How to be a friend?
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Originally Posted by Earthworm 
Then you've answered your own question. If he REALLY wanted out he wouldn't be picking and choosing.
I was in the same situation last year with a friend. And I would not offer them to come and stay. I knew the craziness that would erupt in my house and that she'd go back anyways.
I was in the same situation last year with a friend. And I would not offer them to come and stay. I knew the craziness that would erupt in my house and that she'd go back anyways.
He and AGF have broken up and reunited 1,000 times. She moved in to his apt only a few months ago. They weren't even getting along well when she did but he hoped it would get better. And now he can't get rid of her as she has no where else to go. She has family nearby but they won't take her because of her drinking.
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now he can't get rid of her as she has no where else to go.
You are absolutely right that he has some recovery to do and that letting him move in would be enabling him. It's HIS apartment; he recently allowed her to move in HOPING IT WOULD GET BETTER; and he's not accepting perfectly reasonable outs.
Listen: If he wanted her to move out, he could say: "I want you to move out." He could bag up her stuff, put it in her car, change the locks, and say sayonara. The excuse "she has nowhere else to go" just shows that he is taking responsibility for her as if she were a child. (Yes yes yes. I've been there, done that -- I'm not judging him. I'm just saying I don't for a second think he's really ready to break off the relationship with her.)
I would remove myself as far from this situation as possible.
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