Lillypad90

After months of going it over my head and thinking what is the best way to leave, i did it.
I came home from work today and that is the first thing i said to him. "I am moving back in with my mom with our daughter". He had to double check with me and make sure that I was breaking up with him.
After I nodded, he didn't want to talk to me. He ignored my efforts in talking about how I feel and just told me, "just leave already".I grabbed a few things for my daughter and I and left.

He texted me asking me "So, what is his name and don't ******* lie to me" I swore on my daughter and on my dad that there is no one, but he doesn't believe me. He told me that if I come back to the house he would already be gone.

The thing is that I own my house and i wanted to stay at my moms so i can pay all the back payments and get on good terms so i can get an apartment. I was thinking about renting the house to my brother but if he doesn't want to, I don't want the house anymore. I want to be able to give it up and be able to move on with my life. the thing is is that I just bought the house last year and I went through an "escrow sell" where no bank were involved. And even if I put the house up for sale, there are so many things that need to be fix such as the carpet, the walls, the garage door. the list can go on and on.

So i guess my question is what do i do about the situation i am in. I want an apartment for just me and my daughter so I don't have to worry too much
anything helps!

AnvilheadII

how about first things first! you just broke up....you need to stay strong and make that stick. stay safe, and give your mom a hug for taking you in! you can figure out how to conquer the world tomorrow....ok, might take a few days. get to a calm space and then start to work on a plan and think thru ALL your options....flesh out the financial aspects...and then make a level headed mature decision that works to your benefit.

you did good kiddo!

suki44883

If you really don't want to keep the house and you aren't concerned with money, you can always sell your house to one of those "cash for houses" places. They don't give you nearly what it's worth, but it's a way to get out from under it.

Lillypad90

AH! i know i feel like i am free now, like i can breathe!

and i completely did not consider those "cash for houses" we have signs all over the place. I think that will be my last resort in case of anything!

thanks for the idea!

MissFixit

Good for you Lillypad! You are making really wise choices for yourself and your baby.

Lillypad90

So I'm hanging out trying to relax in a relaxing environment and all
I can think about is him.

What is he doing?
Where is he?
Is he with anybody right now?

I feel like I am losing something that I can easily have but am I willing to go back to that whole situation again. No. But is this how it usually feels? I need some creative outlets to get over this feeling.

Mags1

Hi Lillypad, I'd just like to say you are one sensible , savvy young lady. I wish you well in where your life takes you and your daughter.peace be with you both. Lots of love Mags x

Lillypad90

Thank you so much. It took 4 1/2 years but I realized that there has got to be something better in life than the situation I was in

FeelingGreat

Lilypad your previous thread made a lot of us worry for you and I'm so glad you've been able to break off with this psycho. Is he still living in YOUR house? If he is, you will need to get him out. You might need to seek legal advice, and given that you reported him for choking you, you might get police support as well if you decide to get the locks changed.
Do you want to sell the house because of the memories? Perhaps you feel unsafe there? I'm thinking you might be able to leave it for a while and see how you feel then. The main thing is to get him out.
If he threatens you in any way, verbal, stalking, text messages, please get a court order so you can call the police if he shows up. We know he's dangerous.
Well done you.

Lillypad90

Yes he is still there now. I feel obligated to have him there because his father is living with in the house also and he has nowhere to go. I think I want to sell the house because of the memories and it is an environment that I do not want to raise my child, wether he is living there or not. Plus, I feel like I got this house out of an impulse because the offer was on the table and at that time I felt that maybe it would make things better. He did tell me that he was leaving and that he wouldn't be there when I went back, which is a good thing because then I do not have to do it because I don't want to be in that situation where he has been drinking and then I lay that news on him and things escalate badly. I just have to figure out what is going on with his father because the only other family he has is in Washington or Oregon but he is on social security and is trying to get his license.

My situation is a mess that needs to be cleaned BIG TIME.

Lulu39

You could evict your X and his father. It's your house. They are NOT your problem.

KateL

Well done and good luck xx