readerbaby71

I'm sorry, I have to disagree on this one. Taking a break from recovery and related things for a day or two does not automatically mean one is headed for a relapse. That's the kind of all or nothing thinking that rubs me the wrong way when it comes to 12-step programs. People have brains and free will and are perfectly capable of making positive, rational decisions even when they're not framed in the context of recovery.

FireSprite

Close enough - about 45 mins away because traffic is so heavy getting over the bridges to the beach. Our weather is nice this weekend, I haven't done this in a while... good idea!

readerbaby71

My mom lives in the St. Pete/Clearwater area. I love the beaches around there, but the traffic is nuts!

FireSprite

Especially at this time of year, geesh! We are a bit further south but it's the same kind of traffic snarls, ick.

choublak

I think you're beating yourself up.

And I can't really answer your question, because I don't see "recovery" as being in a box or something, like here's recovery and over here is just life.

GreenBottles

I was looking at Clearwater on Google Maps and then on youtube and Oh My that looks like a wonderful peaceful exciting happy place to waltz along the beach. And Siesta looks awesome too with those wonderful sand scultpures.

Pamel

How about an afternoon at the library? We all forget about this FREE!! resource, and how wonderful an unplanned couple of hours just browsing books can be...

GreenBottles

I live 200 meters from the beach here in Floripa and my business model I consciously designed so as to never have to leave my local community and have everything I need delivered to me and buy everything I need over the internet.

Cause traffic sucks, in Brasil too.


But I live 200 meters from the beach but go down there about one every two weeks. It is not the actual going to the beach that is the joy of it, its the fact that I CAN that gives me joy.
And this weirdness also shows me something. Although it is very very peaceful here at my house. No noise from construction (all the houses are finished) and no cars, just birds and my dog. Makes such a difference to overall well being. No thieves to fear....all the neighbours watch out for each other...
And also, next door to me, the world champion of Skate Bowl. kkkkkkkk I love the sound of skate ramps and bowls, and children playing in them.

GreenBottles

Ah, forgive me but the internet is actually 1 million times faster and better than an old-school state library. kkkkkkkkk
I think you get pleasure in a library for every other reason than the resources it lacks compared to the internet.

FireSprite

We actually love the library, we go at least every 7-10 days. I love browsing through the new titles section & just seeing what catches my eye.

FireSprite

Siesta Key is GORGEOUS. A bit out of our way but we go during the summer every year. They also do a drum circle every Sunday night at sunset that I have been wanting to check out for a while. Forgot about that!!

Pamel

Actually GreenBottles, I thought of the library because it gets one AWAY from the computer. (Reminding myself, really, as I use the computer way too much. It is the "other" pleasures that I unexpectedly enjoy.)

You also made me think that maybe one of the reasons we are all so stressed is that "1 million times faster and better" leaves us no "down" time.

Firesprite, I love the "mini-vacation" of the library, and I guess you already know that pleasure. Another thing that gets me out of the day is to take a short walk with my tattered "tree" guide. I used to do a "walking meditation" in NYC where I would walk and not read anything! Very hard, but very engrossing. When I was complaining to an (American Indian) friend of mine that I missed that, he said "What about walking here?" (in the woods)

"Too boring!" I said. His reply: "Do you know what you are looking at?"

Nope. Guide in hand, I am leaving now...

Stung

I feel this way sometimes, but like you, I'm an over thinker if I don't keep it in check. I make lists, make schedules, plan and double check my plans. Sometimes a little spontaneity to do something that wasn't planned for gives me that little break that I was looking for. Really, its more that I want a break from being responsible for everything, or at least a break from feeling that way.

DG0409

I find that when I feel like I need a break from recovery, it means that I need to re-examine what I am doing for my recovery and do something MORE for it. But that doesn't necessarily mean working harder at it, but maybe working differently at it.

The whole point of recovery is to work towards being the sort of people we want to be and living life in the way we really want to.

If I'm feeling burnt out on it, that doesn't mean I need a break FROM my recovery. It means I need to do something fun or relaxing as PART of my recovery.

Recovery doesn't have to just mean reading up on addiction and codependency. Getting out and having fun is part of it too.

JustAGirl1971

I lived in the Siesta Key area many years ago. So many great beaches around there.

DG0409

What a great link. Thanks. I've started listening to these. Not only are there lots of good points, but they have me cracking up laughing.

CodeJob

Thanks so much for this post thread everyone. I mulled this over most of the week. I really liked so many of the varying responses and clarification of how wanting to take a break might be just have some fun - something we should be allowing. I think the beauty in this thread is there is more than one way.

