What is your favorite recovery "tool" and why?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
This website - good to see different people in various stages using different recovery methods. Gives me good feedback and the opportunity to be honest about my own life.
HALT acronym for hungry angry tired lonely. Is great for identifying cravings and moods and understanding why I feel the way I do.
The telephone reaching out, texting, interacting with others in recovery and friends who support me.
AA helps me now that I'm sober to see real people who understand, and are all striving to be better people.
Meditation keeps me centered, aware of my obsessions, and worries and helps me clear my mind and focus in the now.
Many books and other resources. I read a lot. Books, websites, blogs. Journals, some recovery based, some barely touch the topic. Give me perspective, knowledge, and hope.
HALT acronym for hungry angry tired lonely. Is great for identifying cravings and moods and understanding why I feel the way I do.
The telephone reaching out, texting, interacting with others in recovery and friends who support me.
AA helps me now that I'm sober to see real people who understand, and are all striving to be better people.
Meditation keeps me centered, aware of my obsessions, and worries and helps me clear my mind and focus in the now.
Many books and other resources. I read a lot. Books, websites, blogs. Journals, some recovery based, some barely touch the topic. Give me perspective, knowledge, and hope.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
One of the biggies for me was learning how I react to events. I learned that I did not have to react to a request or any 'emergency' in the mind of the active addict/alcoholic. I can take time to think about what, if anything, my response or action will be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 785
I don't have a favorite tool. I like my morning readings, prayers, and meditation because they center me and start my day off right. (This alone has made a huge difference in how my day goes.) The slogans are great for stopping the obsessive worrying. Learning how to detach was huge for me. Before alanon and SR I didn't realize how much I take on others' feelings and anxiety. Not having to do that has made my life much more peaceful.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I'd say mindfulness is my favorite. When I pay attention to my thoughts and respond rather than react my life is much better. I have a couple of simple mantras I use to keep myself off the hamster wheel in my head. Things like "who are you talking to?" or "that's not happening now." when I feel myself arguing with someone who isn't there or I start to future trip. When nothing is going on in my head, which by the way happens a lot more now, I will use "I love me." or "Thank you". Self esteem and gratitude are good things to reinforce.
Your friend,
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Journaling has become a huge thing for me again. (I did it for years & then stopped for a long time)
Awareness - to me this encompasses some of what other's have said... like being Aware of Right Now & not obsessing on yesterday or tomorrow, just staying in the Now. Awareness of my triggers, Awareness of the damage on my side of the street & owning it instead of continuing to look for answers outside of myelf.
Yoga is big for me because it is the physical bridge between my mind & spirit & when I am in my Zone on my mat, I am in all 3 spaces equally & it is ALL about ME. There is no room to focus on anything but myself. Sometimes it is the only place in my life where I can find/create balance in a way that I truly FEEL it. Beyond that, when I focus on targeted areas in a therapy sense (like the hips - the seat of our emotions) I have found it useful in jarring loose old memories & emotions & bringing them closer to the surface so that I can heal them.
Breathing exercises & meditation are crucial for me because I can do them anywhere & apply them to all kinds o situations in life, not just in dealing with my qualifier.
SR - invaluable in terms of hearing other's life experiences & the wealth of knowledge shared. I have gotten so many leads from this site to books, blogs, events, etc that have resonated with me..... it's so much more than just reading &/or responding to a thread.
Awareness - to me this encompasses some of what other's have said... like being Aware of Right Now & not obsessing on yesterday or tomorrow, just staying in the Now. Awareness of my triggers, Awareness of the damage on my side of the street & owning it instead of continuing to look for answers outside of myelf.
Yoga is big for me because it is the physical bridge between my mind & spirit & when I am in my Zone on my mat, I am in all 3 spaces equally & it is ALL about ME. There is no room to focus on anything but myself. Sometimes it is the only place in my life where I can find/create balance in a way that I truly FEEL it. Beyond that, when I focus on targeted areas in a therapy sense (like the hips - the seat of our emotions) I have found it useful in jarring loose old memories & emotions & bringing them closer to the surface so that I can heal them.
Breathing exercises & meditation are crucial for me because I can do them anywhere & apply them to all kinds o situations in life, not just in dealing with my qualifier.
SR - invaluable in terms of hearing other's life experiences & the wealth of knowledge shared. I have gotten so many leads from this site to books, blogs, events, etc that have resonated with me..... it's so much more than just reading &/or responding to a thread.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I second detachment.
For me, that was important to learn because I had learned from early childhood to take responsibility for other people's feelings. My mother was sick and bedridden a lot of my childhood, and I learned that I was being praised when I didn't disturb her but helped her. So I learned that a good person is someone who denies their own needs in order to fulfill those of others. Which was fine when I grew up in a loving family that gave back, but a disastrous way of being when I married a user.
Learning to detach for me was drawing a clear boundary between me and other people. Learning that I didn't have to be sad, angry, or irritable just because someone else was. Learning that I didn't have to -- indeed, couldn't -- fix other people's negative emotions. Learning that it's totally OK to say "bummer" and go on with my life when someone is trying to make me take on their feelings as my own.
For me, that was important to learn because I had learned from early childhood to take responsibility for other people's feelings. My mother was sick and bedridden a lot of my childhood, and I learned that I was being praised when I didn't disturb her but helped her. So I learned that a good person is someone who denies their own needs in order to fulfill those of others. Which was fine when I grew up in a loving family that gave back, but a disastrous way of being when I married a user.
