My soul is ripping
 

It hurts. I'm starting to see so much. Past and present. I start to think I'm wrong and making a big deal out of things when something knocks me down. He's working out of town right now. He doesn't do that often anymore but has because of the weather problems. He left Sunday. One daughter has a pageant today and he won't be there. It could truly be that he can't leave. We r just used to him making things happen to be there. We have another (adult) daughter who is having major surgery Tuesday. He said he may not be home then. He's about 4-5 hours away which is nothing for him. In the past he would have told his boss the situation and been home. No matter what!
He is not communicating as much as he used to. That hurts a lot. I do believe we are soulmates. We have been married 29 years. I'm so afraid of the future. I went to al-anon a few times but haven't lately for one reason or another. Most of the meetings are at night later than I can go.

Oh, giliji! I'm sorry you are hurting...sending you hugs!

I hope your one daughter's pageant goes well!!! Your daughter who is having surgery will be in my prayers...as will you all.

How are you feeling tonight, giliji? How did the pageant go?!

My daughter placed 2nd runner up for 8th grade. She did great. I struggled all day. I wanted to enjoy her day with her since she was upset her dad couldn't be there.
I'm so tired. I'm tired of showing a strong front especially in front of my kids. I just want to curl up under the covers and make the world go away.
I read the article you posted/reposted about how an alcoholic thinks/acts. Thank you for that. I've saved it to read over again.

I'm so,sorry

Seren thank you for the prayers for my daughter. I'm worried. She has had problems before and came very close to dying. Fortunately the dr doing the surgery is the same who saved her life twice. I'm not exaggerating. I will be glad when its over and she's ok.

giliji :hug:

Your precious girl remains in my prayers! Please let us know how everything goes.

So happy you got to spend that time with your lovely pageant girl--2nd place!! That is wonderful news!

Post here, vent, cry, whatever you need to do. We are walking with you.