Update: I'm okay, he's either sober or dry drunk
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 182
Update: I'm okay, he's either sober or dry drunk
Hello all
I've been lurking here and there but when I logged on today I had a pop up encouraging me to post so I thought an update might be in order.
I believe I'm moving onwards and upwards with my own recovery. Weekly AlAnon and lots of reading is impacting on choices I make and life, on the whole, is okay. Its not all rainbows and unicorns but I'm having some long awaited decorating done at home and have been sorting lots of "stuff" that needed sorted at work. I'm trying to use at lot of the time that I would have focused on my partners alcoholism to actually focus on me. The results being perfectly groomed toenails and a "sorted" closet among other things.
BF hasn't had a drink since mid December. He has a new job with a very early start and he really appears to be coping for now. Recovery ? I don't know. It's too early to say. Inside my head I wish he was more "into" AA and a recovery programme but I don't voice that, its his business and not every one needs it to get sober. He did go to daily meetings for the first couple of months and now goes on both his days off but that's about the extent of it. Like I said early days and he has to be in charge of his journey.
Our wedding plans for this summer are still on hold. In fact anything permanent for the future is on hold. We spend lots of time together, with lots of sleepovers, I enjoy his company and he makes me smile, but I'm remembering that other things make me smile too ,like lunch with my girlfriend or the movies with my big boys or even bubble baths and candles.
I love him. I would very much like to grow old with him but the one thing I know for sure is that I won't return to the chaos that brought me here last September. If he goes back to drinking I'm out. Its not an ultimatum or a rule or a boundary its just a fact. I won't live my life like that again.
One day at a time.
I've been lurking here and there but when I logged on today I had a pop up encouraging me to post so I thought an update might be in order.
I believe I'm moving onwards and upwards with my own recovery. Weekly AlAnon and lots of reading is impacting on choices I make and life, on the whole, is okay. Its not all rainbows and unicorns but I'm having some long awaited decorating done at home and have been sorting lots of "stuff" that needed sorted at work. I'm trying to use at lot of the time that I would have focused on my partners alcoholism to actually focus on me. The results being perfectly groomed toenails and a "sorted" closet among other things.
BF hasn't had a drink since mid December. He has a new job with a very early start and he really appears to be coping for now. Recovery ? I don't know. It's too early to say. Inside my head I wish he was more "into" AA and a recovery programme but I don't voice that, its his business and not every one needs it to get sober. He did go to daily meetings for the first couple of months and now goes on both his days off but that's about the extent of it. Like I said early days and he has to be in charge of his journey.
Our wedding plans for this summer are still on hold. In fact anything permanent for the future is on hold. We spend lots of time together, with lots of sleepovers, I enjoy his company and he makes me smile, but I'm remembering that other things make me smile too ,like lunch with my girlfriend or the movies with my big boys or even bubble baths and candles.
I love him. I would very much like to grow old with him but the one thing I know for sure is that I won't return to the chaos that brought me here last September. If he goes back to drinking I'm out. Its not an ultimatum or a rule or a boundary its just a fact. I won't live my life like that again.
One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
Thanks for sharing. It looks like a lot has happened and you are on you both are on your paths to recovery. Remember one day at a time. Whether or not he relapses is solely up to him. You keep taking care of you and focusing on your side of the street.You have done a great job so far 
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