Courage To Change 02/08/2013
 

I like people, and at one time I wanted everyone to be my friend. With the best of intentions, I tried to encourage friendships with certain individuals, although my attempts were repeatedly, discreetly rebuffed.
I was comforted by the words I heard at the close of each Al-Anon meeting: "…though you might not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you." It was an important lesson that, while I can't have everyone's friendship, I can offer and receive respect, support, and understanding. Patience and humility soothed my wounded pride.

Today's Reminder

It is unrealistic to expect everyone to like me. With such an expectation, I set myself up to fail and give myself an excuse to blame that failure on others. I can't change other people, but I can change my own attitudes. I can let go of my rules about how others should feel about me. When I am disappointed in another's response, I can make an extra effort to be kind, warm, and loving to myself. I am lovable just the way I am.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

This is wonderful, Carlotta!! A member here (my apologies because I cannot remember who at the moment) shared something their therapist said:

Question: "Do you like Lima beans?"
Answer: "No, I don't."
Question: "Well, is there anything wrong with Lima beans?"
Answer: "No. I just don't happen to like them."

You see, some people will be like Lima beans for us...and we will be like Lima beans for them. We, nor they, are inherently wrong or bad or unlovable....just not to someone's liking. And you know what, that's OK :)