Katchie

I made one of the hardest phone calls today. I called my folks and my stepmom, who I love dearly, answered. I told her I had something very hard to tell her and that its something that has been a problem for a very long time and I've kept a secret. I told her I am going to alanon because my husband has been an alcoholic for a long time and Ive just come out of my denial. I told her about my talk with AH Dec. 31st and that if things didn't shape up I would be leaving him. She was so open, caring, understanding, and nonjudgmental that I broke down in tears. She said a beautiful prayer over me then told me they would be there for me if I needed anything. I should have told them a long time ago for the support I now know they would give me. At the same time, I know I wasn't ready to do it until today. Boy, did this unleash a floodgate of emotions. I just hope my husband doesn't come home and see me like this.

hopeful4

I am so so so proud of you!!! To step out of denial is an amazing thing that will widen your support system. I am glad they were so supportive for you.

God Bless my friend!

FireSprite

Katchie - that is a wonderful step for you to take. I remember the relief of "coming clean" with the secrets & learning how to ask for help. I am so glad you found love & support on the other end of the phone.

You are handling this recovery "stuff" really well!!!

lillamy

I'm so glad you did it, and so glad you got the response you did. Having people around you who support you makes everything so much easier. (((hugs)))

dandylion

Katchie---why do you care if your husband sees you cry or sees expressions of emotion from you?? Really.....what is the big deal----after all, you are a human being. It is normal and useful for humans to express their emotions outwardly, at times. So---you are human. That isn't a secret is it.......?

I don't mean this in a sarcastic way, at all......it really is a real question.

kindly,
dandylion

Katchie

You're question doesn't bother me so no worries. I don't know the answer to it though. Expressing anger, hurt, or crying has always been private to me. I don't know why. I know its not healthy and creates a lot of anxiety for me, but its just so HARD for me to do. Even when my grandparents, who I was very close to, and my mother passed away, it was hard and shameful feeling to cry in front of others. I wish I had an answer to that.

changeneeded

Good for you Katchie!!

I was just going to "check in" on you.
Maybe your day be blessed and all that "weight" that we co's tend to carry, be lifted.

blake1989

Amazing Katchie. The strength it took to do that cannot be overlooked. So proud of you.

Katchie

my dad couldnt resist calling me back to talk about my situation. I knew he would do this, he's just that way. He likened the possibility of me divorcing my AH to the divorce of he and my mother. I told him not to compare what my mother did to him to what was going on with me -- its totally different. As I shared more with him, he backed down and said he was supportive.
I've just kept such good appearances that no one suspected. Anyone who knows my H loves him. He has one of those personalities. I really hate ALL aspects of this and what it does to me, my kids, our family ....

Seren

Sending you hugs and prayers of support, katchie. Addiction thrives in secrecy...part of healing, in my experience, is getting it out into the open.

JustAGirl1971

Wow, Katchie! You're making so much progress lately I'm glad your stepmom was supportive!