Eddiebuckle

I think it runs afoul of the spirit of the sixth tradition.

LBrain

I didn't think "Hello Kitty" pajamas would be worn around kids. At least not the "Hello Kitty" pjs my wife wears. As in, "Hel-loooooooo Kitty!"

choublak

This has been discussed before:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...companion.html

Mountainmanbob

seems that a "sober companion"
would be something added to someone's Program
see nothing wrong with that
because
of all those that I know in the AA Program
we all seem to work it just a little bit differently

some work the Steps once
some never
some work the Steps constantly etc etc etc

some as myself and the AA founders
think (thought) that bible studies and church are also recommended
others don't etc etc etc

the two founders of the AA Program
Bill W stayed with Dr Bob (in house) for a long time
could we call him a "sober companion" ??
MM

choublak

LOL @ you putting yourself up there with the AA founders. Ok, guy.

Was Dr. Bob paying Bill W to be his "Sober Sitter"?

Mountainmanbob

I prefer their Program over the one most worked today in AA
MM

littlebird73

Thanks for really making me chuckle Deeker & Carlotta.

hopeful4

Does anyone watch Pretty Little Liars? Last week she (Spencer) had a Sober Companion. When I was watching it I actually thought it was a pretty good idea. Her sober companion was having her excercise and counseling with her, so I am sure that is where differences in cost could come in as in if it is just someone to essentially babysit versus if they offer any actual services like counseling, methods to support recovery, etc.

Just a thought, I have no personal experience.

littlebird73

Eddiebuckle I have had some of the same thoughts. There seemed to be this same dynamic in paying for IOP & before that, residential rehab. My AH says a lot of what he is seeking here is some help working through underlying issues & help restructuring his daily routine. We'll see, I guess. He also told me he was going to start calling his sponsor everyday & go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Haven't seen either of those come to fruition. He even said he was going to not buy any more beer after he ran out. He made almost a full day & broke down & bought a 40 oz. next day he bought a 6-pack, next day he went back to buying cases (he still drinks 3-6 a day, but has to have his stash available or he gets anxious). I never suggested he should go to meetings & have said nothing about any of his drinking. He's going to do or not do what he's going to do or not do regardless of what I say or don't say. It seems now he is putting off the work until the SC arrives or at least that is what I am assuming. He has always had his "last supper" before starting any kind of treatment & drank all through IOP thinking he'd quit toward the end of the program. It's been typical alcoholism.. promised me he'd quit with both kids, promises himself he'll quit when starts each school semester (finishing his degree), always the dreaded day of sobriety is put off. He still says that he'd like to someday get to the point he can drink just occasionally for special occasions. Yeah...I am not fooling myself this time will be any different. The only hope I have is this is the first time he called & sought any kind of help on his own.

littlebird73

Stella27 my AH did consult me about it & wanted to make sure I was alright with it before solidifying the contract, so we are good there. The counseling is a huge part of why my husband chose this as the SC is a trained addictions therapist. For the cost, having someone 24/7 and the therapy, it's a bargain over all the residential programs he was considering. I wasn't planning on moving out. I was planning on asking my AH to move out. We have 2 kids & almost own our home, so my thinking is why should the kids & I have to move out & disrupt our lives bc he is drinking & cheating? I work hard & pay my share. My husband is lucky to have a cool boss & he works in a sober environment (unlike all his other jobs working for alcoholic/drug abusing bosses at places where alcohol was on tap &/or all the coworkers met at a bar after work :/ & he can be honest about the situation. I'm sure the SC won't be hanging over his shoulder his entire time at work. My AH starts drinking on his way home from work usually. I'm sure it just depends on the individual A & the SC how all that works (?)

Fandy

Your husband is lucky to have a "cool wife" who puts up with this garbage having someone come and live in your HOME, 24/7.

wouldn't you just call this a full time babysitter, as he cannot take responsibility for his actions?

and you think this is a "bargain" compared to all the $$$ he wasted on rehab and IOP therapy....

it just amazes me what people waste their hard earned $$ on. Who will be holding his hand when the babysitter leaves?

choublak

Whatever other people choose to spend their money on doesn't affect me.

Aside from which, most grown adults (that I know of) would probably be insulted at the thought of having a live-in nanny. Even elderly people I know of don't want that, and they actually need it.

Sungrl

Just my opinion...I see this going all kinds of wrong

littlebird73

I guess time will tell. I don't equate it with a nanny as he won't be babied & from the sounds of it, it won't be easy, at least not any easier than any other sort of rehab. I'm sure it is not for everyone, but my husband was advised by several professional addiction counselors when he went to IOP, even at the beginning intake interview, that IOP or any sort of outpatient process (including going to meetings daily) probably would not be enough. They all said they strongly suggested residential.They said he scored as high as you can on a questionnaire that is supposed to show the severity of the alcoholism. My husband has been drinking heavily for over 20 years since he was a preteen. He chose IOP because we did not have the money for residential at that time. Earlier when he went to residential he did stay sober for a year, but they had no twelve step program & offered no continuing care plan. My AH didn't get into AA until years after going to rehab. I think he is trying to take some responsibility by hiring a SC that supports his involvement in AA. He acknowledges he cannot quit on his own. He has tried & tried & tried.. I'm not sure this will help, but we cannot afford residential rehab & he's been failing to stop completely on his own. I guess I don't see that as him not taking responsibility, but rather that he has a disease called alcoholism & his is later stage in its development so he does actually need professional help to get better (he just has to be really willing to accept help & really want to quit).

Eddiebuckle

Littlebird,

I know how expensive inpatient rehab is, and was very fortunate to be able to afford a six week program. I doubt I could have stayed sober on my own without that six week break from everything that I was accustomed to. Being surrounded 24/7 by nothing but recovery, getting educated in all aspects of my addiction and recovery, counseling, AA & NA meetings made a huge difference.

After all of that, when I got home I realized how little had changed, I was still living at the "scene of the crime", going to the same grocery store, driving past the same liquor stores, working with the same people... so I went to an AA meeting the next day. It was ok, so I went the day after, and over the next few months that became my routine. I never intended to be one of "those AA people" - I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life hiding out in church basements, chain smoking, b*tching about my life and drinking bad coffee. What I found was that there were people just like me, who had somehow managed to get sober and appeared to have happy lives.

It wasn't until I got the courage to ask one of those people for help that my life started to change. But I had to be desperate enough to ask for that help and trust the person enough to do everything he suggested. I hope your husband has that - we call it the gift of desperation. It is the beginning for many of the folks who now live happy and sober lives.

I pray that is the case for your husband. Thanks for sharing and good luck.

littlebird73

Thank you Eddiebuckle. <3 That is what I am praying for & God-willing this time he is becoming desperate. I know I have hit that point of desperation & I have become one of those meeting people myself in Al-Anon & things have only been getting better..