Self-Sufficiency vs. Enabling
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 785
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
If I understand correctly, she isn't "giving it away", but she is wanting to take
hard assets worth roughly the same value as the total (over years of payments) cash value of child support up front,
because she is concerned STBXH will not keep up with payments, which would make
her upset and angry even if she doesn't need the money to survive.
I would take the assets if the state allows if you know you and your kids will be OK until they are liquidated.
That way his downhill drinking / actions are no longer a variable you have to contend with.
If the value is roughly the same, you will have the money and peace of mind. That sounds win-win to me.
You don't need the cash flow at the moment but you have, in effect, a trust fund for your kids.
hard assets worth roughly the same value as the total (over years of payments) cash value of child support up front,
because she is concerned STBXH will not keep up with payments, which would make
her upset and angry even if she doesn't need the money to survive.
I would take the assets if the state allows if you know you and your kids will be OK until they are liquidated.
That way his downhill drinking / actions are no longer a variable you have to contend with.
If the value is roughly the same, you will have the money and peace of mind. That sounds win-win to me.
You don't need the cash flow at the moment but you have, in effect, a trust fund for your kids.
I guess the issue with 'letting him off the hook' so to speak is not that he's not paying his fair share... but more that now he can go on with the rest of his life without worrying about the financial well being of his children? He will assume that I or my family will take care of them. Though, honestly, he's always assumed that anyway. Well that and technically this land and our house both have my inheritance money invested in them so rightfully, they are more 'my' assets than his but because I invested 'my' money into our 'joint' assets, they are now considered joint assets in my state. I plan to sell the land when ds leaves for college and use the proceeds to supplement their 529 college plans since I likely won't be in a position to add to those plans.
And, yes, there is also the risk that if he gets his life together and starts earning more money, that the children would have been entitled to more child support and now would not be getting it...
Thank you, everyone for your advice, suggestions, and support. I'm still not 100% decided but I am leaning towards the property swap. He prefers the property swap because he doesn't want any financial obligations.
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