rry1177

It sucks because we get along well and my son really likes him. BUT.... he has not been putting forth 100% into looking for full time work and has not contributed any money to the household for 3 months now. He goes to his part time which pays enough to gas the truck, buy ciggies and alcohol. He's gone through a jug (I don't know the measurement,but the bottle with the damn handle on it) in less than a week. I went codie for the last couple of weeks and snooped. I'm not proud for snooping, but I needed even more proof (smh) to shake me out of this fantasy. The majority of his day is watching movies, porn, and eating everything that doesn't eat him first. The groceries he has bought was things he liked.....really? The selfishness and entitlement is infuriating.

I came up with great reasons to let him stay: He's in school, so he'll get a job when he gets out....Schools out let's give him time to apply at a few places...It's cold here and maybe I should wait til the weather breaks...He replaced the faucet yesterday, maybe he'll....OMG. I'm trying to be easy on myself, but if I could literally kick my own butt...

We are holding each other back and I can't deal with this treatment anymore. He'll swear he's looking for work, but that's all he's doing is LOOKING. I don't think he wants to work, because child support will take almost all of it. He received a nice check a few months ago and instead of hiring lawyer to modify child support, he bought a car--which still is not plated so he can't drive it.

I know he's depressed, but who hasn't been? My higher power is God, and God has protected me because I was about to purchase a property in the hopes that it would spur more effort on his part for our "real estate dream". Guess what? My offers were rejected. God protected me and nobody can tell me different.

So.....when he gets back from work, I'm going to tell him that we are no good for each other and this relationship has to end. I've been putting it off for days for no reason other than dread. He will never do more until he's forced, which really pisses me off and I'm trying not to take it personally. It's sad, but a future with him will be even more miserable.

If/when he tries to protest/defend/cry or whatever, I have one question for him: "How would you feel if your daughter was in a relationship like this?" and I hope I have the chance to ask just to see if he quacks or shuts up. I will NEVER put myself through this again. NEVER...and I never say never.

chicory

Not easy to have a talk like that, but easier now than down the road with more red tape to untangle. You sound like a nice person, and wouldn't it be nice to find someone as giving as yourself?

best to you.

Brolynbub

I used that on my partner...I said if this was your daughter and you were watching her go through this how would you feel...he hated it. Good for you for doing it, it's hard and your bf is like mine with work, he sits on his butt on the computer instead of looking for work.
Good luck!