When they're gone/How to be a better parent to the kids
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 785
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
Remind them that you are on the Same Team.
Lead by example - show & share with them the ways that YOU are improving your life and what changes you are making.
Sometimes I have to take a big step back & assess if "it" is something that will help "feed" DD or "teach her how to fish" and if it falls squarely into one or the other category, it's a no-brainer.
If I examine my actions & find that I'm accepting her bad behavior out of guilt then I try to stop before proceeding because that generally means I'm probably not handling this situation with the right intent.
*Sometimes* I can use her treatment of others as a measurement too - if she's crossing boundaries with me in a way she would never do with a coach or teacher, I point it out & ask her why she thinks it's ok & I try to get her to see the hypocrisy for herself so that she can judge her own future behavior without someone else pointing it out for her.
She knows the difference between my "mom" & "family" time vs. my "FireSprite" time and even refers to it that way. As moms we tend to accept crossed boundaries with our kids more easily than we would from others - it's just nature.
Lead by example - show & share with them the ways that YOU are improving your life and what changes you are making.
Sometimes I have to take a big step back & assess if "it" is something that will help "feed" DD or "teach her how to fish" and if it falls squarely into one or the other category, it's a no-brainer.
If I examine my actions & find that I'm accepting her bad behavior out of guilt then I try to stop before proceeding because that generally means I'm probably not handling this situation with the right intent.
*Sometimes* I can use her treatment of others as a measurement too - if she's crossing boundaries with me in a way she would never do with a coach or teacher, I point it out & ask her why she thinks it's ok & I try to get her to see the hypocrisy for herself so that she can judge her own future behavior without someone else pointing it out for her.
She knows the difference between my "mom" & "family" time vs. my "FireSprite" time and even refers to it that way. As moms we tend to accept crossed boundaries with our kids more easily than we would from others - it's just nature.
And, I love the feeding vs teaching her to fish. This is especially true at my children's ages. Depending on how you look at it, the good/bad thing about teenagers is that they are more about 'me' time than 'family' time. We definitely still do things together as a family but they are great about respecting my 'me' time!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
