Advice?
 

I keep going back and forth with myself over how to deal with/treat a loved one suffering from addiction. My mom has relapsed with various pills and alcohol over the past year and has literally lost everything. She's hopping from house to house (most of which are a bad influence or enabler). It's to the point where I'm not even sure if she's got a conscience anymore. She went to a women's rehab about 6 years ago when her brothers and sisters threatened to take my little sister from her. she lived a sober life for 5 years after that, but now she has burned her bridges with the family that was once willing to help her. I am the only one left and I feel so responsible for her and its tearing me apart.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? Do you condone tough love? What can I do to get her on the path to rehab again?

To answer your question...it's about the hardest thing to hear for you, but there is literally nothing you can do to get her on the path to rehab.

She'll start her recovery when she is ready, or she won't....but anything you do or don't do won't affect that at all.
It's frustrating, and freeing, all at once. Though, I know you are probably only feeling the frustrating part right now.

I'm sorry. You are among others that know exactly what you are going through and feeling right now, however. Please use us and this place to help yourself deal with the pain that your mother is causing you and your family.

Have you read this from the stickies yet, kaitpalen? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

You might find some help in it.

You also might find some help in Alanon (or Alateen, not sure how old you are). If you've been reading on this forum since your May joining date, you surely know that the only person you can count on helping is yourself, tough though it is....

I understand this feeling well, kaitpalen. The terrible truth however, is that you feeling responsible and horrible will do NOTHING to help your mom fight for sobriety. It is her fight, and her fight alone.

The "tough love" idea came from people at their wit's end, who have seen all their efforts to help an addict come to nothing - except to rob THEM of their sanity and resources.

I had to take a HUGE step back from the A in my life, just to regain my own emotional health. The distance has helped me realize that my actions when I was "helping" weren't doing a damn thing but wearing me out.

I hope you can find support for you (Alanon is great), and friends, teachers, and possibly individual therapy for you to help YOU with your stress.

Take good care, and please educate yourself as much as possible about alcoholism and how it affects friends and family. And keep posting here, it really helps.