boyfriend arrested DUI what happens now?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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boyfriend arrested DUI what happens now?
my boyfriend got a dui last week and today we called and.got him an.appointment.for an evaluation by the.doctor for alcoholism and drug abuse. cant get in until next week unless we went to the hospital so were waiting. can anyone tell me what to expect how do they evaluate for this what they might recommend. the attorney.sugestsx tjis and we all agree its needed
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hi and Welcome to the SR family!
I am sorry for the reason that brings you here but hope you will spend some time reading, posting, and venting when needed. At the top of each section of this site, there are permanent posts that contain lots of wisdom and experience. You might find stories of members who have experienced the same thing that you are going through.
This is a link to a permanent post that helped me:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I am sorry for the reason that brings you here but hope you will spend some time reading, posting, and venting when needed. At the top of each section of this site, there are permanent posts that contain lots of wisdom and experience. You might find stories of members who have experienced the same thing that you are going through.
This is a link to a permanent post that helped me:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
This varies state by state google this for your state.
Has he hired a lawyer ?
A lot depends on what he blew at his arrest.
Just a guess, this is going to cost 10 grand for fines lawyer and machine in the car if it's mandated in your state.
Was this a first time arrest for DUI
Has he hired a lawyer ?
A lot depends on what he blew at his arrest.
Just a guess, this is going to cost 10 grand for fines lawyer and machine in the car if it's mandated in your state.
Was this a first time arrest for DUI
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 49
thank you i will read there. im using my.phone and.its hard to type sorry.for error and all the misplaced period signs.
this is.his first dui thank.God and it was just above legal but.i will look up our state. yes his dad helped and we all went to see the attorney. hes the one who said he needed to go to the.doctor and get evauated and.show he was taking this seriously. hes scared and should be, could have killed someone or himself, and he is afraid he will lose his license but the attorney said no. never been.through this, since his mom died hes lost it, we posponed our weddding and he keeps getting.worse. i hope with this he sees the light.
thank you
this is.his first dui thank.God and it was just above legal but.i will look up our state. yes his dad helped and we all went to see the attorney. hes the one who said he needed to go to the.doctor and get evauated and.show he was taking this seriously. hes scared and should be, could have killed someone or himself, and he is afraid he will lose his license but the attorney said no. never been.through this, since his mom died hes lost it, we posponed our weddding and he keeps getting.worse. i hope with this he sees the light.
thank you
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 258
Welcome Carrie, sorry for what you're going through, it sounds like a nightmare.
I noticed you talking about "we" a lot - how "we" are you, if you don't mind me asking? You said you aren't married (yet), but who's the owner of the car / insurance holder..?
It's great you are trying to help your bf with his legal mess, but have you made sure it's not going to affect you?
I noticed you talking about "we" a lot - how "we" are you, if you don't mind me asking? You said you aren't married (yet), but who's the owner of the car / insurance holder..?
It's great you are trying to help your bf with his legal mess, but have you made sure it's not going to affect you?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by CarrieBear 
he keeps getting.worse. i hope with this he sees the light.
I'm glad you found us here at SR. This is a great source of information about alcoholism and what you can and can't do about it, as well as being a wonderful, supportive community for those who have an A in their lives. I'd like to second the suggestion to read the stickied posts at the top of the page and I'd also like to recommend you read as much as you possibly can in the rest of the threads too. You'll likely see a lot that seems familiar to you.
You also may find it helpful to check into Alanon as an additional source of information and support. Here's a link to help find a meeting: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
I think it may have been a blessing in disguise that the wedding was postponed, and I'd like to encourage you to please educate yourself about alcoholism and what you'll be facing if you marry this man and he continues drinking. Even if he gets help, or promises to get help, a year of proven recovery would be a reasonable condition to request before there is any more talk of marriage.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Originally Posted by CarrieBear
thank you i will read there. im using my.phone and.its hard to type sorry.for error and all the misplaced period signs.
this is.his first dui thank.God and it was just above legal but.i will look up our state. yes his dad helped and we all went to see the attorney. hes the one who said he needed to go to the.doctor and get evauated and.show he was taking this seriously. hes scared and should be, could have killed someone or himself, and he is afraid he will lose his license but the attorney said no. never been.through this, since his mom died hes lost it, we posponed our weddding and he keeps getting.worse. i hope with this he sees the light.
