OT - court issues, need encouragement
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
OT - court issues, need encouragement
So XH moved back to my country after spending 2 1/2 years abroad only to go to the courts & apply for joint custody.
I have had the children in my care for 7 years.
He returned in July 2013 & it still hasn't been resolved.
I thought we were getting close to resolve when my lawyer notifies me that the court have called for a hearing as it has been taking too long.
I agree it has dragged on & it is through no fault of my own.
So now we have to go to a judge settlement conference, 1 step before hearing.
I am frustrated.
I have minded my own business & got on with life with my kids.
They have excelled & the proof is out there for all to see.
I feel frustrated that I have to constantly prove myself to the world when really I shouldn't have to.
I am offering the children more time with their Dad but I want it done with the least amount of disruption to our very full on routine/schedule.
Also what is this going to cost.
I've been fighting child support for the past 7 years & at present in a couple of months things will improve financially for me.
The thought of high court costs alongside my low income (I work 30 hrs so I can take kids to all their activities) makes me sick.
Why am I having to prove myself over & over & why am I having to do this 7 years down the track.
I AM A GOOD MUM.
Just needed to vent really & would love some encouragement if anyone wishes to send some.
I have had the children in my care for 7 years.
He returned in July 2013 & it still hasn't been resolved.
I thought we were getting close to resolve when my lawyer notifies me that the court have called for a hearing as it has been taking too long.
I agree it has dragged on & it is through no fault of my own.
So now we have to go to a judge settlement conference, 1 step before hearing.
I am frustrated.
I have minded my own business & got on with life with my kids.
They have excelled & the proof is out there for all to see.
I feel frustrated that I have to constantly prove myself to the world when really I shouldn't have to.
I am offering the children more time with their Dad but I want it done with the least amount of disruption to our very full on routine/schedule.
Also what is this going to cost.
I've been fighting child support for the past 7 years & at present in a couple of months things will improve financially for me.
The thought of high court costs alongside my low income (I work 30 hrs so I can take kids to all their activities) makes me sick.
Why am I having to prove myself over & over & why am I having to do this 7 years down the track.
I AM A GOOD MUM.
Just needed to vent really & would love some encouragement if anyone wishes to send some.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
((((hugs)))) rosie.
You know... paying child support is the absolute minimum a parent can do. The court will hopefully see that he hasn't even been able / willing to do that for his children and take that into consideration. (The judge saw it with AXH and not only ordered that he pay but that it be retroactive to the month I left.)
My only advice/experience: At the conference keep it all about the kids. What is best for the kids and why.
You are a good mom!
Your XH has his work cut out for him showing that he's a good dad when there's been a 2.5 year lapse in visits or support.
Wishing you continued strength! Hang in there!
You know... paying child support is the absolute minimum a parent can do. The court will hopefully see that he hasn't even been able / willing to do that for his children and take that into consideration. (The judge saw it with AXH and not only ordered that he pay but that it be retroactive to the month I left.)
My only advice/experience: At the conference keep it all about the kids. What is best for the kids and why.
You are a good mom!
Your XH has his work cut out for him showing that he's a good dad when there's been a 2.5 year lapse in visits or support.Wishing you continued strength! Hang in there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Yesterday I was notified by my lawyer that the settlement conference had been set for 29th April, less than 2 weeks away.
The date couldn't be worse.
Even my lawyer can't attend because she's in high court & tried to change it & judge told her she'd have to get someone else to fill in!
Also this particular day is in the school holidays & is the very one day I am the only staff member on site due to staff on annual leave. I had already arranged childcare to enable me to work extra hours to cover the shortage of staff. I told the boss who was not sympathetic at all & told me if I couldn't do it they'd be forced to shut the business down.
Then I got a phone call from my daughter's school saying she was in the sick bay & needed collecting & this didn't go down well with the boss as we were short staffed then too. I went to collect her but was expected to find care & return to work.
Talk about stress.
Now the whole court thing is affecting my job too.
My lawyer is going to try for an adjournment based on work circumstances but there is no guarantee I'll get it if they wouldn't change it for my lawyer.
I'm annoyed that I've come this far yet can't even have my lawyer present & the day they have chosen is the worse possible one.
It's not me that has held up the whole case, its the XH lawyer.
I am struggling to hold down a job, raise & be responsible for my children & go through a court case.
I feel awful.
Luckily Easter is approaching which coincides with school holidays & I have managed to save enough for 2 nights away with my children.
Can't wait to escape away from all this.
Please pray for me to have the strength to deal with all of this.
The date couldn't be worse.
Even my lawyer can't attend because she's in high court & tried to change it & judge told her she'd have to get someone else to fill in!
Also this particular day is in the school holidays & is the very one day I am the only staff member on site due to staff on annual leave. I had already arranged childcare to enable me to work extra hours to cover the shortage of staff. I told the boss who was not sympathetic at all & told me if I couldn't do it they'd be forced to shut the business down.
Then I got a phone call from my daughter's school saying she was in the sick bay & needed collecting & this didn't go down well with the boss as we were short staffed then too. I went to collect her but was expected to find care & return to work.
Talk about stress.
Now the whole court thing is affecting my job too.
My lawyer is going to try for an adjournment based on work circumstances but there is no guarantee I'll get it if they wouldn't change it for my lawyer.
I'm annoyed that I've come this far yet can't even have my lawyer present & the day they have chosen is the worse possible one.
It's not me that has held up the whole case, its the XH lawyer.
I am struggling to hold down a job, raise & be responsible for my children & go through a court case.
I feel awful.
Luckily Easter is approaching which coincides with school holidays & I have managed to save enough for 2 nights away with my children.
Can't wait to escape away from all this.
Please pray for me to have the strength to deal with all of this.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Sending prayers for you.
In the midst of all this, have you been able to put yourself first at all? What seems to help me most is to have a few moments outside first thing in the morning to talk to God and to listen. Before I do anything else at all.
Take good care of yourself first. So hard to do; so vital. (((rosie)))
In the midst of all this, have you been able to put yourself first at all? What seems to help me most is to have a few moments outside first thing in the morning to talk to God and to listen. Before I do anything else at all.
Take good care of yourself first. So hard to do; so vital. (((rosie)))
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Rosie, please don't look at the conference as a judgement of your parenting, because it's not. It's been brought by your husband and the court has to look at it.
It's to your advantage that the whole thing is resolved during the judge's conference, and I'm sure your lawyer will make sure the judge knows how difficult it's been for you parenting alone. If you can work out a system to allow your XH to take some of the burden off your shoulders, I'm sure that will help.
It's to your advantage that the whole thing is resolved during the judge's conference, and I'm sure your lawyer will make sure the judge knows how difficult it's been for you parenting alone. If you can work out a system to allow your XH to take some of the burden off your shoulders, I'm sure that will help.
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