please don't call me a b!tch. We want peace.
How many of us just yelled just stop it right now. I love you. Stop this insanity?
It doesn't stop, but we want world peace.
So we search out forums, we just want someone to be nice to us.
Sorry about this, think sometimes that I slip to the crazy side.
I just really want world peace.
We are a bunch of codies here, and we want world peace, we want domestic peace, we want to be able to say, please don't call me a b!tch. We want peace.
How many of us just yelled just stop it right now. I love you. Stop this insanity?
It doesn't stop, but we want world peace.
So we search out forums, we just want someone to be nice to us.
Sorry about this, think sometimes that I slip to the crazy side.
I just really want world peace.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
It's easy to get overwhelmed with the bad stuff sometimes.
I try and remember there are good people in the world, and life is, on balance, well worth living.
World peace is a fine aim to aspire to, Amy.
I try and remember there are good people in the world, and life is, on balance, well worth living.
World peace is a fine aim to aspire to, Amy.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Originally Posted by amy55 
I just don't understand how if you try to be a good person that you are just eaten up.
It's not easy, but there is a middle ground where you can be a good person, and a nice person....who doesn't take any crap or abuse from others. It does not make you mean to stand up for yourself. It makes you strong, happy, and healthy.
Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, even those who do not deserve it, will get you hurt.... but I find that simply listening to my gut instinct can help me weed out those who are trustworthy from those who will take advantage.
Peace.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I don't think just good people are eaten up - all people can be. Depends on how much sh1t you allow someone to dump on you.
Name calling and the like doesn't work for me - I am so beyond that type of communication. There is only one person in my life that causes me stress currently and that is my business partner. I am working diligently to get rid of him.
Other than that I am relatively care free. I have cut loose several relationships in the past year, long time relationships. "Friends" lol, NOT. Like most codies I am a giver. For those who have exhausted my "giving" bank they are gone. I have gotten to where I can cut people off without giving it a second thought. I think this came about because of opening my business and dealing with two very, very sick parents at the same time. It just put things in perspective, and when I was giving it my all to take care of my parents and my business that people were still expecting me to give to them or to help them because they were in crisis (and not interested in my own). NO MORE!
Maybe you should take an inventory of the people in your life that cause you pain and GET RID OF THEM. Family members included - it doesn't have to be forever, but long enough for them to get that if they don't play nice and respectful you won't play at all.
Name calling and the like doesn't work for me - I am so beyond that type of communication. There is only one person in my life that causes me stress currently and that is my business partner. I am working diligently to get rid of him.
Other than that I am relatively care free. I have cut loose several relationships in the past year, long time relationships. "Friends" lol, NOT. Like most codies I am a giver. For those who have exhausted my "giving" bank they are gone. I have gotten to where I can cut people off without giving it a second thought. I think this came about because of opening my business and dealing with two very, very sick parents at the same time. It just put things in perspective, and when I was giving it my all to take care of my parents and my business that people were still expecting me to give to them or to help them because they were in crisis (and not interested in my own). NO MORE!
Maybe you should take an inventory of the people in your life that cause you pain and GET RID OF THEM. Family members included - it doesn't have to be forever, but long enough for them to get that if they don't play nice and respectful you won't play at all.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
The world is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people, Amy. Some have better coping tools than others, some are so hurt they take that out on everyone around them.
I agree with Dee, though. On the whole, life is very well worth living. When I'm feeling put upon by the world, I try to remember what I have to be grateful for....amazingly, that list is pretty darn long
I hope today dawns a little brighter for you, Amy!
I agree with Dee, though. On the whole, life is very well worth living. When I'm feeling put upon by the world, I try to remember what I have to be grateful for....amazingly, that list is pretty darn long
I hope today dawns a little brighter for you, Amy!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Amy---when I have been done wrong by someone in my most intimate circle--the place where my ego and sense of self is most involved--it feels like it is the WHOLE WORLD.
Then, when I am able to pull together the pieces of my wounded self and step back from the situation----I can see more clearly again. I can see that what seemed to overtake me was just a speck in the big wide universe.....I can see that there is a vast world where there is vast beauty and millions of good souls that inhabit it.
Amy--you have just had a really painful "slam-dunk". You will reconstitute...and the sun is going to come out for you again....you'll see.
When I saw your thread title--under the circumstances--that is so FUNNY!!
