Snood

Thanks, FeelingGreat,

Please don't undermine this as one of my three places to vent...it helps to keep me as sane as possible.

It was her birthday today. The card, poem and present went down well enough. I went to archery, as she'd invited SD over. Came back, lots of booze in her and the viciousness was back.

As I pointed out, I'm not the kind of man who'd eject people from the car at a distance from home. But as regards my wife and her behaviour, the SD, SS and even former husband, there's one thing she cannot do.

I am a person, an agent in my own right. She may be able to manipulate my actions but she most certainly can't prevent me from thinking.

FeelingGreat

Sorry Snood I didn't mean to undermine you, and of course vent as much as you like. It's just that you're obviously miserable. But also give some thought to whether separating is an option, even if it's a matter of tiny steps like just talking to a lawyer.

xmrscran

I take effexor, have for over a year now, 150mg daily of XR. It works well, I don't think it makes me want to get out of bed in the morning, but it definitely helps me slog through the day.

Hawkeye13

Hi Snood;

Sorry you're having a rough time with her after you did those nice things especially.

How did the shooting go? Is that new bow everything you'd hoped?

How does scoring work with your club?
I shoot my rifle and shotgun on my farm at a target we make and count the hits and how close. What do you do?

Snood

It's OK FeelingGreat, my apologies for snapping...I was suffering bitchery again.

Frustration is one of the worst parts, it's soooo hard to cope with what is essentially schizophrenic behaviour.

My best friend is a lawyer (criminal, not.divorce) and we've talked a lot. Recrimination is on its way but I won' t spoil her.birthday weekend.

Snood

Thanks for the useful info. I'm on 75mg and it's one week tmorrow. No beneficial effect as yet but no evident side effects. I'm certainly less sedated.

I don't do mornings! That's a result of being a deadline-keeping freelancer for years. I'll often work until dawn though!

I'll keep.you posted.

Snood

Thanks, Hawk.

My Merlin XT has everything I expected. It's both fast and forgiving, which is what I needed. The good part is that a fellow compound shooter has appeared, so we can swop hints and tips.

We have printed targets at both clubs. The archery ones score up to 10 and we 'score inwards'...hit the line and you're a point up. Indoor range =22 yards.

For the.rifle, I shoot at cards with ten, two-inch targets at 25 yards. A bullseye is 10 points but touch the line and that's a point gone. My personal best is 99 but I was only 1/16 inch off 100 last week.

I've also been shooting at clay pigeons with a 12-bore shotgun (skeet shooting). Have you tried that? What range are you shooting, and what kind of rifle do you use?

All the best, S

AnvilheadII

Recrimination is on its way but I won' t spoil her.birthday weekend.

snood, my dear friend, don't you see? you don't have any affect on her birthday weekend. you are not part of the equation.

and i'm sorry, who the hell in this world gets to celebrate their BD ALL weekend? do you know what we did for MY BD back in October? i don't remember either. i gave up having BD parties and wearing the tiara when i was about 10 years old.

you honor this snarky b!tchy meanass drunk like she's the f'ing Queen of England. she's NOT. treat her like a GROWN UP, not a princess. a full grown adult, like you would one of your mates. (and THEN boot her ass out!).

shil2587

You mention you work late nights. I assume that means you sleep during daylight hours? I have noticed that I can get very depressed when I don't get enough sunlight. I also read somewhere that the time of day/night that you get your 8 hours can severely affect mood. Might be worth trying to get into a better sleep routine, I really notice my mood plummet when I don't.

Also, many people I know are starting to try daylight bulbs. They make a huge impact on boosting my mood and the moods of everyone else I know who has tried them.

Just a thought.

redatlanta

I second Anvilhead - maybe put some thought into why you would go the distance to assure a great birthday for her - why are you celebrating her? Her behavior is appalling.

Birthday weekend = boozfest. Why attend? You are just gonna get smacked down and complained to about everything you did wrong.

Time to start taking care of yourself.

Snood

Thanks again, ladies and gentlemen.

Some laptop trouble has been keeping me off the web and over-occupied. I've been virussed and will have to go back to factory defaults asap.

You're quite right, AnvilheadII. I was only part of the birthday thing inasmuch as I was the taxi driver, the provider of a present and the one from whom to seek compliments although the dressing up wasn't for me. At least the SD paid - I saw her using her credit card. I reckon my wife needs a kick up the derrière anyway - as a welcome to the real world!

shil2587, I think you're referring to S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder), which I can honestly say has never bothered me. Mine is reactive depression (unsurprisingly), brought about by circumstances, some beyond my control. But I appreciate the advice. My weird hours come from having been self-employed for decades, and I like them as they are. I just don't do mornings as a rule!

And Redatlanta, you also are perfectly right. I think I try to do what I do for two reasons - I'm a kind, patient person...and I like a quiet life That said, it's very, very tempting.

If I am to be mistrusted, perhaps I should do untrustworthy things (apart from my secret, therapeutic communications, etc.). If I'm thought of as being reckless with money, perhaps I should be selfish and greedy too. And no intimacy over the last 32 months? Maybe a little freelancing...

Once again, food for thought.

Sungrl

Just get out of the relationship Snood. No food for thought needed.

Just the thought of somebody acting in that way, drunk or not just kinda grinds my gears.

Don't let her USE you for another second.