Guess who's coming home
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
K, If your Drama-thermo-meter is not maxing out, you might need to get it adjusted.
Remember a day or two ago, I was cautioning that All. Crazy. All. The. Time. is to kind of be expected for the first 3 to 6 months?
It really is. And it just is what it is. Does all this sound like a bunch of Crazy to you?
Here is the thing about that Crazy stuff.
When *they* are going Crazy . . . . *We* do not go with them.
and this part . . .
SUPER! SUPER! SUPER!
Remember a day or two ago, I was cautioning that All. Crazy. All. The. Time. is to kind of be expected for the first 3 to 6 months?
It really is. And it just is what it is. Does all this sound like a bunch of Crazy to you?
Here is the thing about that Crazy stuff.
When *they* are going Crazy . . . . *We* do not go with them.
and this part . . .
I've started working the steps with my sponsor who I have called twice now. I went to my 3rd therapy session this morning.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: My Happy Place
Posts: 700
Proceed with caution! I would still be livid over the abandonment of the last few days. Are you going to find out where he was? Would he tell you the truth anyway? I would not let him in the front door. Please make your boundries crystal clear and hold on to them for dear life. Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 93
I fell for AH's words too. Looks like you have set up some awesome boundaries though. Good for you! A word of advice: one of the counselors from one of his rehabs said that we needed a "formal contract" that CLEARLY stated what I would tolerate and what his consequence would be.
For example, he had to sleep in the spare bedroom as soon as he had a slip for x amount of time. If he slipped again, he had to live else where for x amount of time. This way, he cannot dispute your boundaries. Just an idea!
I also had to suffer my own consequences....such as "no sly remarks about the past"...which was hard for me to do! I honestly didn't realize just how hateful I had become.
Keep up the good work!!
For example, he had to sleep in the spare bedroom as soon as he had a slip for x amount of time. If he slipped again, he had to live else where for x amount of time. This way, he cannot dispute your boundaries. Just an idea!
I also had to suffer my own consequences....such as "no sly remarks about the past"...which was hard for me to do! I honestly didn't realize just how hateful I had become.
Keep up the good work!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Originally Posted by Raider 
I know I have no experience so you can disregard this post if you wish. But I have a big mouth so I'm going for it.....I'm scared for you. It doesn't sound right to me. Something smells fishy. I don't trust him. I think he will hurt you again. Ok I said it. Good luck Honey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by Raider
I know I have no experience so you can disregard this post if you wish. But I have a big mouth so I'm going for it.....I'm scared for you. It doesn't sound right to me. Something smells fishy. I don't trust him. I think he will hurt you again. Ok I said it. Good luck Honey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by Katchie
If I need a swift kick in the britches in the near future, you all please give it to me...I will bend over and say thank you may I have another!
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by Katchie
There isn't a shred of trust in me for him. I'm not giving it a whirl for that reason. It's all fishy and pathetic. I'm giving this a shot for me and for my boys. I will never look back and say I didn't give it a try and neither will my boys. I think if he left again tomorrow I'd be Ok with that, I don't think I'd be fazed. So I'm trying to go into this with eyes wide open that nothing is real and then pray like heck that both of us change
Really good description for it all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Originally Posted by Hammer
Fully. FULLY. Understand.
Really good description for it all.
Really good description for it all.
Sorry I'm a little slow. It's been a pattern for years..lol
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Your reasoning. It is way better expressed but near same as mine.
I have been going through this crap for the last year.
ONLY reason is the kids and "us" as a maybe.
One low point . . . if you want the too long version . . .
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-me-well.html
I have been going through this crap for the last year.
ONLY reason is the kids and "us" as a maybe.
One low point . . . if you want the too long version . . .
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-me-well.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Originally Posted by AlcoholicLove
Alcoholic mind games...God they are so good at it.
"More will be revealed"
"More will be revealed"
what a smart daughter you have..
I'm rooting for all of to soon be in a better place very very soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 209
May I add, the A I had been seeing for the past 2 years is now going into his 3rd year of sobriety.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.
Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.
Proceed with caution Katchie.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.
Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.
Proceed with caution Katchie.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Bravo...I am starting to see the same thing in my AH...or I have seen it and am realizing my kids do too. What a shame!
Hugs.
Hugs.
Originally Posted by AlcoholicLove
May I add, the A I had been seeing for the past 2 years is now going into his 3rd year of sobriety.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.
Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.
Proceed with caution Katchie.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.
Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.
Proceed with caution Katchie.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Originally Posted by AlcoholicLove
May I add, the A I had been seeing for the past 2 years is now going into his 3rd year of sobriety.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.
Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.
Proceed with caution Katchie.
You know what I realized?
He is still the same lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk he was before.
Take the alcohol away from a lying, cheating, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill jerk and what do you end up with (sometimes)...Yep, you guessed it.
Proceed with caution Katchie.
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