Just an Update
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Just an Update
Hello everyone. Well, I am a few weeks into being separated from my AH. He just today signed the agreement I am having an attorney put into place for our divorce. I am excited about that, I just want it to be done!
My girls are doing pretty good. Both are in counseling and that is wonderful. My little daughter who is 8 just met hers last week, she is AMAZING. It is just like it's meant to be. The counselor also has an eight year old daughter, and she is also going through a divorce. My daughter opened right up to her and loves her. What a relief!
We have solved the problem of him coming over too. He is allergic to cats, so guess what we have adopted?! My sister volunteers for a shelter and we went to visit last weekend and decided to adopt a kitty, or he adopted us I guess I should say. He literally jumped into my older daughter's arms LOL. So, XAH is allergic and also HATES cats and cat hair, so that should do the trick! I am not only doing this because of my XAH. I love kitties and would have had one already had he not been allergic. Just killing two birds with one stone. Kids are so excited and have named him Charley. Hoping he does ok w/our dog and guinea pig. If anyone has any transition advise on adding a cat I am all ears...and prayers LOL.
We go pick him up next Saturday b/c we will be out of town this weekend for the last cheerleading competition of the season!!!!! I am VERY excited about that! We live and breathe cheer during this time so it will be a relief to be out of comp season! This last one is in Nashville, TN and there is great shopping and we are going with good friends who are fun, so it should be a good time!
It's a roller coaster but each day is getting a little easier. I literally have not cried about him at all. I realize I truly have no feelings left for him at all. Wow. His cousin overdosed on pills and booze two nights ago and died. I hope he can see what that crap will do to you. That is awful.
Please continue to pray for my girls. I know it is a big transition for them but they are strong and in counseling and I love them to pieces, hoping these things get them through it.
Thank you for reading and all of your support.
God Bless!
My girls are doing pretty good. Both are in counseling and that is wonderful. My little daughter who is 8 just met hers last week, she is AMAZING. It is just like it's meant to be. The counselor also has an eight year old daughter, and she is also going through a divorce. My daughter opened right up to her and loves her. What a relief!
We have solved the problem of him coming over too. He is allergic to cats, so guess what we have adopted?! My sister volunteers for a shelter and we went to visit last weekend and decided to adopt a kitty, or he adopted us I guess I should say. He literally jumped into my older daughter's arms LOL. So, XAH is allergic and also HATES cats and cat hair, so that should do the trick! I am not only doing this because of my XAH. I love kitties and would have had one already had he not been allergic. Just killing two birds with one stone. Kids are so excited and have named him Charley. Hoping he does ok w/our dog and guinea pig. If anyone has any transition advise on adding a cat I am all ears...and prayers LOL.
We go pick him up next Saturday b/c we will be out of town this weekend for the last cheerleading competition of the season!!!!! I am VERY excited about that! We live and breathe cheer during this time so it will be a relief to be out of comp season! This last one is in Nashville, TN and there is great shopping and we are going with good friends who are fun, so it should be a good time!
It's a roller coaster but each day is getting a little easier. I literally have not cried about him at all. I realize I truly have no feelings left for him at all. Wow. His cousin overdosed on pills and booze two nights ago and died. I hope he can see what that crap will do to you. That is awful.
Please continue to pray for my girls. I know it is a big transition for them but they are strong and in counseling and I love them to pieces, hoping these things get them through it.
Thank you for reading and all of your support.
God Bless!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Yay Charley! Just transition him into the house slowly. Put the cat in a room and let the other pets sniff through the door. I've had a lot of cats through life and have never had any problems getting them to transition if they were introduced slowly.
Congrats on all of your big moves.
Congrats on all of your big moves.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
My goodness you and your girls sound like all are doing wonderfully! Im so glad you all are adopting a kitty...I LOVE cats..and dogs..just love animals period. Little animals do a lot towards helping people heal; here's hoping your kitty does that for you guys!
For the sake of your girls, I'll pray your X will make the comparison of his addiction to what killed his cousin before it's too late.
For the sake of your girls, I'll pray your X will make the comparison of his addiction to what killed his cousin before it's too late.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 66
Wonderful news Hopeful! I also have a freshly-signed agreement!! Just waiting for that final date in front of a judge. I'm glad to hear you are strong/not crying.
I've had an emotional few weeks, whether the realization he has been with other women (need to worry about myself, not knowing his actions/controlling him), and also while the signed agreement was something I worked so hard for, the finality of it did send me a bit over the edge. Major crying, destroyed my wedding dress, etc etc hahaha.
