| Mellybug | 03-28-2014 04:19 AM |
Update - 1 month post break up
Today is officially one month since I moved out and into my own apartment. I took the loving advice of many of you here and have gone "no contact" with my XABF. I haven't received anything since Monday...which was simply "Hope you have a fantastic day!"
I realized that I had more energy to tackle a problem at work I've been having for 2-1/2 years! I had gone through the normal channels to try to get the problem resolved, or even someone to acknowledge there even WAS a problem, to no avail. Earlier this week I decided to try something different...I met with my 2 coworkers and we discussed the issues we're currently having. I typed up a list of our frustrations and challenges with the intention of going to our current leaders (again) but at the last minute I went to a trusted coworker instead. The very next day a new change was implemented that will GREATLY assist us - and due to my leadership skills I've been asked to help develop it!
I have no doubt that I'll be called to task for going outside of the "chain of command" - but for 2-1/2 years I followed the established protocol and the problems we were having were ignored and only got worse. I am ready for that conversation - and thanks to the tools I've learned through Al Anon and my self-discovery I am not even apprehensive.
I even have plans for the next two weekends! Previously my only plans were making sure the spare bedroom linens were clean and ready for me to sleep in when my XABF would come home wasted at 4 a.m. My 40th birthday is in 2 weeks and I'm SO EXCITED!!! As a 7-1/2 year cancer survivor who wasn't expected to live past 35, turning 40 is a HUGE success for me!
I can't believe the amount of grown I've been able to accomplish in the last 30 days by just getting out of that toxic relationship. :thanks for everyone here for sharing your stories, experience, helpful suggestions, and hope. | 