The Birthday Blues
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i just wanna say that thinking that you are really missing out on "something" can be a trap....because it means you are overlooking what you HAVE in your life and instead think there's more FUN to be had OUT THERE somewhere. that's a mindset of LACK, what IS is not good enough...never satisfied, needing something MORE. by the way, that's the same trap addicts fall into all the time.
as it is, you are young and you have TWO beautiful children. first steps, first teeth, first words, first birthdays, first day of pre-school....on and on. playing and learning, reading them stories, taking them to the zoo, sing along songs, cute halloween costumes, finger painting. you get to be there for ALL of it.
i'm trying to think back, once my daughter was born i don't recall anything remotely resembling a vacation for eons...i did take her on a short flight from seattle to portland when she was an infant (prep for my best friend's wedding) and her dad and i drove in his work van down to california, stopping to visit his grandparent's along the way.
heck, today, a hundred years later, now we have two dogs and one just isn't suited for boarding, kenneling and we just don't trust even the most experienced dog sitter to watch them for any length of time, so my last "vacation" was 3.5 years ago and that was only 5 days. would i LIKE to be sitting on the beach in hawaii? oh god yes. but i'm not missing anything by NOT being there.
as it is, you are young and you have TWO beautiful children. first steps, first teeth, first words, first birthdays, first day of pre-school....on and on. playing and learning, reading them stories, taking them to the zoo, sing along songs, cute halloween costumes, finger painting. you get to be there for ALL of it.
i'm trying to think back, once my daughter was born i don't recall anything remotely resembling a vacation for eons...i did take her on a short flight from seattle to portland when she was an infant (prep for my best friend's wedding) and her dad and i drove in his work van down to california, stopping to visit his grandparent's along the way.
heck, today, a hundred years later, now we have two dogs and one just isn't suited for boarding, kenneling and we just don't trust even the most experienced dog sitter to watch them for any length of time, so my last "vacation" was 3.5 years ago and that was only 5 days. would i LIKE to be sitting on the beach in hawaii? oh god yes. but i'm not missing anything by NOT being there.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: State of Clarity
Posts: 82
Happy (almost) Birthday! I'm 32 and I can safely say that although my 20s were great, I like my 30's more. I'm more confident, more sure of myself, and I give way less of a crap about what people think of me. I've also been giving more though to the person I'd like to be, and making that happen. The 30s will be great, I promise :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 97
Happy birthday! 
My 20s were great/fun, but I got so much more setled into who I was/came into my own in my 30s-wouldn't trade it for anything! Now I have recently joined the ranks of the next decade (yikes!) and while in many ways, so far (with DH) it has already been the worst of times -relapse, betrayal, AND the best of times -treatment, recovery, and most importantly, ME WORKING ON ME, setting boundaries, KNOWING I can do this on my own if it comes to it, and knowing what I (and my kids) deserve, I am looking forward to the rest of what this new decade has to offer. My focus now is on SELF-CARE, physically and mentally, appreciating what I have, and both being strong/letting go which I used to think of as a contradiction, but am finally starting to understand, are kind of 2 sides of the same coin.
As stated above-there are ways to get the vacation, getaway, etc. even without a partner, but also know this-if you WANT a life partner, you are going to have one (You're only turning 29-you don't have 1 foot in the grave yet!). Eventually you will either work things our with your husband or you won't, and if you don't you will have learned some lessons, you will be a strong, independent woman caring for your kids, and some great new person will find that awesomely attractive. IF that's what you want...
So, give yourself permission to finish this little "pity party"-we are all entitled to one from time to time!, figure out how to get mom or a friend or someone to take the kiddos off your hands for a couple hours or days or ??? and get yourself horizontal somewhere warm to relax, whether it is a sandy carribean beach, or your couch with a blanket and a good book or a nap or whatever. You deserve it! And if you are willing to brave flying with the 2 little ones, there are some awesome resorts with kid clubs where you can make sandcastles and memories with the littles and still have time for mama/me time on the beach!
Here's to an awesome decade ahead!
My 20s were great/fun, but I got so much more setled into who I was/came into my own in my 30s-wouldn't trade it for anything! Now I have recently joined the ranks of the next decade (yikes!) and while in many ways, so far (with DH) it has already been the worst of times -relapse, betrayal, AND the best of times -treatment, recovery, and most importantly, ME WORKING ON ME, setting boundaries, KNOWING I can do this on my own if it comes to it, and knowing what I (and my kids) deserve, I am looking forward to the rest of what this new decade has to offer. My focus now is on SELF-CARE, physically and mentally, appreciating what I have, and both being strong/letting go which I used to think of as a contradiction, but am finally starting to understand, are kind of 2 sides of the same coin.
As stated above-there are ways to get the vacation, getaway, etc. even without a partner, but also know this-if you WANT a life partner, you are going to have one (You're only turning 29-you don't have 1 foot in the grave yet!). Eventually you will either work things our with your husband or you won't, and if you don't you will have learned some lessons, you will be a strong, independent woman caring for your kids, and some great new person will find that awesomely attractive. IF that's what you want...
So, give yourself permission to finish this little "pity party"-we are all entitled to one from time to time!, figure out how to get mom or a friend or someone to take the kiddos off your hands for a couple hours or days or ??? and get yourself horizontal somewhere warm to relax, whether it is a sandy carribean beach, or your couch with a blanket and a good book or a nap or whatever. You deserve it! And if you are willing to brave flying with the 2 little ones, there are some awesome resorts with kid clubs where you can make sandcastles and memories with the littles and still have time for mama/me time on the beach!
Here's to an awesome decade ahead!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Happy Birthday Stung! I'm February too, I'll be 46.
The way I see it, your 30's are a lot like your 20's, but so much better. I had more self confidence and self esteem after 30 and I was so much wiser.(I was such a dumb a$$ in my 20's, gawd!) I also found a new sense of self and autonomy that I never knew in my 20's. I learned not to care what anyone thought of me and did what made me happy, it was a very liberating time for me. To top it all off, I made a lot more money in my 30's so I had the means to have fun.
30 is not the end, it's the beginning!
Have fun!
The way I see it, your 30's are a lot like your 20's, but so much better. I had more self confidence and self esteem after 30 and I was so much wiser.(I was such a dumb a$$ in my 20's, gawd!) I also found a new sense of self and autonomy that I never knew in my 20's. I learned not to care what anyone thought of me and did what made me happy, it was a very liberating time for me. To top it all off, I made a lot more money in my 30's so I had the means to have fun.
30 is not the end, it's the beginning!
Have fun!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Phew. Birthday is over and aside from AH going crazy on me it was actually a really fun day. Did some baking with my toddler this morning, had a great meeting with my counselor and I gave myself the night off from cooking.
My birthday resolution is to have more fun and go easier on myself. Hopefully by the time I'm 30 I'll either be in the process of getting divorced or happily married instead of happily separated like I am now.
My birthday resolution is to have more fun and go easier on myself. Hopefully by the time I'm 30 I'll either be in the process of getting divorced or happily married instead of happily separated like I am now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: nh
Posts: 339
Happy Birthday Stung! Today is my middle childs birthday...she turns 29. I shopped for vitamins last week, and ended up with the Centrum Silver...and just wait! When you turn 50 you get your AARP card in the mail just to rub salt in the wound...enjoy your thirties while you can still loose weight with minimal diet and exercise because before yu know it the hot flashes and mood swings will be upon ya!!!
Hope you got the humor... Have a great day!!!
Hope you got the humor... Have a great day!!!
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