New here and have to get some things off my chest....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Its hard to give up on your investment, a long term relationship is one. Just like the stock market, we always hope that things will change and we will regain what we initially put in.
While being co dependent, it is also human to worry about someone that you know is a danger to themselves. In as much as you may be frightened about leaving and starting over, are you equally frightened about what will happen to him if you aren't there?
SR is a great place to get help, feedback and just to vent to other people who are in your same position.
While being co dependent, it is also human to worry about someone that you know is a danger to themselves. In as much as you may be frightened about leaving and starting over, are you equally frightened about what will happen to him if you aren't there?
SR is a great place to get help, feedback and just to vent to other people who are in your same position.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 81
I'm still with my AH because I'm afraid I'll not get full custody and I'm not sure we can make it on my meager paycheck. I'm also just too exhausted after only a little over a year of marriage. And only one baby, thank God. The women who do this and have been married for decades, wow just how do you all do it? But let's just imagine that sweet taste of freedom, the peaceful sleep, the clear mind. Do you miss who you used to be? So good luck to all whether leaving, staying, or in between!
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by paige73 
I haven't been to Al-Anon....I'm so afraid people will think I'm crazy for still being with him and I'm embarrassed beyond belief.
Lotta idiots there.
I would know this.
Will save a chair for you.
Welcome Home, btw.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Hey paige! I'm still married to an alcoholic too so if you're feeling crazy about that, I'm crazy too! 
My AH is about to get creamed at work tonight. I don't know what's going to happen but it's just ridiculous that he would even think his fluffy feather pillow would turn into a sac of lead and be hit over the head with it but it's coming. I bet you they walk him off the job tonight with a few days of street time a.k.a. non paid vacation. You don't want to go to work... you stay tha fawk home then! A$$hole. That's what A stands for when I say AH.
Welcome to the nut house where everyone says you're crazy but you're not!
My AH is about to get creamed at work tonight. I don't know what's going to happen but it's just ridiculous that he would even think his fluffy feather pillow would turn into a sac of lead and be hit over the head with it but it's coming. I bet you they walk him off the job tonight with a few days of street time a.k.a. non paid vacation. You don't want to go to work... you stay tha fawk home then! A$$hole. That's what A stands for when I say AH.
Welcome to the nut house where everyone says you're crazy but you're not!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,544
It's my turn to get something off my chest now. This is going to sound like the stupidest thing to be aggravated and upset about. Yes, I have quit drinking since St. Patrickas Day. I don't go through withdrawls of the physical kind anymore. Just the aggravating emotional kinds. I am sitting here upset and wanting to have a wine Well this is a real problem to me. I just get so aggravated about nothing. Cry over anything, I think I am just going to take a shower and go to bed......it's only 7:50
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 84
Hi Paige. I have been with my AH for twenty years. I have health problems now but I think the reason I have waited so long to leave is because it has taken me this long to get mad. I'm mad that his immature, selfish behavior is ruining the lives of my kids and me. I'm working hard to get out fast, before the DUI, before financial ruin, before another kid runs away.you will get mad adventually
Alanon is great. You can talk about life with the A and not be judged.
Alanon is great. You can talk about life with the A and not be judged.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Originally Posted by redatlanta
Its hard to give up on your investment, a long term relationship is one. Just like the stock market, we always hope that things will change and we will regain what we initially put in.
While being co dependent, it is also human to worry about someone that you know is a danger to themselves. In as much as you may be frightened about leaving and starting over, are you equally frightened about what will happen to him if you aren't there?
SR is a great place to get help, feedback and just to vent to other people who are in your same position.
While being co dependent, it is also human to worry about someone that you know is a danger to themselves. In as much as you may be frightened about leaving and starting over, are you equally frightened about what will happen to him if you aren't there?
SR is a great place to get help, feedback and just to vent to other people who are in your same position.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Nevada
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by atalose
When the pain of staying becomes greater than your fear of leaving is when you will make a decision for yourself
Been with my AH 24 years and I know without a doubt that the time is now. He hasn't been here for 6 weeks and guess what? Sons and I don't miss him. We chatted about it recently and we miss the him he used to be, the one we catch glimpses of during short bouts of sobriety. For me comes down to conditioning and intermittent reinforcement on both sides that keeps me going round and round, but I decided it was time to get off the merry go round. He's not the person he used to be, I know that. For that matter, by the grace of God, Al Anon, and reading on SR, neither am I.
Life is a process that you learn along the way. Don't be too harsh on yourself, we've all been there, done that, and out shirts are threadbare.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I couldn't have left without the support and wisdom I got at Alanon. It wasn't easy or as fast as I'd liked, but I learned I had a problem and when I dealt with it, I was able to cut the ties to this miserable relationship. I hope you check it out.
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