You never know what folks are going through...
 

I have a friend who I've known for 20 years. For the last 5, she's been on/off with an A. He's a mean drunk too. A year ago she was in town and she saw my ABF in full swing on my birthday. I was so embarrassed, but she didn't judge. I went online and ordered "Codependent No More" and "Women Who Love Too Much" for her. She says she can't put the books down.

I told her she deserved better than him. She said well so you you. I forgot that i did. I didn't cry about it this time, because I finally truly truly know that I do not deserve this. Me and abf are holding each other back.

If you see my posts, you will see that I've been wrestling with this unavoidable breakup for almost a year. It took me a long time to realize I have nothing to feel guilty about when I have "the talk" with him. All I'm doing now is coming up with rebuttals for if/when he tries to talk me out of it. We've been through 2 breakups before and he always got me back......back to this same crap of him basically being a lazy A. He's not even the type that hustles to help his family. He's passed out on the couch now after watching Netflix all day instead of looking for a job. If the men in my family knew, they'd be so upset.

I don't have a question today. I just want to let you guys know that your advice has been well received and I look forward to being single and being able to keep my house clean. He's very sloppy and it unnerves me. Walking and spilling coffee and **** everywhere. Thank you SR friends.

All I'm doing now is coming up with rebuttals for if/when he tries to talk me out of it.

I heard something awesome when I first started coming here- No is a complete sentence. Very useful. Keeps you from getting sucked back in to the never-ending cycle of drama and slop and nonsense. Stay strong.
If you have trouble finding the right words to dump him, just show him this-
:c010:

Rry,
so glad you were able to reach out to a friend who understands what it's like bein in a relationship with an A. I broke up wih my XABF 2 previous times, I guess the third time's the charm. Congrats. It takes a lot to face your fears and do some serious soul searching.