Better now, so realize I had to allow those feelings afterall.
I may be bugging you in a few weeks about daughter and counseling - mine's 4 and doing great, but still need to go through the he-moves-out by court order date. And I feel like that's when her day to day will really change.
Keep on trucking lady!!
I've had an emotional few weeks, whether the realization he has been with other women (need to worry about myself, not knowing his actions/controlling him), and also while the signed agreement was something I worked so hard for, the finality of it did send me a bit over the edge. Major crying, destroyed my wedding dress, etc etc hahaha.
Better now, so realize I had to allow those feelings afterall.
I may be bugging you in a few weeks about daughter and counseling - mine's 4 and doing great, but still need to go through the he-moves-out by court order date. And I feel like that's when her day to day will really change.
Keep on trucking lady!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Yay Hopeful! Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you're doing so well. Give Charley a big scratch behind the ears for me.
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ********. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ********. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
So jealous! I miss having kitties!! I love my dogs but I grew up with having cats. Like your XAH, my AH is deathly allergic to cats to the point where he could be in the hospital having an asthma attack. He's also deathly allergic to horses and guess what? My mom has a farm in VA where she has cats and horses, LOL. Needless to say, my AH hasn't been to visit my mom's house since we first got married!
So happy for you guys and the cheer stuff! We are done traveling for tennis right now because my son hurt his shoulder and is now doing PT for a rotator cuff problem. I'm loving the break from the tournaments schedule since tennis goes ALL YEAR long and the biggest break we get is in August.
Hugs to you and your ability to move on and move forward! Keep us posted!
So happy for you guys and the cheer stuff! We are done traveling for tennis right now because my son hurt his shoulder and is now doing PT for a rotator cuff problem. I'm loving the break from the tournaments schedule since tennis goes ALL YEAR long and the biggest break we get is in August.
Hugs to you and your ability to move on and move forward! Keep us posted!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Thank you all! And LadyScribbler....that is hilarious! Love it, I am going to print it out for sure!
Today my XAH goes to the funeral of his cousin. I hope he is scared that it could be him one day if he continues down the road he had chosen.
God Bless to all of you!
Today my XAH goes to the funeral of his cousin. I hope he is scared that it could be him one day if he continues down the road he had chosen.
God Bless to all of you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
Hopeful4,
I am so glad to hear your update. My oldest is 8 too so I relate very much. I am also in the divorce process although AH is still living with us through the process until it gets decided who will go where. It's great to hear the kids have adjusted to it. That is my biggest fear. You sound positive and healthy. Keep us the great work! You are and inspiration to those of us not quite there yet.
I am so glad to hear your update. My oldest is 8 too so I relate very much. I am also in the divorce process although AH is still living with us through the process until it gets decided who will go where. It's great to hear the kids have adjusted to it. That is my biggest fear. You sound positive and healthy. Keep us the great work! You are and inspiration to those of us not quite there yet.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by Florence 
Right? The secret behind the "cat lady" phenomenon.
I think Liz needs to open a horse and cat rescue.
I think Liz needs to open a horse and cat rescue.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I am fully prepared to become a cat lady. Come on, ive got a guinea pig, a dog, and soon a lovely kitty. I need no man LOL! Oliver the dog had to get yearly shots today, the vet cat was there he just smelled the cats rear, no issues. However, that is one tame and lazy cat LOL.
Thank you all so much for your encouragement, you are all wonderful!
XXX
Thank you all so much for your encouragement, you are all wonderful!
XXX
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
So glad things are looking up for you and the girls. I've been reading and not posting a lot these last several weeks. So happy to hear you have a new weapon... I mean... new kitty to love! 
I can remember leaving my first marriage and not shedding a tear because of what he did and how he let the pills just absolutely decimate us. I loved that man but I mourned him and the loss of our marriage 18 months before I left. I remember crying myself to sleep over not having him while he was right there. He still thinks to this day I left like a cold hearted person. What he'll never know is how much I fought to keep it going and how he failed me and our children. So I know exactly how you felt, leaving and not shedding a tear. You had already done cried your eyes out.
I wish you peace and so much happiness on your new adventure in life!
Originally Posted by hopeful4
It's a roller coaster but each day is getting a little easier. I literally have not cried about him at all. I realize I truly have no feelings left for him at all. Wow.
I wish you peace and so much happiness on your new adventure in life!
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