thank you
this is.his first dui thank.God and it was just above legal but.i will look up our state. yes his dad helped and we all went to see the attorney. hes the one who said he needed to go to the.doctor and get evauated and.show he was taking this seriously. hes scared and should be, could have killed someone or himself, and he is afraid he will lose his license but the attorney said no. never been.through this, since his mom died hes lost it, we posponed our weddding and he keeps getting.worse. i hope with this he sees the light.
thank you
First DUI just above the legal limit. This will be in his favor. Do you believe he is an alcoholic from you observation? He could be going thru a grieving process right now. Has there been other driving infractions with alcohol? Illegal transportation etc. ?
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
I agree that he is going through a grieving process right now. In a few weeks that will change. Don't be surprised if he drinks again.
As for the fallout from the DUI and the cost, it depends on the state. My AH got his DUI 2 years ago but he was super extreme and blew a .23. He had to do jail time, home detention, and still has an ignition interlock on his car which is supposed to come off in July. We pay $90 a month for the interlock and the DUI cost us around $11,000 between lawyer costs, jail costs, court fees, impound fees, etc. And, our insurance never found out because the judge didn't require him to file an SR22 so we were lucky. He also had to take alcohol classes for 6 weeks but at that point he was already drinking again and was angry at the system, pissed off that he had to take these 'stupid' classes, and NOT happy about going to tent city(we live in AZ) jail in June here in Phoenx.
He was extremely remorseful and apologetic for about 2 weeks after the event. Then, he was abstaining from alcohol for a few weeks, and then he started drinking again about 6 weeks after the DUI. It didn't take long for him to fall back into old habits. He also tried to start his car drunk last year with the interlock on the car, and blew a .15 twice in the same week so the MVD judge slapped him with another 6 months of interlock. He's finally finishing up those last 6 months!
As for the fallout from the DUI and the cost, it depends on the state. My AH got his DUI 2 years ago but he was super extreme and blew a .23. He had to do jail time, home detention, and still has an ignition interlock on his car which is supposed to come off in July. We pay $90 a month for the interlock and the DUI cost us around $11,000 between lawyer costs, jail costs, court fees, impound fees, etc. And, our insurance never found out because the judge didn't require him to file an SR22 so we were lucky. He also had to take alcohol classes for 6 weeks but at that point he was already drinking again and was angry at the system, pissed off that he had to take these 'stupid' classes, and NOT happy about going to tent city(we live in AZ) jail in June here in Phoenx.
He was extremely remorseful and apologetic for about 2 weeks after the event. Then, he was abstaining from alcohol for a few weeks, and then he started drinking again about 6 weeks after the DUI. It didn't take long for him to fall back into old habits. He also tried to start his car drunk last year with the interlock on the car, and blew a .15 twice in the same week so the MVD judge slapped him with another 6 months of interlock. He's finally finishing up those last 6 months!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Thats awful LizT. I dont know how I would handle that. Jail, imprisoned at home and a device on his car all this time plus the money.
Captain, he had a .11 and in our state its only about .03 over legal. i think his.driving was more impared by the.oxy he took but they didnt look for that. Hes been messed up since his mom was sick and then she died and he's in pieces inside and his stupid cousin started giving him pills for the pain. he drinks with the pills sometimes but not usually. the pills make him sleep and after.working its all he does. i think hes depressed is part of.it but theres a pill addiction. last night his cousin came took his stash. he says hes dstoxing before the appointment.
im not to a place where i think this cant be fixed. years more of this i dont know. the car is his, insurance his. we bought our house together before our planned wedding before his mom got.sick and we posponed it all. we have a son together but i dont let.him drive.him around very often before this because I knew it wasnt safe.
