frannie

Hi, I haven't posted in a few days and i wanted you to know how things are going on the home front. The A Daughter is moving along now in a level mood and sometimes even a happy mood. She is afraid to drive after dark because of her DUI restricted license. I encourage the fear. If she gets pulled over, i don't know what they do if you are out after the allowable working hours...but I am sure it is not nice. The DUI has really changed her life style...it had to. The probation lasts for a year but the DUI stays on the record forever, i think...that means if you are 30 and get another one...it would count as your second one...etc, etc. Really makes one think about drinking and driving. I don't know how long this healthy respect of the law about drinking will last...but right now it is doing its job...she does not want to go back to court for any reason. It is rather like having one strike against you in the big game of life...for the rest of your life all strikes count and more harshly each time. If she is not an alcoholic this should definitely curtail the drinking...and it has. Plus she started on earlier hours at the hospital...she goes in at 6:00 AM and works until 2:30. Getting up that early in the morning requires her to get a good and early night's sleep. The operating room is not a place where you want to be sluggish or slow thinking. I hear myself saying all these good things and I know that tomorrow she may go out and totally blow everything. That is the hard thing...the trust factor...nonexistent. I wonder if I will ever believe that she is going to be alright. I hope i can feel that way someday...maybe I can...I pray that things will work out and that she will let God work through her life...so far I haven't really been able to get her to go to church with me...so you see we have a long way to go. i say several prayers for her everyday...plus odd moments when i pray for her safety and well-being. So I am holding my breath trying to enjoy the peace and quiet and lack of drama. I also know that my sister and her son, daughter's best friend cousin, are coming for their annual vacation the week after the 4th of July (a long standing family tradition..cousin also is bringing 3 fraternity brothers again this year). For the last 3 or 4 years....daughter has chosen this time to do something absolutely horrendous. I pray that that pattern is broken. Why she choses to act out when company is here I don't know...any good guesses??? I have rambled long enough...am doing fine now and with the will of God will be fine for a while longer. It may be all your prayers and concern that have helped in her behavior..I do believe in the power of prayer!!! Keep them coming.

best

I think your own prayers and growth in knowledge are what gets you through things. WIll continue prayers here all the same.
Acting out may be her desire for the focus of attention (maybe)

As far as getting her to church...
All we can do is pray and invite till such a day that they are willing.
Invite... I am going to church in the AM, your welcome to come if you like.
... I know I have asked before, just want you to know the invitation is still open.
... You know what would be so nice... if we could sit in church as a family
... special evens at church always create an open door for a invite (guest speakers, pot luck dinners, soloist)
Still comes down to she needs to find "her" personal relationship with God.
Can bring a horse to water....

As the word was shared in his house, his whole house came to know the Lord.
Share by word but more important by deed. Live what is good and right. Lead by example. Let the glow and joy of the visit at church be what is seen by others.
(this last part is written to self)

Jody515

HI Frannie! You sound good. And so dose Mandy! Thats great. You know you made me feel really good when you said you worry about me but I am great! I am married and have 2 great kids. My marriage was a wreck before I came into recovery. But now I enjoy my husband and kids. Don't get me wrong we still have our spats but nothing like before. I use to be very sad. But I know now that I am not alone. I have a lot to be gratefull for.
I am so happy to hear that you are going to church! And about Mandy, she may have a relationship with God and just might not be ready to share it with anyone just yet. You know it is hard for me to talk about God to other people. I guess it is because I don't like the fact that I can't control things. I kept it to myself for a long time. It is hard to say you have been defeted. I think I told you about the book I am reading, a purpose driven life. You should read it and maybe pass it on to Mandy. Great book. Or maybe you can read it together.
You were saying that she likes to lash out when company is coming. Had to laugh! I use to do those things. I guess cuss I liked when things were crazy. If things were quit at home I would always go and do something to make people talk. It made me feel powerful. Crazy ha! The things we will do for attiontion!(not sure if I spelled that right) If she stays clean she will see that things are getting better. She will have times when she will want to use. Those are the times she needs to talk to another addict in recovery. They will beable to talk her out of it. It really dose work. I know I have had to pick up the phone many times. I tried talk to my mom and husband but they just don't understand. I use to get mad but I know now that I have to talk to someone who is like me.
You asked how old I has when I figured out that I need to change my life. I was 29 but hopefully Mandy will see that is noway to live before than. I hope you have a great 4th of July. I wil keep on praying for you. God Bless!
Jody