It's about me.
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It's about me.
Last night I was at home watching a movie and just relaxing it was about 8ish. I was so exhausted mentally and physically from my week I had no energy .
Legal mate comes over unannounced opens the door and the chaos begins. The dogs are jumping and anxiety in the house begins.
He begins to start asking me if I'm over him?
He's been thinking and wanting to know what I want to do?
Am I seeing anyone ?
Wants to know what I have been doing
Why am I not answering his calls or text messages and he can tell I have gotten stronger
. . . all these questions in about 2 minutes. I didn't answer anything
I looked at him and told him " Look I am tired and watching a movie minding my own business and you want to back me into a corner with this questions"
His whole demeanor changes and he apologizes. I looked at him and told him I want to finish watching my movie.
I couldn't believe I had so much control over me and what I wanted to do in a situation like this.
I stopped and chose not to answer his questions. I chose to finish watching the movie I just bought.
Legal Mate sat there and sulked. Then afterwards I told him I was tired and going to bed and thank you for coming over be careful driving home. He tried to act like he was falling asleep. I told him he better go home before he gets even more tired.
Wow. . I woke up this morning feeling strong and happy that I can see it's not about him it's about me.
Thank you for listening.
PS. I wanted to also add its amazing to look back and think how much years I spent trying to save this dead marriage and all the shame and guilt I went through just to end up with the same results with an addict
Legal mate comes over unannounced opens the door and the chaos begins. The dogs are jumping and anxiety in the house begins.
He begins to start asking me if I'm over him?
He's been thinking and wanting to know what I want to do?
Am I seeing anyone ?
Wants to know what I have been doing
Why am I not answering his calls or text messages and he can tell I have gotten stronger
. . . all these questions in about 2 minutes. I didn't answer anything
I looked at him and told him " Look I am tired and watching a movie minding my own business and you want to back me into a corner with this questions"
His whole demeanor changes and he apologizes. I looked at him and told him I want to finish watching my movie.
I couldn't believe I had so much control over me and what I wanted to do in a situation like this.
I stopped and chose not to answer his questions. I chose to finish watching the movie I just bought.
Legal Mate sat there and sulked. Then afterwards I told him I was tired and going to bed and thank you for coming over be careful driving home. He tried to act like he was falling asleep. I told him he better go home before he gets even more tired.
Wow. . I woke up this morning feeling strong and happy that I can see it's not about him it's about me.
Thank you for listening.
PS. I wanted to also add its amazing to look back and think how much years I spent trying to save this dead marriage and all the shame and guilt I went through just to end up with the same results with an addict
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Originally Posted by Seren 
You handled a very charged situation really well, Radiant!
It kind of alarms me though that he was just able to barge in unannounced. Have you thought about changing the locks, etc.?
It kind of alarms me though that he was just able to barge in unannounced. Have you thought about changing the locks, etc.?
I recognized about myself that I seem to blow things off even if there are alarms going on in my head. I am having a hard time with it.
It's hard for me to pat myself on the back when I feel strong and then the next second feel horrible for feeling strong. I have to remind myself it's ok I have the right to be happy and make decisions.
I am so use to knowing if I am happy not to get to happy because he will quickly make it stop.
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Originally Posted by honeypig
Wow, Radiant, you handled yourself so well in that situation! Congratulations on your amazing growth, and best wishes as you continue to move ahead.
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Originally Posted by Recovering2
Great job maintaining your own serenity in spite of his attempt to inject a little chaos into your evening
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Originally Posted by Radiant
Healingwillcome- I love your signature. "Sometimes you don't feel the weight of something you've been carrying until you feel the weight of its release"
It fit me to a tee and made me think of those here who helped me learn how to let go.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
You've really been doing so well Radiant 
Get those locks changed ASAP
How do you like the new job? Does AH know about it yet?
Get those locks changed ASAP
How do you like the new job? Does AH know about it yet?
No I haven't said anything to him since I was going no contact.
Job is another story now. It was good the first 2 weeks now I don't know. But am thankful I have a job.
Just quickly my boss is a RAH that curses everyone out and is very unpredictable. He actually looks like my AH just older
Its a very hostile environment so I am looking for another job. Its sad when the employees want the boss to die and have told you.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
You will find something better work-wise soon and also get more and more handy around the house--don't worry
The important thing is that you are choosing the terms of your own life now and that makes us all happy!
The important thing is that you are choosing the terms of your own life now and that makes us all happy!
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