Old 03-15-2014, 03:22 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 31
Angry update/vent

It's been a while since I've posted here. I'm still at my dad's, and almost done moving out of the apartment. I pretty much just have big things left, and I'll get those soon with my dad. I went there Thursday to shampoo the carpet, and load up the car. My exABF was really nice. Ordered my favorite pizza, and wanted me to stay. I didn't, but felt sad leaving and part of me wanted to stay. Fast forward to today, Saturday.

I received a text @ 10:30am while at work. exABF's daughter went to the neighbor's looking for her friend (who wasn't home) but told her mom that her dad was acting weird, and asked her to call me to come get her. exABF showed up soon after to retrieve his child, and was noticeably drunk. She didn't want to go with him, started crying and begged the girl to call me.

I called her stepdad, who said he had just dropped her off not too much earlier, and he went to pick her up. It was a big dramatic thing with my exABF trying to act like he was fine, and then taking his daughter to the neighbors to apologise. He had the balls to tell her that he had fallen asleep, and his daughter was overreacting. The poor thing didn't know what to say, so she just kept asking to play with her friend, when was she going to be home etc...

While they were there, her stepdad searched the house and found 2 empty vodka bottles, and one open. My exABF said he had some drinks at a friend's house last night, and didn't want to drive, and then admitted that he went to the liquor store at 8:00am.

I clearly made the right decision in leaving, but I can't help but feel sorry for his kid. Like I let her down. Now there's no buffer there. Thank God for the neighbor, but the lease is up at the end of the month, and then what?

I called her stepdad on my way home from work, and he said she was so excited to see her dad today. She got up early, got dressed and kept asking him to call him so she could get there early. I'm going crazy here! How can he do this to her? How is this okay? He needs to be stopped! Why hasn't he gotten a DUI yet?

If you're going to say something about his daughter's mom stepping in, she's no better. She took her out of school over Christmas break, and moved her in with a new guy, and into a new school. 6 weeks later, the new guy kicked her out, and she's back at her old school. She's been staying with her stepdad every night, and he's getting her to school, but she stayed with her mom once last week, and missed school the next day. Daughter's stepdad told me he found a meth pipe next to her mom's jeans on the bathroom floor. Her story? It wasn't hers....if it wasn't hers, why did she have it? If I found a meth pipe, I'm pretty sure the last thing I would do would be to put it in my pocket. And if it's someone's she knows, why is she hanging around people like that??????

This poor kid....I want to be there for her, but I want to be as far away from her dad as I possibly can. And I want to protect her.
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Old 03-15-2014, 03:42 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,712
You know the report process, right?

Tell the school. Tell her teachers. Tell the school counselor. Tell CPS.

IF there are two schools, tell them both. If there are three tell all three.

No Drama nonsense about that will p.o. this jackass or that one, just tell.

No Ducking nonsense about CPS will or will not do this that or the other thing, just tell.

You are only called to do the next right thing. This is it.
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Old 03-15-2014, 11:15 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 31
I don't want her to become a ward of the state. I'm hoping she can spend more time with her stepdad and little brother, where things are more stable. I was pretty close to calling the police today, but her stepdad was able to immediately go and get her.
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Old 03-15-2014, 11:52 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
It is a myth that children go to "foster care" or become wards of the state immediately upon being removed from parents. They ALWAYS look for stable family first then stable friends of family as a placement. The last resort is foster care if there are no acceptable placements. I work in this field. Also the ultimate goal is to help the child and family and make it a safe place for the child. CPS won't just swoop in and pluck the child out of the home. They would offer substance/ alcohol abuse services first.
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