atalose

10-11 rehabs is allot. I'm sure you've been through allot with his drinking and all those hopes each time he's entered another one.

What do you want out of life Maggie's? Where would you like to see your life s year from now?

maggies

The local hospital knows my husband and are tired of him. He has been their many times while drunk. Everything from falling off his bike, slashing his hand, trouble breathing, the shakes. He, needs detox medicine but they told him the last time that they won't do it again. Sad to say but he has been there almost a dozen times since the beginning of the year.

MissFixit

Maggie,

Do you have friends or family who you could stay with?

maggies

Not really because most of my family does not want anything to do with me because I have stayed with my hubby for so long. I came here and shared an awful story of his drunken behavior but it is just the tip of the iceberg. This pattern of being sober xx number of months followed by a bender has been going on for many years.

MissFixit

So, there are YEARS of horrible behavior from drinking leading up to this incident. Your family has distanced themselves because of his drinking. Why have you chosen to stay with him?

Have you talked to a therapist?

maggies

I always thought it was okay because he was able to stay sober for long periods. And then, at times, he would manage to only drink a 6pack or sometimes a 12 pack. The last year, his binges have got worser. I really hope the hospital doesn't release him.

MissFixit

Alcoholism is progressive and always gets worse. it doesn't stay the same. people will do things you never imagined they would.

your ah is not reliable. you cannot count on him. do you have any other means of support or any place to stay away from him?

maggies

missfix, no I have no where else to go but I won't leave my home. I have some anabuse tablets that my husband use to take to prevent drinking. His last probation he was ordered to take anabuse daily. I could mix those in his food so he will get a bit ill if he drinks.

Carlotta

Drugging your husband is not a normal or sane thing to do and is akin to domestic violence.
Folks on antabuse get violently ill when they drink too. It will not stop him from drinking either and if he finds out what you did, he'll probably flip out (I am sober and I would flip out if my partner sneaked some stuff into my food)
This is an attempt at controlling him which will very likely backfire.
Just because he is sneaky, untrustworthy and abusive does not mean you have to sink to his level and become sneaky, untrustworthy and abusive yourself.

Why don't you take the rest of the day for yourself since he is not around and use the time to take a nice long walk, or a bubble bath or some other self nurturing activity? Doesn't it sound much more fun than planning to sneak drugs into someone's food? Get a chick flick and some comfort food and have a nice evening home without drunken diversion for a change. Stay in the moment and enjoy.

Carlotta

Ps: I did not mean to sound preachy, I know how crazy we get. When I was living with my abusive XABF I contemplated smothering him with a pillow or turning him over so he would choke on his own drunken puke. So I am not a high and mighty little Ms Perfect far from it LOL but I am in recovery and these days I am able to see what is normal and what is crazy/dysfunctional thinking and acting up.

maggies

You are right though, carlotta. I think I should mention the times he has been sober was when he was on probation monitoring. Over the years he has always celebrated the day he gets off probation and the anabuse with a drink or 10 drinks. It's a very predictable pattern. He would still drive too if I didn't hide the car keys. He seem unfazed by legal consequences.

LBrain

wow! when some people get UP TO 6 to 12 they have hit bottom. Cutting back to that much is not any indication of getting 'better'.
Some may not like this. But I would have him arrested. He is of ZERO value to you and your family and their well being at the moment. He is of little value to himself.
You are probably not in USA I assume because 5 duis , probation and antabuse ordered, he would be in violation and would likely have to spend time away.
Also, and this is not for me to judge, but I suspect you are also in need of some 'coaching' at the moment and in the past. co-dependency I think is a term they use.
It is a horrible feeling. Think of the children and that defenseless animal. What next?
Sometimes it takes something really drastic for someone to stop.

honeypig

This. ^^^

Maggies, if you needed any more proof that the situation is out of control and that your thinking has become as twisted as his, this is it. You cannot do anything for him. You CAN do something for you.

LoveMeNow

My prayers go out to your children. They are truly the voiceless victims in all this insanity. I pray you get them to alateen and/or counseling as soon as possible.

I am not trying to shame or blame you but the reality is your children are suffering very badly.

maggies

lbrain, at times he would drink a 6 pack of beer for breakfast and work 7am-5pm. He moves large construction equipment and operates a forklift in a hangar size warehouse. I would imagine it is a hazard and as I said his job has enabled him. Thank you everyone for the responses. I know I need some type of help because I have been doing this for a number of years. I'm currently searching the whole house for beers that he hides. I have a bad feeling he will be released.

Chelsea1029

I am so sorry. I think you are in such an unhealthy situation and have been for so long that you really don't see just how unhealthy it is for you and your child.
You say he's a good man sober but it doesn't sound like that happens very often. You deserve so much better...please read the information in this site. I know it's hard to accept but you can't fix him.

maggies

Great, he just called from ER and they are releasing him. They tell him to stay hydrated with water, gatorade. This is why I feel bad for him. He is going to have the severe shakes tonight and tomorrow. They don't do anything for him and then they wonder why he's been there so many times. If he suffers from a illness than why do they treat him this way? I will have to give him a couple of beers late tonight.

suki44883

They've seen him at the ER enough to know that giving him something is useless. He'll just start drinking again and honestly, they should be treating people who WANT and need to be treated.

Making things easy for the addict, giving them a soft place to land, a warm bed, steady meals, clean clothes, bathroom facilities...all these things enable the addict. If he has no consequences, he sees absolutely no reason to change anything. We can love and enable our addicts right into the grave.

maggies

No consequences? He has 5 dui's and spent most of 2011 and 2012 in and out of jail. I think he has had enough consequences and find the hospital decision to release him dangerous.

Mango blast

maggie, how old are your kids? Do you have boys or girls and are they in school? How have they been holding up?