Interesting
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by Snood 
Ten years
She helped me through the particularly harrowing circumstances of my mother's illness and death.
She's very close to Andrew. To me he was and is 'little brother'. Pleasant chap about 8 years younger than me.
She helped me through the particularly harrowing circumstances of my mother's illness and death.
She's very close to Andrew. To me he was and is 'little brother'. Pleasant chap about 8 years younger than me.
That was nice of your wife to help you through your mother's death. I am sure you feel the desire to support her through this. Whether that support is as her husband or as her friend, I am sure that she will appreciate it as long as she is in her right mind. Only you know how it will be received.
I can understand waiting to see what happens with your brother-in-law before separating. However, I didn't know you were really considering leaving her. Were you? If so, then I do not think you are a b*****d for following through with that even given the current circumstances. You have a lot on your plate with the news so either way, you know what is best for you.
If she continues to take advantage of you, can you set boundaries for yourself?
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Kendal, Cumbria UK
Posts: 129
Thanks, MissFixIt
Yes, wifey helped through mum's death, but the evil twin spoke ill a lot, before and after mum's death. I plan to help over the Andrew thing 'cos it's the morally decent thing to do. My only downfall is that I spent over 2 years working as the photographer at a medical school. It makes me a bit 'doctor-like' as I tend to think of people as 'cases'.
The leaving/splitting up apect is complicated. We have a house and a holiday flat, both essentially my parents' legacy. We each legally own half (guess who wasn't in his right mind early in the relationship).
I'd like her to have the flat, which is beginning to become a viable business. Running it and finding a place to live = her problems. The only way she could get me out of the house is in a pine box.
She, however, has a pension, from whihc I was removed as a beneficiary about five years ago...told, not asked. Morally, she should stump up half this sum. She probably won't.
It looks like the flat is outstripping the house, value-wise, so I'm getting the flat valued as a dwelling and a business. My best friend could help to some degree. She thinks the valuation is being done as a business thing/matter of interest.
I'm being adult here. The sting is that her hopeless step 'children' won't get a look into my half. Undeserved is a mild way of putting it.
As I said, complicated.
Yes, wifey helped through mum's death, but the evil twin spoke ill a lot, before and after mum's death. I plan to help over the Andrew thing 'cos it's the morally decent thing to do. My only downfall is that I spent over 2 years working as the photographer at a medical school. It makes me a bit 'doctor-like' as I tend to think of people as 'cases'.
The leaving/splitting up apect is complicated. We have a house and a holiday flat, both essentially my parents' legacy. We each legally own half (guess who wasn't in his right mind early in the relationship).
I'd like her to have the flat, which is beginning to become a viable business. Running it and finding a place to live = her problems. The only way she could get me out of the house is in a pine box.
She, however, has a pension, from whihc I was removed as a beneficiary about five years ago...told, not asked. Morally, she should stump up half this sum. She probably won't.
It looks like the flat is outstripping the house, value-wise, so I'm getting the flat valued as a dwelling and a business. My best friend could help to some degree. She thinks the valuation is being done as a business thing/matter of interest.
I'm being adult here. The sting is that her hopeless step 'children' won't get a look into my half. Undeserved is a mild way of putting it.
As I said, complicated.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Kendal, Cumbria UK
Posts: 129
Originally Posted by Snood
Thank you.
He had testicular cancer three years ago, and a successful resection op, plus chemotherapy (he swore he'd never have it again).
The possibility of a Whipple's procedure suggests pancreatic cancer is likely to be present...
'A pancreatic head resection entails removal of the head of the pancreas, the duodenum (the first piece of the small intestine), part of the bile duct (the pipe which drains bile from the liver into the bowel), the surrounding lymph nodes, the gallbladder, and sometimes part of the stomach.'
The docs have mentioned a 4-inch mass in (or by) the duodenum. Apparently, monthly blood tests didn't indicate it until recently, after it had been felt as a physical entity by Andrew and his wife.
We await news.
He had testicular cancer three years ago, and a successful resection op, plus chemotherapy (he swore he'd never have it again).
The possibility of a Whipple's procedure suggests pancreatic cancer is likely to be present...
'A pancreatic head resection entails removal of the head of the pancreas, the duodenum (the first piece of the small intestine), part of the bile duct (the pipe which drains bile from the liver into the bowel), the surrounding lymph nodes, the gallbladder, and sometimes part of the stomach.'
The docs have mentioned a 4-inch mass in (or by) the duodenum. Apparently, monthly blood tests didn't indicate it until recently, after it had been felt as a physical entity by Andrew and his wife.
We await news.
The mass is benign, probably a cyst. He'll need a biggish operation to have it removed but the non-cancerous state of the growth is a huge relief.
Snood
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