Katchie

At least he's attempting something. He went twice today, once at noon and once this evening. Last night he didn't want to talk about it, but tonight he did and looked/sounded stressed about it. As he spoke his face became redder. He said it was all positive but that he would have to take a hard look at all the bad he's done before it will get better. He then told me it was very stressful.
I am going to asset this is all normal?? I have no idea since I'm unfamiliar with an AH trying to work thru his problems--not that 2 days and 3 meetings means he's working anything, but good for him he is trying.

Stung

I don't know what is or isn't normal for an alcoholic. The first week AH started going to AA (back when I was allowing him to live here) he was really jerky and defensive about his meetings and eventually started quacking about how EVERYONE is an alcoholic if you really think about it and how some people at those meetings were REALLY messed up. He relapsed 7 days into going to daily meetings...

The only words of wisdom I have to offer you is do not put your eggs in his basket. 2 days, 30 days, 50 days, its great for him (maybe, who knows, it means nothing if he's just going to meetings. He needs to be dedicated and working his program.) but it all really means nothing for you. Keep going down your path, that way no matter what he decides to do with his recovery he won't be able to completely derail you if he relapses.

FireSprite

It sounds pretty normal in relation to my experience with RAH as well.... Sometimes the meetings (especially in early recovery) bring up difficult memories and the scope of the problem gets much clearer. RAH hears a lot of things that he can relate to and it makes him see it all differently when it is shown to him by others. He has had to take at least some mental accountability and that wars with his knee-jerk reaction of stuffing his feelings, blame shifting, etc. It got easier once he had a sponsor.

Its wonderful that he is putting in the effort Katchie, I hope he sticks with it!

tomsteve

"He said it was all positive but that he would have to take a hard look at all the bad he's done before it will get better.'
im in recovery and it was what happened to me. I was seeing the good that could come from workin the program, but was no longer in denial about my past actions. I felt like crap for what I had done to others in my past.
the great thing was that by workin the steps my past went from being something that brought up a lot of remorse and regrets to a very valuable possession im no longer afraid of.

please tell him I suggest keep goin to meetings, get a sponsor, work the program, and give it T.I.M.E.

lillamy

Katchie, that's what my friends who are RAs have said too. That they now have to face life, their actions, what they've meant to people they love, without the numbing influence of alcohol. I can only imagine the special kind of hell that would be.