ME week--1st al anon meeting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 81
ME week--1st al anon meeting!
As some of you read, since my (r)A(BF?)(it's complicated) relapsed on Sunday I decided that I needed to make ME a priority--what a novel idea!
I went to my first Al Anon meeting tonight. It was very... warm. There were only six of us, and I was the only newbie. Before I shared I said I would probably start crying and someone offered that they cried their first time too, which made me feel better when I lost it approximately 0.5 seconds in. The topic was essentially Steps 1-3 and I realized that even though I've been a member of this site since September I JUST hit Step 1. Slow progress is still progress!
It both was and wasn't what I expected. I think I was expecting a live version of SR. In some respects, it was similar. In other ways, it was different. Nobody told me what I should do--I think that's something that's wrong with this site (sorry everybody. You're lovely but does telling the A what to do work? Then why should it work on us?) I felt very supported. I will go back.
I'm wavering on ending things with A. I don't think it's a bad thing. We haven't been NC but we've kept some distance this week. Normally, as a long-distance relationship, we're constantly texting. This week it's been a short conversation each evening. I am cautious to not let it get too "couply"/chatty. We've only talked about recovery--mine and his. Unbeknownst to me at the time, while I was in Al Anon this evening, he was in AA.
In a way I actually feel better about our relationship that I did before this relapse because I've decided that I'm not settling for Halfway Him anymore. If he gets better and I get better? Awesome. If he doesn't? I won't do it. I'm not settling for anything less than ALL of him. Even between relapses, I didn't have all of him.
Tomorrow I have a therapy session and am also giving guided meditation a try. My A also has his therapy session (his second). I feel like for the first time I'm not trying to carry him into recovery. I feel like we're each walking our own paths. Hopefully some day those paths will converge and we can walk together instead of leaning on each other. If they don't, I still have my own path to walk.
I went to my first Al Anon meeting tonight. It was very... warm. There were only six of us, and I was the only newbie. Before I shared I said I would probably start crying and someone offered that they cried their first time too, which made me feel better when I lost it approximately 0.5 seconds in. The topic was essentially Steps 1-3 and I realized that even though I've been a member of this site since September I JUST hit Step 1. Slow progress is still progress!
It both was and wasn't what I expected. I think I was expecting a live version of SR. In some respects, it was similar. In other ways, it was different. Nobody told me what I should do--I think that's something that's wrong with this site (sorry everybody. You're lovely but does telling the A what to do work? Then why should it work on us?) I felt very supported. I will go back.
I'm wavering on ending things with A. I don't think it's a bad thing. We haven't been NC but we've kept some distance this week. Normally, as a long-distance relationship, we're constantly texting. This week it's been a short conversation each evening. I am cautious to not let it get too "couply"/chatty. We've only talked about recovery--mine and his. Unbeknownst to me at the time, while I was in Al Anon this evening, he was in AA.
In a way I actually feel better about our relationship that I did before this relapse because I've decided that I'm not settling for Halfway Him anymore. If he gets better and I get better? Awesome. If he doesn't? I won't do it. I'm not settling for anything less than ALL of him. Even between relapses, I didn't have all of him.
Tomorrow I have a therapy session and am also giving guided meditation a try. My A also has his therapy session (his second). I feel like for the first time I'm not trying to carry him into recovery. I feel like we're each walking our own paths. Hopefully some day those paths will converge and we can walk together instead of leaning on each other. If they don't, I still have my own path to walk.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
So glad your first meeting was a good experience for you! Sometimes a small meeting can be especially good for a newcomer.
If you have access to more than one meeting in your area, you may want to check out several different ones. They can have very different vibes, and you may find some are more comfortable and/or useful to you than others. You may also find you want to go more than one time a week.
Again, very happy that you found help in Alanon, and thanks for posting for those who may be on the fence still.
If you have access to more than one meeting in your area, you may want to check out several different ones. They can have very different vibes, and you may find some are more comfortable and/or useful to you than others. You may also find you want to go more than one time a week.
Again, very happy that you found help in Alanon, and thanks for posting for those who may be on the fence still.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
