Faith444

Friday blues:

I want to contact my A-ex really bad! It's Friday, I wanna say, Oh forget everything for 24 hours, come over and spend the night with me. I wish I could do that!

The only things that stops me is the text I saw to his ex-gf saying, "I miss you." And that he told me he loves her.

I hate that I have to keep thinking about the UNHAPPY FACTS to avoid making myself even MORE unhappy!

Hopefully I'll find someone else to flirt with soon, or go on a date with or something... I have womanly needs In addition to co-dependence!

lillamy

Yeah, it sucks -- but it is what it is. And you're doing the right thing!

I wouldn't be in such a hurry to find someone else to flirt with -- find your footing and make sure you've figured out WHY you fell for an A in the first place... otherwise, you just risk falling into another dysfunctional relationship...

Ofelie

Stay busy. Stuff your time with everything you can, because those long quiet moments where you have nothing to keep your brain occupied are gonna be the hardest. You don't want that guy...really. Why, oh why would you want a guy who wants someone else? You don't. What you are wanting is some companionship...you are wanting affection, attention, which is perfectly natural. But honey you want it from someone genuinely capable of giving it...and you want to be able to return it in a healthy way. You have to keep reminding yourself of the bad, so that you don't sort of idealize the good stuff with him. You know? Its so easy to forget the bad. But, that doesn't mean you have to obsess over it. Today, tonight, this weekend, treat yourself to something just for you. Whether its a cheesy horror movie marathon, or spend the weekend shopping at garage sales. Museums, art fairs, theater in the park, whatever!! Cleaning house, baking, gardening, anything. Keep busy. It helps SO MUCH. And when you start to lose your will and want to text him...come here...put it all down here instead.
And someday soon, you will find someone to flirt with.

Pia

Hi Faith444- Like Ofelie mentioned stay busy, You don't want someone that wants someone else and especially also is a A.
This road is never smooth. Things never make sense and you hurt yourself emotionally more that anything in my opinion.

Ofelie

And hey if that urge gets super terribly unbearably bad and you are about to cave...pm me. I quit sleeping ages ago, so I am ALWAYS up. I will talk you down off that ugly cliff!

FireSprite

So take the focus off the unhappy (i.e. HIM) and turn it back around.

What are you going to do FOR YOU this weekend?

Lunch with friends? A mani/pedi? A marathon of your favorite TV shows on Netflix with your favorite comfort foods? A trip to a park or museum? A long soak in a hot tub with a good book? A trip to the gym? Visit with family? Doing some random acts of kindness for others?

Take your power back - every time your thoughts stray to him, turn it back to you & do something nice for yourself.

itsmylifenow

I totally am feeling the same way. What the hell is it about the darn weekends?

I just found out my xabf slept with a friend a night after being with me....and he's making plans to meet another woman tomorrow night to catch the sunset.

I shouldn't care..I really shouldn't. I'm wasting my life thinking about what he's doing with his. I'm trying to figure out what to do tonight myself. A part of me wants to just chill out alone but another part wants to find someone to hang out with.. Then another part (are there really that many parts?) wants to just be with him to hang out with but of course, that's not an option. But, he's the one I have fun with...although not anymore because he lied to me.

Sorry to jack your thread here... I'm in a state of flux as well and feel a bit unsure.