I laughed so hard that I peed a little bit in my pants (but don't tell anyone else).
dandylion
Then, when I am able to pull together the pieces of my wounded self and step back from the situation----I can see more clearly again. I can see that what seemed to overtake me was just a speck in the big wide universe.....I can see that there is a vast world where there is vast beauty and millions of good souls that inhabit it.
Amy--you have just had a really painful "slam-dunk". You will reconstitute...and the sun is going to come out for you again....you'll see.
When I saw your thread title--under the circumstances--that is so FUNNY!!
I laughed so hard that I peed a little bit in my pants (but don't tell anyone else).
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I tried so hard this year to try to apply the rules that I have learned here. I'm sure that some of you figured out that my biggest antagonist is my daughter. So I tried total detachment from the drama queen problems and to just love her for who she is, and I will continue to do that
I just went through about a year of her calling me so that she could totally destroy someone and she would want me to agree with her that she was right. I used all the right "tools" from here. I did not agree with her, nor disagree with her. I took the whole drama of the situation out of the situation. I validated her feelings, but I also showed respect for the other person that the "drama" was against. I suggested that perhaps maybe they were having a bad day, or would gently suggest that perhaps this is the way they were used to doing things. Then I would suggest that if she didn't like it that she should detach herself from the situation and do the next right thing for herself. (Meaning - do not go on facebook and smear this person) (lol). Then I would ask if there was a way that she could still be involved with this person, while being protective of herself and her children. If she could, then do it, if not, then back away, detach. I told her that by letting all these things upset her that she was taking the poison hoping they would be hurt by it while killing her self. I told her to stop that stuff. The only thing that she could look at was to what she could change, and that she could not change another person.
She started calling me more frequently. Told me that she was doing what I suggested and that it was working and that she needed more of my "peace". In a way it sounded ironic to me, because I tried my hardest to get the right tools to learn how to deal with her. Then her phone calls stopped for no reason whatsoever. She just stopped calling me.
Then I start getting phone calls from relatives of mine asking if my daughter and I are speaking, I tell them yes, and then they want to know why they are now on her list of people to call with her drama, that they felt relieved when we were talking because I was the one who was dealing with it.
It was my daughters smear campaign against me. I do need to cut her out of my life. It's hurts that I need to make this decision.
So I don't know, what was it? Is it because I wasn't feeding into her drama, that I was asking her to take responsibility for her own feelings, and her own reactions? She said she wanted to have the "peace" that I found.
And sorry for all of this rambling, I am still sick, head is still in a fog, not thinking clearly, but I feel safe here talking about things.
I just went through about a year of her calling me so that she could totally destroy someone and she would want me to agree with her that she was right. I used all the right "tools" from here. I did not agree with her, nor disagree with her. I took the whole drama of the situation out of the situation. I validated her feelings, but I also showed respect for the other person that the "drama" was against. I suggested that perhaps maybe they were having a bad day, or would gently suggest that perhaps this is the way they were used to doing things. Then I would suggest that if she didn't like it that she should detach herself from the situation and do the next right thing for herself. (Meaning - do not go on facebook and smear this person) (lol). Then I would ask if there was a way that she could still be involved with this person, while being protective of herself and her children. If she could, then do it, if not, then back away, detach. I told her that by letting all these things upset her that she was taking the poison hoping they would be hurt by it while killing her self. I told her to stop that stuff. The only thing that she could look at was to what she could change, and that she could not change another person.
She started calling me more frequently. Told me that she was doing what I suggested and that it was working and that she needed more of my "peace". In a way it sounded ironic to me, because I tried my hardest to get the right tools to learn how to deal with her. Then her phone calls stopped for no reason whatsoever. She just stopped calling me.
Then I start getting phone calls from relatives of mine asking if my daughter and I are speaking, I tell them yes, and then they want to know why they are now on her list of people to call with her drama, that they felt relieved when we were talking because I was the one who was dealing with it.
It was my daughters smear campaign against me. I do need to cut her out of my life. It's hurts that I need to make this decision.
So I don't know, what was it? Is it because I wasn't feeding into her drama, that I was asking her to take responsibility for her own feelings, and her own reactions? She said she wanted to have the "peace" that I found.
And sorry for all of this rambling, I am still sick, head is still in a fog, not thinking clearly, but I feel safe here talking about things.
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