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Got a text NOT meant for me...

Old 04-02-2014, 09:22 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Though I'm sorry you got this text, my first thought was "document it" and you're a pro at that. What a jackazz

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:36 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Guess he won't be needing my help with a personal ad after all... LOL!

I actually REALLY hope this is for real and that he has a distraction but sadly I think that he's still fairly obsessed with me (between this text and the one a few days ago where he cycles from the deluded belief I still want him to telling me how pathetic I am all in one text, it seems he's just wanting a rise...)

Something like either of these texts would've made me cry in the past but now they're more humorous than anything and my only inclination besides copying it as a screen shot and saving it, is having a desire to reply with some snarky comment about how lucky his new "love" is...

But I won't! Don't worry!
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:58 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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When I was getting divorced I had a similar situation with my not-as-of-yet-ex-husband. I think he purposely did it to rile me up and I completely ignored it. Nothing good would have come from getting into it with him - and besides, I actually really didn't care!

I don't know your history with him, but it sounds like you're better off without him, so take the opportunity to be grateful that you're not with him anymore!
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:16 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
I'm not bothered enough to respond. Just saved it in the "proof of texting me about things other than the kids" photo album on my phone and that's that...
Perfect! I was just going to say that this cannot hurt your custody case!

I repeat: What a piece of work.

L
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:23 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Count me in the group who think he texted you this on purpose. What a tool.
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:25 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
Guess he won't be needing my help with a personal ad after all... LOL!

I actually REALLY hope this is for real and that he has a distraction but sadly I think that he's still fairly obsessed with me (between this text and the one a few days ago where he cycles from the deluded belief I still want him to telling me how pathetic I am all in one text, it seems he's just wanting a rise...)

Something like either of these texts would've made me cry in the past but now they're more humorous than anything and my only inclination besides copying it as a screen shot and saving it, is having a desire to reply with some snarky comment about how lucky his new "love" is...

But I won't! Don't worry!
Glad you are not responding, but prepare for him to up the stakes again with some other ridiculous thing. He is an abuser and wants to abuse you regardless of the method.
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:03 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Yep, best reaction is no reaction.

I know from personal experience, that if you don't respond to something they think will send you over the edge-it makes them crazier than they already are....(if possible)
I agree-he is a PUKE!!
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:10 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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puke.
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:42 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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This guy never fails to amaze me.

My exNPD, AFTER ME, dated two other women in a row who share my first (real, not Florence) name. I used to get texts meant for his new paramours. Occasionally I'd text back, "Thanks, but I'm not interested." HA.

I call his wife Florence III. It sounds mean, but I figured there's no other way to tell us apart.

The guy is a puke.
You are what you eat?
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:48 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LivingLife4Me View Post
oh. ick. Good luck to her! Gross!! Sue
+1, sums it up for me too
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:51 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Totally agree with Suki xxx
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:13 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MissFixit View Post
Count me in the group who think he texted you this on purpose. What a tool.
Ditto
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:21 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I vote totally fake, too. But even if it isn't, I'm sorry for her luck.
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:26 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by XXXXXXXXXX View Post
puke.
Yep.. I just threw up a little in my mouth..
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:29 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:26 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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THIS GUY IS
puke,
ick
pathetic,
putz (my fav.)
whiney douchebag
psycho
Jack azz
piece of work
a tool
and the best of the A: abuser

i think i summed everyone in here...

best REACTION is NO REACTION...

(trying to find that puking guy...)
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:34 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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wantstobehealthy, what if the text was an honest mistake? Are you 100% ready to move on? I've read many of your back posts. I could relate to some but I have never had to be afraid of my husband.
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Old 04-03-2014, 05:42 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I've had similar texts, usually late at night. I've never replied, and don't really see it's even worth wondering whether the texts were meant for me, another, or sent as a manipulation, or whatever.
That would only be wasting my thoughts, but when you try not to think of something, you usually end up thinking of it!! I turn off my phone at night now when my kids are with me, and I always sleep well.
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:23 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by maggies View Post
wantstobehealthy, what if the text was an honest mistake? Are you 100% ready to move on? I've read many of your back posts. I could relate to some but I have never had to be afraid of my husband.
Im waiting for my divorce to be final and have been ready to "move on" for a long time..

Not sure where there is an "honest mistake" in this...

Do you mean, did he accidentally send me a text that he didn't intend for me to see?

Whether it's for me or someone else, one thing is clear... He is pathetic and angry and seeking a new source of narcissistic supply.

As far as you stating you haven't had reason to be afraid of your AH, I think that your AH kicking an animal, being paranoid (as you stated he was) and being drunk almost all the time are all reasons to be fearful of his spiraling out of control behavior and I hope you will take steps to ensure you and especially your 4 yr old are safe.
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Old 04-05-2014, 12:51 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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I also had a text "not meant for me" about 3 or 4 weeks after my XA set me free. He told someone that he had seen me before I went to work that morning and that he felt like she did with her recent X. He realized he was "no longer attracted to" me. I wish I'd known SR and had more Al Anon step work done back then. I felt very ugly right before, right after, and for a long time after our break up. It took me months to even begin to stop (Is that an oxymoron?) depending on his opinion of me as truth. In that moment I did respond to his text and gave him a lot of power. Whether he meant to send it or not doesn't matter. His actions showed that he wasn't attracted to me, nor respectful of me, nor loving, etc. I was still "going to the hardware store for bread" there.

I do have issues with my opinion of my appearance, but that's something I need to work on so that I don't have to be dependent on anyone for that again.

I'm glad to see that you, WTBH are not letting this break you down and if you would have acted in a self-damaging way about your text in the past, then I am very happy for you and the progress you've made.

And really, why would an A who's pretending to get sober on his own be attracted to someone who is pissed at him, just woke up, and is telling him that she doesn't want him bringing anyone he's dating around their kid unless he's been dating them for 6 months. (My scenario). Yay! More rules from someone who keeps cramping his A style.
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