christinastar10

Hello,

I got the call from my XABF. He was drinking all last night and was a no show to work today. He is really drunk and admitted he has had thoughts of dying. He called me to say he is sorry and wants me to help him get check in a in patient program. I'm on my way over to his place in fear he will hurt himself.

Please pray for him!

BoxinRotz

He's all for the help til he sobers up and forgets. I've heard it so many times. Been so close to going to rehab or counceling and then he can't remember WTF you are talking about the next day. lol

Good Luck. I think it's another free ride on the crazy train though. If he really wanted it he'd call a rehab facility instead of his XGF.

Oh and many prayers that you get through this without ripping your hair out and wake up tomorrow without a sorry alcoholic on your hip.

P.S. I thought this was kinda harsh so I went back to read a few of your threads about this dude and he needs to go and you need to stay the hell away from him and take care of your son! He's a big boy. He'll find his way out of it! They all do eventually.

christinastar10

Boxin,

Thanks for the heads up. He scared the crap out of me. So that's why I'm going. I'll let u know what happens.

BoxinRotz

You can go. I'm sure you are scared but remember, tomorrow you will be the assholio. lol

AlcoholicLove

I agree-he'll be sorry until he sobers up.

He's sorry-quack
He has fears of dying-quack
Wants help getting into a program-quack

If you stay with him, you'll get used to these kinds of calls.
Alcoholics make great drama queens.....

marie1960

This is what I call running into a burning building.

Be careful, those wall can come tumbling down on YOU.

I agree with BoxinRotz, tomorrow you will be the bad guy, and probably the reason he drinks too.

You can exit the crazy train anytime, or you can climb aboard for another lather, rinse, repeat trip around the sun. if he really wants help HE will search it out for himself.

Take care of YOU.

NWGRITS

Odds are good he will be angry with you if you call 911 or attempt any other intervention. Quack quack quack.

In the future, just call an ambulance if he's talking about dying. Let them deal with him. If he really wants help, he will call the professionals, not you.

LoveMeNow

I used to "run" too. Last time, I got the "I need rehab" text - I replied call someone from your program. Next day, it was never mentioned again.

9111111

When you are scred he's back in control - over your life.

We have a choice if we want to become a home detox or a "couch-crash and hungover breakfast"...just saying...btdt

Seren

Hello christina,

Your ex fiance and all active alcoholic and addicts are always in my prayers.

I hope that your fiance will actually decide to enter a program or at least go to the emergency room. Based on my own experience, that does not really happen right away.

Please check in when you can and let us know that YOU are OK and how things went.

LightInside

Hugs to you and your Little. Keep a sane mind!

CodeJob

Christina,

What are you getting out if these interactions?

Why did he call you?

honeypig

Christina, I've seen the suggestion made here at SR that, in situations like this, the appropriate response is to call 911. If the person talking about suicide is serious, then trained medical personnel need to intervene. If the person talking about suicide is not serious and is only creating drama, then the experience of having the paramedics show up AND the cost of all this will discourage such actions in the future.

I can't speak from firsthand experience, but this response makes sense to me. Why should it be up to YOU to save him from himself?

shil2587

Just my experience, but people who talk about suicide don't do it. It's usually to suck someone in and manipulate them. I sincerely hope you are ok and able to step back away from him.

Shirt423

My ex did the exact same thing on his binges. These are sick people who we don't need in our life. Sometimes alcoholics commit suicide, but we can't stop them if that is their plan. Usually it is a form of manipulation, my 50 year old alcoholic uncle still does it to my 88 year old grandmother. Then if she can't reach him one day she cries the entire day thinking he is dead when is really in a bar or passed out.

I'm so glad I won't be worrying about an alcoholic when I'm 88, and I pray no one else on this forum has to either

iamthird

I have been sucked in many times by separated AH. This is painful to read because I can take myself back to the beginning when I did not know any better. To this day, still trying to forgive myself for dragging kids along for the AH ride.

Christina, if I learned anything, the one thing that has been beat into my head is if the A in your life wants sobriety and full recovery, they will do it with or without you. You have to worry about yourself and make your boundaries. You got the call and you went running as we all have so I understand. He may be serious. But if he is, you need to let him do it himself....

christinastar10

Thanks everyone for the advice and things I did not see first hand. I did end up going and it was a long 24+ hrs. My XABF did go into the er. They kept him for about 10 hours and released him. They did not keep him any longer for his suicidal thoughts. He is supposed to see 2 docs today to see if he can get into a inpatient program.

9111111

Hey Christina, thanks for the update! A very busy 24hours for you. How are you doing?

christinastar10

Hello 911,

I'm doing ok. I got some good sleep last night. My emotions are numb. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing to what just happened.

9111111

Glad you got some sleep. I went through a similar situation with a friend and was feeling numb and almost like in a movie. There was probably a lot happening and a lot you had to process in a very short amount of time. Are there other people, like other friends or family helping out?