Before replying today I retook the Al Anon quiz up in the links. I scored a 6 today. Many of the questions don't relate at all now to my daily experience as my H is in R. I read through them and realized many of them were now, "Nope, though that used to be a yes."

But as many of us know, our movie doesn't end happily when they finally put the bottle down. We both need to learn a different way to live. I've taken some breaks in my recovery. For me I am not on a timeline or a strict plan. But when I cycle back, I almost think that my mind was subconsciously Accepting new truths.

When H gets in a snit that he wants a chore done his way, I see the control mechanism and don't react by jumping up and doing it, fixing it, apologizing or feeling guilty. I just shrug my shoulder. Yesterday I met someone at work and after leaving the meeting I wondered perhaps she was a narcissist. It was so helpful to not take her crazy personally and realize she treats everyone crazy. No guilt wondering, "what did I do to her? Did she hear something about me from someone else?"

When Philip Seymour Hoffmann died this week, I felt bad for his partner. I totally knew why in a whole new way why he had his own spot in the neighborhood. He'd relapsed and she did what she could. 23 years clean and he lost his life going back. That pull of addiction scares me the most, and that is why I continue recovery. I want to have more tools in my emotional arsenal. I want to be strong and calm if my H goes back.

It's not even a year yet and I've learned so much. It has changed me greatly. Thanks again for all of the wisdom here. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Erod

FIreS---I think I know exactly what your saying. It's not that you don't love yoru Reovering Husband or DD it jsut feels like at times it's JUST TO MUCH WORK. I Know that feeling. I'm going to have to start Al-anon up again due to my situation. Fro instance right now I feel very Angry--at my Fiance. He put himself into detox...with that said I'm full of resentment, not becuase he's in rehab,,..but all the crap prior to it. ALSO with this said...I'm hoping it helps...If I started Al-non way back when....I would'NT be dealign with these resentments differently I CAN promise you that. I do however understand. I have 23 years of sobriety and I have to continually keep in mind the things I learned. IT takes ALOT OF EFFORT in both AA and Al-Anon. the bottom line is......your hubby would'nt be tolerable if he Picked up again,...Not sure aobut yoru DD but you mentioned her. As much as I get tired and force--YES tha'ts the word force myself to do and think AA and Al-Anon I have to keep in mind with out the teaching I'vel leanred from both...where wouldI be today. Probably in a half way house. the past few days I keep thinking do I even want to stay with my fiance...and I KNWO I have to STAY in the day or I'll go nuts all day...I've had stinking thinking all morning,...but YOU my friend have just helped me. YOu see tha'ts how this all works. We get what we need. By me wirtting to youm,,I've relized I have to live my life as what was taught me Or I'll pick up or die with resentlments. It's alot of work and agian I understnad it ALL of what yoru saying...but think about the srenity you have today compared to what you may not have had with the alcolic was drinking. I knwo. I know...there was a certain Peace there too. I knwo for m. my last live in...I knew My weekends were to myself becuase he was always drunk and asleep. this oen is different he's always awake and get son my nerves. but those day wiht the first live-in...I was lonely,..going out alone. visiting famiy alone. entil finally I ended it after 12 years and he was still active. I did'tn have serenity then...I was a mess...Today I feel so much better about myself and have much more strength to do what I have to do When the time comes with my fiance. So with this ALL Said "ODAT" GF. Many Hugs. Erod

honeypig

Firesprite, I totally hear you about taking a break. Sometimes I just want to lie in bed w/a pot of tea and a courtroom thriller and turn everything else off for a while. Books are a great escape for me, and while I've gotten a lot of benefit out of my recovery-related reading, at times I simply cannot stomach one more page of it and need to change the channel!

I'm a runner, and runners alternate hard and easy runs, long and short runs, as well as working in some rest days or cross training. If you work too hard all the time, you end up either injured or stale and overtrained. It's actually the rest/easy periods where you get stronger and faster; this is when you allow your body to recuperate from the stress placed on it in the hard/long periods and make the adaptations that will improve your performance.

I haven't thought about it before now, but as I read this thread, I guess I'm coming to view my recovery in a similar light to the running I do. So far, it seems to be working OK for me. I do definitely need some downtime at times...

PippiLngstockng

I insist on making recovery fun or I won't do it. Taking back my life is recovery and my new life has magic. I don't have time left for getting well in ways that feel like drudgery. I get better by embracing what I love in this world.