Learning to detach for me was drawing a clear boundary between me and other people. Learning that I didn't have to be sad, angry, or irritable just because someone else was. Learning that I didn't have to -- indeed, couldn't -- fix other people's negative emotions. Learning that it's totally OK to say "bummer" and go on with my life when someone is trying to make me take on their feelings as my own.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
SR is the community / human connection where I've discussed my alcohol problem and recovery. Have not had very good experience sharing it with non-addict friends so far. Science. Planning and structuring my days has been very helpful especially during the first month and also introducing new pleasurable activities into my schedule. My drinking led me into a pretty extreme social isolation, so I'm trying to break this, get out and connect with people more - this is still a challenge sometimes. I also read a lot and journal. Mindfulness and being aware of what's going on in and around me, including when I do things that I resent afterward, why that happened. Meditation - trying to establish a regular regime with it. Exercise has been helpful, lots of walking in my city, too. Balanced diet and sleep schedule, which still needs improvement. Detachment from negative influences or overly critical people, but it's important that this does not lead to avoidant behaviors. Finally, one of the most important issues for me to work on is anxiety management as I've figured it plays into almost everything I'm doing. Also trying to work on self-esteem issues, which is related to anxiety for me at least. I would like to try therapy but have not found the right person yet.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I'm not sure if therapy is a recovery tool per se, more of a method, but it's been the biggest help for me. Talking things through with someone who gives me honest, unbiased feedback and advice has been the biggest game changer for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Opening up to others. SR and Celebrate Recovery led me to do so. I usto cover up for and lie about what was going on. When I stopped that and reached out my hand for help from others my life changed that very second.
Reading, reading, reading. Although the reading has changed. I usto read about how to get my XAH to recover, now I read about how to get myself and my children to have a successful recovery.
The power of prayer. I usto beg for answers and now I see I was just looking for a different answer. God does answer prayers, just maybe not how we want them answered or on our time frame.
Work....I have friends at my job and take pride in what I do. I also do housework to keep my house and yard looking nice. It gives me pride and a sense of accomplishment and calm to walk into a clean house and pull up to a nice yard.
My family. They know when I need them to show up right that second. They know when something is bothering me and I am trying to not show it. They know when I need to lean on them and they give me their unwaivering support.
Reading, reading, reading. Although the reading has changed. I usto read about how to get my XAH to recover, now I read about how to get myself and my children to have a successful recovery.
The power of prayer. I usto beg for answers and now I see I was just looking for a different answer. God does answer prayers, just maybe not how we want them answered or on our time frame.
Work....I have friends at my job and take pride in what I do. I also do housework to keep my house and yard looking nice. It gives me pride and a sense of accomplishment and calm to walk into a clean house and pull up to a nice yard.
My family. They know when I need them to show up right that second. They know when something is bothering me and I am trying to not show it. They know when I need to lean on them and they give me their unwaivering support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 87
I asked my daughter what she wanted. She doesn't want my ABF in our lives. So whenever I am tempted to contact him, I think of her. I know I need to get to the point when I can think that it's not good for me to be with him too but it's a start and it keeps me on the right track.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
What a great thread to start Choublak!
I agree with much of DoubleBarrel's post -
This website - SR and the frank honesty on this site has been a lifesaver for me.
HALT acronym for hungry angry lonely tired. Remembering this gives me some compassion and ability to detach when my RAH acts a little screwy. It even makes me evaluate me and my son's behavior with a bit more detachment. Sometimes I really just put myself to bed when I get crabby! Sometimes I run through HALT when my soon to be teen ager acts goofy.
Meditation/Prayer is my newest tool. I've never used it much and I am hoping to make it a habit.
Many books and other resources. I read a lot. Books, websites, blogs. Journals, some recovery based, some barely touch the topic. Give me perspective, knowledge, and hope.
Step 1, Step 2 and Step 3. Currently I am on Step 4 and have made some really big thought shifts. I do feel more centered and someone at work today said I look 'bright.' She is a codie and we talked a fair amount about where we are today (not tomorrow or yesterday!). I was able to articulate what I was working on in Step 4 and how it was totally impacting me and I was nowhere near even done with that step. But I think just reflecting and praying and looking at things differently is allowing some of it to be released before I even get to Step 5. So yeah maybe 'bright' is a good description. I am definitely sloughing off some old attitudes and trying to look ahead with great optimism even if things are uncertain.
I agree with much of DoubleBarrel's post -
This website - SR and the frank honesty on this site has been a lifesaver for me.
HALT acronym for hungry angry lonely tired. Remembering this gives me some compassion and ability to detach when my RAH acts a little screwy. It even makes me evaluate me and my son's behavior with a bit more detachment. Sometimes I really just put myself to bed when I get crabby! Sometimes I run through HALT when my soon to be teen ager acts goofy.
Meditation/Prayer is my newest tool. I've never used it much and I am hoping to make it a habit.
Many books and other resources. I read a lot. Books, websites, blogs. Journals, some recovery based, some barely touch the topic. Give me perspective, knowledge, and hope.
Step 1, Step 2 and Step 3. Currently I am on Step 4 and have made some really big thought shifts. I do feel more centered and someone at work today said I look 'bright.' She is a codie and we talked a fair amount about where we are today (not tomorrow or yesterday!). I was able to articulate what I was working on in Step 4 and how it was totally impacting me and I was nowhere near even done with that step. But I think just reflecting and praying and looking at things differently is allowing some of it to be released before I even get to Step 5. So yeah maybe 'bright' is a good description. I am definitely sloughing off some old attitudes and trying to look ahead with great optimism even if things are uncertain.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
SR - invaluable in terms of hearing other's life experiences & the wealth of knowledge shared. I have gotten so many leads from this site to books, blogs, events, etc that have resonated with me..... it's so much more than just reading &/or responding to a thread.
AND . . .
Alanon, where it is small groups of Long-Tymers with a LOT of "Cross-talk."
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