Captain, he had a .11 and in our state its only about .03 over legal. i think his.driving was more impared by the.oxy he took but they didnt look for that. Hes been messed up since his mom was sick and then she died and he's in pieces inside and his stupid cousin started giving him pills for the pain. he drinks with the pills sometimes but not usually. the pills make him sleep and after.working its all he does. i think hes depressed is part of.it but theres a pill addiction. last night his cousin came took his stash. he says hes dstoxing before the appointment.
im not to a place where i think this cant be fixed. years more of this i dont know. the car is his, insurance his. we bought our house together before our planned wedding before his mom got.sick and we posponed it all. we have a son together but i dont let.him drive.him around very often before this because I knew it wasnt safe.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by CarrieBear
my boyfriend got a dui last week
can anyone tell me what to expect how do they evaluate for this what they might recommend
possibly a short term loss of drivers license
driving sober school
evaluation might recommend
AA meetings
out patient Program
in patient Program
MM
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Originally Posted by CarrieBear
Thats awful LizT. I dont know how I would handle that. Jail, imprisoned at home and a device on his car all this time plus the money.
Captain, he had a .11 and in our state its only about .03 over legal. i think his.driving was more impared by the.oxy he took but they didnt look for that. Hes been messed up since his mom was sick and then she died and he's in pieces inside and his stupid cousin started giving him pills for the pain. he drinks with the pills sometimes but not usually. the pills make him sleep and after.working its all he does. i think hes depressed is part of.it but theres a pill addiction. last night his cousin came took his stash. he says hes dstoxing before the appointment.
im not to a place where i think this cant be fixed. years more of this i dont know. the car is his, insurance his. we bought our house together before our planned wedding before his mom got.sick and we posponed it all. we have a son together but i dont let.him drive.him around very often before this because I knew it wasnt safe.
Captain, he had a .11 and in our state its only about .03 over legal. i think his.driving was more impared by the.oxy he took but they didnt look for that. Hes been messed up since his mom was sick and then she died and he's in pieces inside and his stupid cousin started giving him pills for the pain. he drinks with the pills sometimes but not usually. the pills make him sleep and after.working its all he does. i think hes depressed is part of.it but theres a pill addiction. last night his cousin came took his stash. he says hes dstoxing before the appointment.
im not to a place where i think this cant be fixed. years more of this i dont know. the car is his, insurance his. we bought our house together before our planned wedding before his mom got.sick and we posponed it all. we have a son together but i dont let.him drive.him around very often before this because I knew it wasnt safe.
That's a lethal combination the pills an alcohol
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im afraid to know what drugs his cousin has supplied. i know at one time he was taking morphine but now he says no but its hard to trust if uts the truth. hes home and.not feeling good and a bugger to talk to, think he took all he had. i dont know about the drinking, ive read.some and he doesnt sound like an.alcoholic. I see him drink, dont find hidden bottles or stashes, no smells on his breath or clothes. he.doesnt run out and sneak off. his stipid cousin supplies the pills and doesnt hide it. i know im not living with him if he turns into that guy, i cant. i feel like this is his chance or i dont know wbat Ill do. i hope the doctor recommends outpatient or.something. the attorney said the alcohol course woukd be a short program i think only a.few hours.
after reading here for a.true alcoholic i.dont think it would be enough. why dont they.do more on a first offense or maybe if his level was higher they would.
after reading here for a.true alcoholic i.dont think it would be enough. why dont they.do more on a first offense or maybe if his level was higher they would.
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Originally Posted by CarrieBear
i know im not living with him if he turns into that guy, i cant.
Just sayin...
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Originally Posted by CarrieBear
we have a son together but i dont let.him drive.him around very often before this because I knew it wasnt safe.
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Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
He doesn't even have to be an alcoholic to die from an overdose mixing booze and pills. It happens all the time and not just to those other people.
Thanks, Zing, for pointing that out.
This is about more than a DUI.
Thanks, Zing, for pointing that out.
This is about more than a DUI.
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Compared to his cousins life is what i meant but no need to explain him. i know its a short trip to end up worse off or dead. ive been.patient because of everything hes been through but i cant.do it anymore. im drawing a line for myself and our son. he loves his daddy but i cant trust him in a car with him. i cant trust him to watch him because he falls asleep on pills and cant be woken. he will miss our son growing up because hes asleep. im angry today because hes sick and whiny, but im tired too. i feel bad for him but tberes nothing i can.do to make detox easier, he.put the crap in his body now witbout it hes in pain, im sorry stop putting it in, weve done detox before, learn to say no. sorry if i sound heartless im not, i love him but its.got to stop.
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