| graceandbeauty0 | 02-08-2014 08:45 PM |
I finally woke up
I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying these last 3 weeks since my abf of 6 years broke up with me. I gave myself the pity party and said poor me that he ended things with me. But as I read more stories and listen to people in al anon and AA, I am starting to think that maybe it's not the worst thing in the world that we didn't end up together.
The hardest part of the break up is that we were probably at the healthiest and most amazing time of our relationship that we have ever been in the last 6 years. He was in AA and I was in al anon and we were both working our programs. He has been clean for 9 months now and it broke my heart that he got clean and sober and then ended things with me. But 9 months in the grand scheme of his life is really nothing. he has been using for over 12 years of his life and he's only 27 years old. That means he still has 60+ years or less of sobriety that he needs to maintain, and that means there's so many chances and opportunities that he can relapse, but believe me i don't wish it on him ever. I only wish the best for him and pray for him every day.
But I think I finally woke up and realized that it's okay that i'm heartbroken and in pain right now because I know that God has a plan for me. I know that God wants me to be happy and appreciate life on my own but also have a partner one day to grow with and embrace life together. I have been given an opportunity that i thought I never wanted because I was so convinced that my abf was the one and we were gonna live happily ever after.
Sorry for the long post, but I think it's a great feeling when you know God is working on your side and even with the pain and struggles of life, it can something great, as long as you're willing to grow from all your experiences, and believe me I've grown so much from loving my bf. He was definitely a wonderful amazing first love that will always have a special place in my heart. | 