forworse

A few of you may remember me from last year. Long story short, I finally filed for divorce and am away from that ruthless time vampire I used to call wife. Seems shes going to make it a difficult divorce(or should i say, her parents are). The important thing though is I am no longer going to be tied to the borderline, suicidal selfish alcoholic drug user! Doesn't matter how much work it is going to be or how much money it will cost, it will be worth it! So now shes gone from my life a friend and a family member both have major substance issues! WTH is going on? I am mid 30's and it seems more and more people in this age group are falling to drugs and alcohol. Can anyone shed some light on this? Its not because of the people I associate with because I have plenty of friends that aren't down the path, and my brother is pretty far away.

lillamy

Welcome back!

You sound determined and decided -- and I wish you good luck in the divorce proceedings. The only piece of advice I would offer, based on my own divorce, is to determine from the beginning what are your absolute must-haves. And then stick by those and be ready to let go of everything else. Because stuff is just stuff, kwim?

As far as being surrounded by other addicts -- I don't know if there really are more addicts around you or if you just notice them more now that you've dealt with addiction so close-up? You know, like when I bought my new car, all of a sudden I saw red Toyota Camrys everywhere... just because I was more aware of them?

I can say though that compared to my parents' generation (I'm in my 50s), there seems to be less stigma attached to being a big drinker or using recreational drugs in the younger generations. When I was growing up, the pot smokers were generally seen as losers, and anyone who used heavier drugs was basically shunned. I'm pretty shocked to hear now how my oldest can mention in passing that a friend is in rehab for heroin addiction -- as if it's nothing unusual, kwim?

honeypig

Welcome back, Forworse, and glad to hear you've made some changes in your life. Like Lillamy said, stuff is just stuff. Your freedom and growth is what's important.

Hope you continue to read and post here as things progress for you. You already know the kind of supportive folks that we have at SR!

forworse

I have now turned two concerned people to this forum as well as AlAnon and connected one with a guy that does mental health and substance referrals. Never could have been there for these people if it wasn't for what I went through. Life truly is good! I am enjoying the outdoors, active in church, met someone thats exactly who I was intended to be with(i was going to not date for a year but totally can't ignore it when something like this is put in front of you). I travel, go to parks, camp, bike, play daddy to a six year old, go shooting a lot and work has taken a turn for the better. Amazing what can happen when you get the negative out of your life! As for the divorce, her parents are behind making it complicated. It could have really been so simple! It is what it is and in God's capable hands. I would like for it to be done yesterday but I know it will happen at some point and I won't have to deal with it again after that point. In the mean time, i am living again and its a great feeling! Hope you are all doing well and thankful to have you!